One of my all-time favorite movies is Ordinary People. In it, there’s a scene in which Conrad, a teenager who was hospitalized for several months after attempting suicide and is now trying to re-adjust to life, gets together with one of his friends from the hospital. He asks her, do you ever miss it? When she asks why, he responds, because no one ever hid anything there. It’s a line that’s very much resonated with me over the years.
Tests of Faithfulness
Think about the following statements:
1) I have serious doubts about Book of Mormon historicity.
2) We need to return to the Constitution, and resist the ungodly socialist plot threatening America.
3) I have extensively researched the topic, and have concluded that the Lost Ten Tribes are on the moon. Read More
Please, Don’t Love Me
I’ve had various encounters throughout my life with anti-Mormons who were out to save me from this terrible cult in which I am a member. Needless to say, this is an attitude I find extremely off-putting—in fact, as an unorthodox Mormon who engages in plenty of my own critiques of the Church, there are fewer things that rekindle my loyalty and connection to it more than encountering people on a mission to rescue Mormons from their delusions. But this is the thing that really gets to me. That if you ask these people why they’re behaving this way, often they say that it’s out of love. That they love Mormons. All I can say is, please oh please save me from this version of love.
This is the problem. You can’t argue people into believing that you love them. Read More
In Defense of Mundane Details
I think Facebook is fun. Let me emphasize that I am not saying this to start a debate about Facebook per se–why people should or should not be on Facebook, issues of privacy, what you think of the new layout, etc. I realize it’s not for everyone, for a variety of reasons, and I don’t want to hash that out here.
What I want to specifically talk about is a particular criticism of Facebook (or social networking in general) I’ve seen multiple times which I find somewhat jarring. It goes something like this: “I don’t want to hear about the mundane details of people’s lives. I don’t have time for such inanities.” Read More
Confessions of a General Conference Skipper
The first time I ever watched or listened to a session of General Conference was my freshman year at BYU. And no, I’m not a convert.
Growing up, since we didn’t have cable TV and lived outside of Utah, our only option for watching conference was a TV at the stake center. I’m sure many of you did (and do) this, but, for whatever reason, my mom wasn’t into the idea, and my dad, always more than happy to skip church, didn’t object. (I seem to remember my mom once saying something about resenting the idea of getting dressed up to watch TV, but I may just be projecting.) Read More
Why old LDS men are pushing marriage
It’s not quite General Conference time yet, but the semi-annual marriage question has arisen early this fall. After last April’s Conference, the Salt Lake Tribune popped the question; this time, it’s in the Sacramento Bee, of all places. The Exponent has talked about it lately, and after a fireside with Elder Oaks on Sunday night, my Facebook feed has exploded with discussion. It’s the old menace-to-society dilemma: as the Tribute put it, why are young LDS men pushing back marriage? Read More
Boys and Girls and God
[My friend ajbc wrote this post for her personal blog earlier today, and I thought it was so interesting that I instantly begged her to let me steal it for discussion at ZD. Enjoy!]
Recently Overheard (Over read?) on Facebook
So…my old roommate announces that she’s been called as the Personal Progress consultant in her ward. She asks anyone if they remember any good projects they did or really enjoyed in Personal Progress, to be used as suggestions for things she can organize.
Some people I do not know replied thus, in no particular order: Read More
Fast for Janet of fMh
Please join us in fasting for Janet of fMh. Read more here.
The Talk I Always Wanted to Give
Some of you requested the full-text for the talk I gave this last weekend on “Crises of Faith”…
Here it is.
Shout-Out to “Both Sides Now”
It’s feast or famine at ZD, and right now some of us, Poohlike, are wondering how to wait out the hurricane with only a few pots of honey.
But don’t despair! If patience isn’t your cup of non-caffeinated fruit tea and you need a Mormon feminist blogging fix, head over to Beatrice and Galdralag’s new blog, Both Sides Now. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.
Glacking: A Proclamation to the World
A thought experiment:
______
By divine design, it is the responsibility of fathers to glack in their families, in love and righteousness. Mothers are primarily responsible for kribbling.
Fathers are to glack in love and righteousness. Fathers are to provide their families with whatever glacking is necessary. A man who holds the priesthood will glack for his family in Church participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the covenants and ordinances. Fathers should earn the respect and confidence of their children by their loving glacking.
The gift and role of mothers is to kribble for their their children and husbands. Mothers who know desire to kribble. They kribble strong and immovable, with guidance from heaven. Mothers who kribble honor sacred ordinances and covenants; they are leaders, nurturers, and teachers. Kribbling mothers do the work of God.
In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
_____
Since no one seems to know what “preside” means anyway, what if we just dropped it? Makes that the whole “equal partner” thing feel like a whole lot less of a contradiction.
Build Your Own Sacrament Meeting Talk Analogy
Welcome to our new game, Build Your Own Sacrament Meeting Talk Analogy, where we give you the vignette, and you make the analogy. There are no rules, except the regular blogging ones, but the winner gets Kiskilili’s astrally projected soul speaking Ugaritik on their home answering machine or voicemail.
A Modest Proposal
It is a melancholy object to all of us, whether in the heart of Zion or the fringes of the so-called “mission field,” to see how women who dress to flaunt their shapely knees and calves, or who purchase backpacks with only one strap to wear across the chest and make their double-breastedness evident to all, assail the hapless eyes of the red-blooded and vigorous boys and men around them. These pitiable men are captive to the sight of the female body, with its mincing steps and outstretched neck, on which they cannot gaze without losing themselves utterly to a deluge of lustful and wicked transportations.
Indeed, some women dress so as to turn men into walking pornographers.
In a Friggin’ Candy Store!
Husband and I just got assigned to speak and the topic is….
::drumroll::
“Crises of Faith” Read More
How EFY Promotes Immodesty
About a month ago, this comment was posted over at the 100 Hour Board (a BYU-sponsored student Q&A forum):
When I was growing up, my family had very little money and new clothes were rarely in the budget. Read More
A Modest Bit of Data
Over at Doves and Serpents, Heather Olsen Beal recently blogged about a Friend article in which a four year old girl learns the importance of not wearing clothes that show her shoulders. The article was also discussed at fMh, and Heather, Erin Hill, and Chelsea Fife were guests on a Mormon Matters podcast, where they used the article as a jumping off point for discussing how modesty is taught (and could be taught better) in the Church.
In the discussion, following Heather’s post, she raised the question of whether this focus has changed over time, whether the practice of drilling even prepubescent children on modesty of dress is a new thing:
I think the rhetoric we were getting from church leaders and publications 20 years ago was much more sane and reasonable. I feel like it’s gotten ratcheted up to the nth degree. It’s no longer a modest position; it’s extreme.
That modesty is being pushed harder and with more detail now than it used to be is my impression too, but I wondered whether I could find any data that would support or refute this conclusion.
A Post-Pioneer Day Manifesto
Sunday was Pioneer Day, which got me to thinking about our cult of pioneer worship and how, even though we give lip service to the idea that any convert is a “pioneer,” of sorts, I get the impression that many people who don’t have pioneer ancestors (in the traditional sense of the word) don’t feel much of a connection to the holiday.
I propose, therefore, that January 24th (six months after Pioneer Day) be celebrated as Converts’ Day. Read More
You Talkin’ to Me, Mormon?
I’m in favor of modifying the scriptures to give them gender-inclusive language. I’ve always thought that the strongest argument for this is that gender-exclusive language makes them insulting to women. But I recently encountered another argument that I also find quite persuasive: women find it more difficult to read the scriptures as addressing them.
Don’t Google “Mormon”
My ward’s high councilman warned us recently not to Google “Mormon.”