If we’re between Palm Sunday and Easter, that must mean it’s Holy Week. But more importantly for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, after Easter comes General Conference! I have some guesses about things we will and won’t hear about.
- Church purchase of Kirtland Temple: 70%
- Church top purchaser of land in Nebraska: << 1%
- Church purchase of Pacific Gateway Industrial development in 2022: << 1%
- Kirtland Temple, the first temple of the Restoration: 90%
- Kirtland Safety Society, the first financial institution of the Restoration: < 1%
- Joseph Smith ranking #1 in Salt Lake Tribune poll of greatest Church presidents: 5%
- Gordon B. Hinckley ranking #3: < 1%
- Russell M. Nelson ranking #7: << 1%
- Russell M. Nelson’s upcoming 100th birthday (in September): 10%
- 200th anniversary of Joseph Smith’s first follow-up meeting with the Angel Moroni (also in September): 1%
- Positive comments about Community of Christ: 50%
- Positive comments about Baptists: 1%
- Positive comments about Muslims: < 1%
- Quote from the D&C: “whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same”: 50%
- Quote from the D&C: “all things shall be done by common consent in the church”: 1%
- Quote from the D&C: “And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him”: <<1%
- Mention of the solar eclipse occurring the day after Conference ends: 30%
- Mention of the solar eclipse with an analogy relating to being the light of the world or something like that: 25%
- Mention of the solar eclipse with a suggestion that it means the Second Coming is imminent: << 1%
- Mention of Easter: >99%
- Mention of one-hour church on Easter: 50%
- Mention of Good Friday by name: 20%
- Mention of Palm Sunday by name: 20%
- Mention of Maundy Thursday by name: << 1%
- Reference to Elder Holland’s “musket” talk becoming required reading for BYU students: 10%
- Announcement that Ezra Taft Benson’s talk where he explained that civil rights protestors were tools of communists is now required reading for BYU students: < 1%
- Announcement that Spencer W. Kimball’s talk “The False Gods We Worship” is now required reading for BYU students: << 1%
- Suggestion that tithing should be paid on gross income: 5%
- Suggestion that tithing should be paid on net income: << 1%
- Suggestion that tithing should be paid in sheep: << 1%
- Men are encouraged to take a fast from Reddit: << 1%
- Teens are encouraged to take a fast from TikTok: 10%
- Women are encouraged to take a fast from Instagram: 50%
Here are links to my previous Conference predictions in case you want to check how inaccurate I’ve been in the past:
Covenant path mentions= 100%
2 women speakers + one female prayer= 90% (possibly less since we just got our own broadcast last week)
Double down on how women have priesthood power= 75%
Mentions of instagram comment furor= 0%
Great additions, acw!
Speaker makes a relatively minor point by introducing an obscure quote from a past talk by President Nelson: 95%
Speaker introduces Nelson quote using the phrase “President Nelson declared”: 50%
Vigorous condemnation of abuse: 90%
New policy requiring bishops to report abuse to police or social services: <1%
Doubling down on women having roles and responsibility but no priesthood power 100%. Message: keep doing all the work ladies while male priesthood preside and lead.
Bednar redefining words – 90%. Example: redefines preside and priesthood to mean represent and serve so that women can do more without real power or decision making responsibility.
Makes relief society president officially in charge of the ward and presiding in all meetings. 0%
Announces that male activities need a supervising female leader to preside over them 1%
Changes name of relief society to just women’s auxiliary and title of relief society president to true role as Bishop’s Female Chief of Staff. Elders quorum president renamed “female chief of Staff’s less effective but still higher ranking Stake President’s Head Boy.” It’s a long title. We can workshop an acronym. Also easily confused with Priest quorum leader amongst the young men aged 16-18’s new title – “Bishop’s Head Boy that also outranks the female Chief of Staff but is only a child”. High priest group leader no longer a role and Sunday school president finally eliminated as a calling because no one actually does anything in that job. 0%
Primary renamed Future Tithe Payers. And primary president new calling as “Keeper of the Faith and revenue generator. “ 0%
We will hear about The Covenant Path, and temples, and we will get more temples announced, with no explanation of what the rationale is for so many temples.
E, the rationale for so many temples is simple: The Covenant Path!
I would say the LDS Church is much more likely to say positive things about Muslims than Baptists — https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/elder-kearon-apostle-ramadan
Oakes or someone else hopped up on religious liberty urges the saints to be politically active (dog whistle to vote). Neutrality will be mentioned but we all know the saints are red, so activating the group is putting weights on the Republican scale. In emphasizing our neutrality, the false dichotomy and ignorant “both-side-ism” of the upcoming US presidential and key elections will be foolishly supported. Yet, our values do not, can not, and should never align with the orange menace. But, I predict an 85% probability that some GA engages the saints this way under the guise of neutrality. Good news! As long as you vote, even if it is for the most despotic president in history who is a convicted felon, you keep progressing down the covenant path. We’re not going to stand up to any of that messy political stuff, like Jesus so foolishly did . On this day- Good Friday- we remember how THAT turned out.*
*Sarcasm of course. But, honestly, I have so much cognitive dissonance with politics and my faith .
When did holy week become a thing for Mormons?
Eric, I know- it’s a new thing this year. We are a low church (with Protestant/puritan roots) that has typically eschewed high holidays and rituals- unlike our high church (Catholic, etc.) friends. Yet, for several years many in the bloggernacle have cited a yearning for and enlightenment with high holiday rituals. So, as RMN’s
big Jesus kick, the flood gates opened for high ritual.
My relatives in Provo/Orem participated in a stake sponsored Palm Sunday walk around the temple. Members actually brought palm fronds and waved them as everyone slowly marched in a line and sang hymns. (Granted, their hymn choices wouldn’t have passed muster for Palm Sunday service, but for a first go it wasn’t bad.) They loved it. I cringed.
I think the brainiacs on the bloggernacle will tell you this is a great step- a welcomed, missing element of Christian discipleship. As nearly all of our communal time as saints is spent as a passive audience to amateur sermons and classes (with the exception of taking the sacrament, baptism and temple worship), I can see why people long for more symbolic, more participatory observances. We swung on a pendulum. But, I just point out that we came from an extreme and are bound to swing to extreme high ritual. At some point there will be another protest and Mormon Holy Week will be scorned for its rameumpton-esque ways, and we’ll be back to authentic, not demonstrative motions again.
I’m a musician and claim many performing in the liturgy of various Christian high churches. While I love the masterworks, I do not care for ritual myself (even in the temple) and could just as well set that aside. I’m not a fan of the new Mormon Holy Week. But, it doesn’t matter. Long ago I realized I had been squashed by the stone rolling down the mountain.
Continuing a side track of this post and conversation…
Eric and Mortimer, for me personally, there has been a growing feeling that I’m missing out on something in my observance of important events celebrated at Christmas and Easter. I’m trying to figure out what I can do to fill that perceived need. I’ve tried Advent and Holy Week, but haven’t yet found the worship mix that works for me.
So just saying that the reasons for celebrating Holy Week are probably mixed and differ from person to person: some performative aspects to show we are Christians, some need for ritual, some need for a more meaningful celebration, and probably a bunch of others I’m not thinking of at this time.
I’m not sure if garments and being less casual about wearing them will be explicitly mentioned, but there will be one or more talks about adhering to temple covenants. It will be all about wearing your garments without ever uttering the word “garments”. I’m putting probability at >90%.