It has come to the attention of the Church Correlation Department that a so-called group of so-called academics has undertaken to do a so-called survey on so-called gender issues among so-called members of the so-called Church. As internet information (including surveys) does not have a truth filter, the Correlation Department has undertaken to edit the survey so that it may be more faith promoting, and less tainted by the philosophies of (wo)men.
Please tell us a little about how you heard about this survey. Who referred you to it?
- The Holy Ghost whispered to me that I should take it.
- The Three Nephites exhorted me to take it while they were changing my flat tire.
- The spirit of a just man made perfect appeared to me and made known unto me that I must take it. I know that I was not deceived, as he refused to shake my hand.
- Other.
Of course your name is on the records of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. On which other organizations’ records is your name also recorded? (Mark all that apply.)
- The Republican Party
- The Church of the Firstborn
- The Quorum of the Anointed
- The Council of Fifty
- The Lamb’s Book of Life
What is your eternal gender?
- Presider
- Nurturer
How active are you in the Church?
- Fully active
- Fully active, but struggling with being less active