Chad Nielsen’s recent post at T&S on updates on the hymn book revision process reminded me that there are a couple of songs that I’m really, really hoping don’t make it into the new Children’s Songbook. The first isn’t even in there now, but from Chad’s post, it sounds like it’s a strong candidate. It’s “If the Savior Stood Beside Me.”
If your ward loves this song like mine and you’ve been in Primary in the past couple of decades, you’re probably familiar with it. Its lyrics begin with its title, and then has the singer ask if they would do various things differently if the Savior stood beside them. “Would I do the things I do?” “Would I think of his commandments and try harder to be true?” “Would I say the things I say?” “Would I try to share the gospel?” “Would I speak more reverently?”
I understand that this might just be because I’m a neurotic Mormon, but the tone of this song strikes me as very much shaming kids and reminding them that they need to stop having so much fun and return to the grim, joyless path that Jesus wants them to be on. And yes, I know there are scriptures and statements by GAs about how the gospel means living joyously, but I think for kids in particular, what they often learn in Primary is that Jesus is most concerned with having them shut up and stop wiggling. So having them sing a song where they question whether they would do this or that or the other thing if Jesus were standing there seems to me to be very much a reminder that having fun is for places other than church, and when we’re at church, we’re quiet and miserable.
Even if you don’t agree with how I read the tone of the first two verses, I wonder if you might not agree that the song has an impractical approach to teaching kids to be moral agents. Do we really think the best way to get them to make good choices is to have them think that Jesus is always looking over their shoulder? I think it would be far better for them to learn some internal moral compass where they can make good decisions on their own. Because even if you do think Jesus is always watching them, he sure doesn’t seem to intervene much, so what if they conclude that he’s not there, or that it doesn’t matter if he is, so they can just go ahead and do what they want? I know philosophers and theologians have thought about this question a bunch, and I’m sure there are a bunch of details I’m missing, but I just think it’s more practical to have kids be internally motivated to do good rather than externally motivated, because the external motivation will not always be available.
Anyway, getting back to the song, to be fair, I think it is somewhat improved by the third verse, where even though it has the kids sing that Jesus is in fact always there looking at them, it’s actually because “I am in his watchful care.” I still don’t think this makes up for the first two verses, though.
The second song that I really hope doesn’t make it into the new Children’s Songbook is called “To Think about Jesus.” That’s its title, anyway, but in my head when I think of it, I always refer to it as “It Shouldn’t Be Hard,” because that’s the line that’s repeated over and over in its lyrics. Here’s the first verse.
It shouldn’t be hard to sit very still
And think about Jesus, his cross on the hill,
And all that he suffered and did for me;
It shouldn’t be hard to sit quietly.
It shouldn’t be hard, even though I am small,
To think about Jesus, not hard at all.
What I hate about this song is that it’s obviously written from the perspective of an adult, someone who has decades of practice sitting still in long meetings, and projecting this adult behavioral norm back onto kids, for whom it obviously is hard to “sit very still,” regardless of what they’re supposed to be thinking about while they do. It sounds like it was written by a frustrated Primary teacher. To be clear, I totally sympathize with that teacher. I’ve taught Primary, and fought the endless, hopeless fight to try to get kids to keep their bums in their chairs during class or singing time, when all they want to do is be up on their feet or down on the floor or maybe if they’re using their chairs, using them as stepping stools. I sympathize with the teacher, but I think the problem isn’t with the kids, it’s with the structure of Primary, which requires willingness to sit still for periods that seem totally inappropriate for the ages of at least the younger of the kids. I also think it’s particularly awful to take these lines–these lies–and put them in the kids’ own mouths, and make them sing them. It teaches them that something’s wrong with them that they can’t sit still for long periods of time. It teaches them that the only reason they can’t is because they must not love Jesus. When of course the reality is that they’re kids, and especially when they’re young, kids aren’t going to sit still for any length of time for anything.
If we are going to force kids to sing this self-condemning song, I vote that the kids get to force the adults to sing the following alternative version:
It shouldn’t be hard, remembering back
When I was a child, the focus I lacked.
How each minute felt an eternity,
How painful it was to sit quietly.
It shouldn’t be hard, even though I am tall,
To recall my childhood, not hard at all.
Unlike “If the Savior Stood Beside Me,” this song isn’t improved by its later verses. Its second verse is just more of the same, featuring the lines “It shouldn’t be hard to sit tall in my seat, To listen politely, to quiet my feet,” as well as the same chorus as the first verse (the last two lines above).
After thinking of these couple of songs, I wondered how many other songs for children I might not like for similar reasons. I read through the lyrics of all the songs in the current Children’s Songbook. While there are some other songs I’m not a fan of for other reasons, I was pleasantly surprised that there weren’t any others that struck me in the way these two did. Actually, I was very happy to see how many songs talked about trying to be good, which strikes me as so much a better tone than shaming kids for not being good enough.
