Welcome to our new game, Build Your Own Sacrament Meeting Talk Analogy, where we give you the vignette, and you make the analogy. There are no rules, except the regular blogging ones, but the winner gets Kiskilili’s astrally projected soul speaking Ugaritik on their home answering machine or voicemail.
Here are three stories, situations, and scenarios for your first round. Pick one, two, or all, and give us a gospel analogy for the situation we describe. Aim for creative and unexpected readings of the situations; the more allegorical acrobatics you display, the better. Extra points if you write in your very best Sac-Meet-talk-style, e.g., phrases like “tender mercy” and extraneous use of “unto” are encouraged.
1. Yesterday, Lady Amalthea and I hiked most of Timpanogos. Today, neither of us can walk very well, but I’m doing better than she is, given that she fell on a rock halfway down and sprained her ankle. Her injury meant that coming down the mountain took even longer than going up, since she was unimpressed by my suggestion that I just push her down the rest of the mountain to speed things up a little. (I mean, she was hurt anyway . . . ) It’s sad that she’s barely mobile, but unfortunately, I can’t stop making fun of her. This is ironic as well as mean, given that my post-hike hobbling is proving more efficient than hers, but not any more graceful.
What gospel application would you make? (Remember, you’ll only get minimal points for “This is an example of why we should be nicer to our gimpy friends,” but more if you can make this an illustration of the oath and covenant of the priesthood.)
2. “Chthonophagia” refers to a disease or syndrome characterized by the compulsive consumption of dirt. It comes from the Greek roots chthonos, “earth,” and phagia, “eating.” It has roughly 10,500 hits on Google, and is attested in print at least as early as 1835, in The progressive dictionary of the English language. Despite all this, the word does not appear in the supposedly comprehensive, though often conservative, Oxford English Dictionary, which does include the words “bootylicious” and “LOL.”
What spiritual insight can you glean from this apparent lexicographical oversight?
3. In the video game Dragon Age, the protagonist arrives at a temple looking for a dead prophet. There, you meet eight ghosts, who pose riddles about big moral and metaphysical concepts like envy, mercy, and justice; if you get them right, you find out the mortal identity of the ghost, but if you gets the riddle wrong, the ghost turns into a monster and pounces. The temple is further inhabited by ghosts from your past and by evil apparitions of you and your friends, all of whom you have to kill to to keep going. Eventually, to get through the whole thing, you have to take off all your clothes and walk through a wall of fire.
Is this about modesty, casting off the natural (wo)man, the philosophies of men, or maybe just a secret code for using the wholesome herbs of the earth and eating meat sparingly?