So a couple of years ago, I made a post at Times and Seasons about trusting God. In the meantime, things have changed, and the whole trusting God thing is a challenge for me at the moment. But let me back up a bit.
For the past 2 1/2 years, I was engaged, but a few months ago my fiance and I broke up. It’s a long story, and the details are personal, but one of the things I’m struggling with is a more general problem: how it’s affected my relationship with God.
To make a (very) long story short, God led me into a relationship with this person to a point where He was encouraging me (strongly) to commit my life to this person. And now that’s currently not an option, I’m in emotional pain, and I’m uncertain about how to move forward with God since his advice has been so confusing. I would even be okay if God said to me at this point: “Hey, you tried to make it work, and that was the right thing to do, but now this break-up is what you need to move forward with you life, and here’s how you should move forward,” but He hasn’t even given me that much. God’s still telling me to try to figure out how to make a committed relationship work with someone who currently only wants to be my friend.
So, to the point of my post. I’m not looking for relationship advice. And I’m not really looking for a lot of life advice–I am currently moving forward down a path that feels right to me. I’m more concerned with some narrow questions that are broadly applicable: what do we do when God leads us into situations that seem to have no way out? How do we (re-)learn to trust God after this type of experience?
One request: please do not offer specific judgments about my personal situation above (i.e. tell me that I must be misinterpreting God or that I got myself into emotional pain solely through my own folly). While I am far from perfect and have made my share of mistakes, I have also spent 4 years living with this situation and praying about it, and despite a certain amount of confusion, I’m pretty comfortable with my assessment of God’s involvement in my life. Anyway, because this issue is so personal and difficult, I will delete any comments that remotely violate our comment policy.
- 17 December 2008