Also, maybe to disabuse you a little of the notion that I’m only a complainer and a critic (which I admit is probably a fair perception), here are a few of my favorites from the Children’s Songbook that I really hope do make it into the new version: “I Feel My Savior’s Love,” “Kindness Begins with Me,” “Beautiful Savior,” “I’ll Walk with You,” and “Stars Were Gleaming.”
What songs would you like to see added to or removed from the Children’s Songbook? (And if you haven’t already, be sure to let your voice be heard in the Church’s survey too!)
I told them to drop I am a Child of God just because it’s overused and I’m sick of it. I have no hope that will happen.
Among my other suggestions was a new title for We Thank Thee, O God for a Prophet. The song is not about the prophet. That just happens to be the thing mentioned in the first line.
Faith…the lyrics are not doctrinally sound. Faith is knowing the sun will rise? Um, no, that’s not faith at all.
“Faith is knowing the sun will rise?”
Alma 32:21 – If ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
I’ve always understood the line in terms of that verse, and it made sense to me.
The musical path to teaching children to enjoy church is to take them to lots of middle school and high school orchestra and choral concerts toward the end of every semester. Also music recitals. Compared to concerts and recitals, Primary sharing time, and even the sacrament meeting, are fun hours for a child. That really has been my experience as a father.
I have nothing but good memories of If the Savior Stood Beside Me. As a child, I always found the idea that we need to acts as if we are always being watched by an omniscient God to be so simple it didn’t need any explanation, and I still believe that it is a very basic and essential part of our religion.
But as for the other song you cited… Let’s just say I hope to never hear anyone sing it. We ought not to be teaching children that:
1) Sitting still is the most important thing for a child to do, or
2) Proper worship consists of sitting calmly and quietly (just read the Bible and Book of Mormon and you’ll find plenty of counterexamples).
And it really does trivialize the mission and work of Jesus when His name and suffering are invoked to get children to be quiet. It seems to me that, during His time on earth, he had more important things to teach about.
The implications of this song are really quite dark.
I’ve always had a problem with “The Family is of God,” where the father and mother’s roles are clearly defined. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a home with a single mother who had to take on all parenting roles. It just rubs me the wrong way that children are still being taught that the father leads, the mother nurtures.
The “it shouldn’t be hard” song is also written in a minor key. My brother and I used to play it dramatically on the piano and sing the lyrics to each other in a Disney villain-style voice. “It shouldn’t be hard…Mwhahaha!”
Keepers:
-The Handcart Song (historical song sung on the plains, speaks to our history, but moreover- our unique optimism and idealism.
-Whenever I hear the song of a bird (needs to alternate verses w/male/female and plural nouns like “she gave me my ears…” and “yes I know heavenly parents love me”. Is there any other song that reminds us of heavenly mother? No, there is not. )
-Follow the Prophet (yes, I know people complain about it, but I love Klezmer music. I think that a lot of the complaints either come from anti-Semitic veins or culturally sheltered people that don’t understand the style. I just read that the German government recently advised that men not wear skullcaps/ Yarmulkes /kippahs in public due to a rise in hate crimes. Now is not the time to weed out the only Yiddish cultural homage we have. Add some Deborah verses and keep it.
-all the songs you mentions in the OP.
-all the nature songs (in the leafy tree tops, popcorn, give said the little stream, etc)
-all the “wiggles” songs (Once there was a snowman, hinges, do as I’m doing, etc. If you’ve ever worked in primary you’ll know how important these tools are for keeping the hoardes from rioting. I’m worried that since they don’t mention “Jesus”, or “God” they’ll be axed.
Clunkers:
13 articles of faith songs. Kudos to whoever put those together, but ugh. So looong. The melody went away by the fourth article and never came back.
Don’t even thinkaboutit (don’t add these):
-Faith in every footstep (it’s a choral piece not hymnody. Someone needs to fix the part writing that modulates from the exposition and chorus. Awkward!
-Gethsemone (there’s a YouTube sensation of a little toddler girl singing this song. Too whiney, too pop culture-ish.)
Bring back:
-Alleluhjah by Mozart
Think about adding:
-Sing a Song (Sesame Street/Karen Carpenter song- “Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out long. Don’t worry if it’s not good enough, for anyone else to hear. Sing- sing a song. La la la la laaaa, la la la la la laaaa….”)
-It’s such a good feeling – Mr. Rogers
-There are many ways to say I love you -Mr. Rogers
-Won’t you be my neighbor -Mr. Rogers
-I think you are just fine as you are -Mr Rogers
-Merry Christmas Little Zachary -John Denver (replace name Zachery with “to my family” or something else)
-some more joyful Christmas songs. With the exception of Christmas bells, everything is quiet and somber. Sheesh. Can’t we let the kids celebrate a little?
-Independence, MO pageant “A Frontier Story 1833” had a folk tune that I think was historical (don’t know). I can’t find all the lyrics online, but it had a country-like early American folk tune, “Here in the valley of old Missouri”. Lovely music, beautiful sentiment.
Oh man, those article of faith “songs.” God forbid we actually teach the kids what the AoF mean instead of just having them memorize. And to memorize them using the tacked on melody—blast. I always told my primary students: I don’t care if you know every word but I expect you to be able to explain them to me.
I hope you write in your feedback.
I agree with your assessment of both of those songs and that in general the Children’s Songbook is quite good.
I’d add to the list of songs to remove “When I Am Baptized.” If it’s true that children are sinless until the age of accountability, then this song with the line “I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away” is teaching something false. Not to mention that baptism is symbolic of making a covenant and of death and resurrection–it doesn’t literally or symbolically wash away our sins. The remission of sins comes from repentance. This song sets kids up for a lifetime of misunderstanding baptism. I was baptism coordinator for my stake and every last baptismal service included this song–it made me crazy.
@Catherine: YES! This song is the best for this very reason. I vote they keep the music in the new songbook, but replace it with Ziff’s lyrics… or any lyrics for that matter.
It shouldn’t be hard to play basketball
But not on Sunday in the cultural hall
Cuz that makes my parents get mad at me
And it’s too hard to play quietly
It shouldn’t be hard to play basketball
Unless it is Sunday, then no fun at all.
I don’t agree about axing “If the Savior Stood Beside Me,” because it’s a song about Christ rather than, say, fathers presiding. But I think I understand your point of view. I would change the “Would I speak more reverently?” line though. “Reverent” is an abstract concept, difficult for kids to understand, and we make it all the more difficult by interchanging it with “quiet.” And I’d drop the one about sharing the gospel. I cringe when we tell kids to be missionaries. I’ve heard too many stories of Mormon kids telling others that they are going to hell if they don’t join the church. It seems highly unlikely that a kid has the tact to respectfully share the gospel when many adults don’t.
But I agree entirely about letting “It Shouldn’t Be Hard” go. Its condescension and gaslighting has irked me since I was little. Your revised lyrics are spot on.
I completely agree with you about the two songs. I hate how reverence gets equated with shutting up. My kids came home from primary with a Caught Being Reverent award. I asked them what they were thinking about. They responded Minecraft! We had a discussion about how they weren’t really being reverent.
I hope we can change some of the gender language. Simple changes like “we might live” instead of “man might live” can make a huge difference. We can love our neighbor, instead of our brother. In general we need more balance between men and women.
One of my biggest issues is the racial language. There are several hymns that need to change or get rid of all together:
– The Wintery Day – Let’s not celebrate how we kicked the Native Americans off their land
– Come, O Thou King of Kings – Chosen race? Heathen nations? What decade are we in?
– Adam-ondi-Ahman – Let’s not talk about the holy race
– Israel, Israel, God is Calling – Israel is simultaneously the people of his choice and has judgement’s finger pointed at them
– Spirit of God – Just the part about Ephraim being crowned. Won’t all of the righteous be crowned?
I would really like Let There Be Peace on Earth, What the World Needs Now, and I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing. I’m not sure what the copyright issues on those would be. I’ve also liked the idea of adding versus to the Follow the Prophet song to include some women.
I agree that the lyrics to The Wintry Day must go. But I love the melody and the harmonies. Could we keep it and just start over on the words?
The guilt trip was even worse in the original (p. B-55 of the Sing With Me orange book). The last line in the current book has been changed to “To think about Jesus, not hard at all”. It used to say (with an extra sixteenth-note in the melody) “To think always of Jesus, not hard at all.” As though any time you were thinking about anything but Jesus was some kind of moral failure.
While I can agree with your thinking on the words about children sitting still and so forth, it begs the question why are we attempting to get children to do what they are simply not capable of doing at certain ages? Here’s a thought – why not offer a nursery where several women trade off Sundays watching/teaching the children how they are to behave, while allowing them to still be the children they are. It can be done. And when they reach the proper age, then bring them into Sacrament meeting to join in. If done correctly, they will know what is expected and not only will they know, they will be capable of acting appropriately. Why do so many women believe/feel their children are being punished with such a scenario? This, in my opinion, is the proper way to handle the situation. We don’t ask children to join Priesthood or Relief Society meetings until they are of age and ready – why do we do this with Sacrament meeting? And the age old argument about “we believe in family” is a cop out frankly. Separating the children for Sacrament meeting does not in any way diminish the family. If you ask me, the mothers would probably get more out of Sacrament meeting if they weren’t distracted by their children, and personally I think it would help them be better mothers/fathers. The “nursery” can be rotated by parents and other willing adults the parents are open to trusting with the care of their children, and children can be children, parents can focus on the Sacrament meeting and others aren’t distracted by the noise and outbursts children bring. Frankly, I believe it is what is needed. But then again, nobody asked me. So I guess the best thing is to simply talk to Father about it and let Him deal with it as He sees fit.