It’s not quite General Conference time yet, but the semi-annual marriage question has arisen early this fall. After last April’s Conference, the Salt Lake Tribune popped the question; this time, it’s in the Sacramento Bee, of all places. The Exponent has talked about it lately, and after a fireside with Elder Oaks on Sunday night, my Facebook feed has exploded with discussion. It’s the old menace-to-society dilemma: as the Tribute put it, why are young LDS men pushing back marriage? Read More
Boys and Girls and God
[My friend ajbc wrote this post for her personal blog earlier today, and I thought it was so interesting that I instantly begged her to let me steal it for discussion at ZD. Enjoy!]
Recently Overheard (Over read?) on Facebook
So…my old roommate announces that she’s been called as the Personal Progress consultant in her ward. She asks anyone if they remember any good projects they did or really enjoyed in Personal Progress, to be used as suggestions for things she can organize.
Some people I do not know replied thus, in no particular order: Read More
Fast for Janet of fMh
Please join us in fasting for Janet of fMh. Read more here.
The Talk I Always Wanted to Give
Some of you requested the full-text for the talk I gave this last weekend on “Crises of Faith”…
Here it is.
Shout-Out to “Both Sides Now”
It’s feast or famine at ZD, and right now some of us, Poohlike, are wondering how to wait out the hurricane with only a few pots of honey.
But don’t despair! If patience isn’t your cup of non-caffeinated fruit tea and you need a Mormon feminist blogging fix, head over to Beatrice and Galdralag’s new blog, Both Sides Now. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.
Glacking: A Proclamation to the World
A thought experiment:
______
By divine design, it is the responsibility of fathers to glack in their families, in love and righteousness. Mothers are primarily responsible for kribbling.
Fathers are to glack in love and righteousness. Fathers are to provide their families with whatever glacking is necessary. A man who holds the priesthood will glack for his family in Church participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the covenants and ordinances. Fathers should earn the respect and confidence of their children by their loving glacking.
The gift and role of mothers is to kribble for their their children and husbands. Mothers who know desire to kribble. They kribble strong and immovable, with guidance from heaven. Mothers who kribble honor sacred ordinances and covenants; they are leaders, nurturers, and teachers. Kribbling mothers do the work of God.
In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
_____
Since no one seems to know what “preside” means anyway, what if we just dropped it? Makes that the whole “equal partner” thing feel like a whole lot less of a contradiction.
Build Your Own Sacrament Meeting Talk Analogy
Welcome to our new game, Build Your Own Sacrament Meeting Talk Analogy, where we give you the vignette, and you make the analogy. There are no rules, except the regular blogging ones, but the winner gets Kiskilili’s astrally projected soul speaking Ugaritik on their home answering machine or voicemail.
A Modest Proposal
It is a melancholy object to all of us, whether in the heart of Zion or the fringes of the so-called “mission field,” to see how women who dress to flaunt their shapely knees and calves, or who purchase backpacks with only one strap to wear across the chest and make their double-breastedness evident to all, assail the hapless eyes of the red-blooded and vigorous boys and men around them. These pitiable men are captive to the sight of the female body, with its mincing steps and outstretched neck, on which they cannot gaze without losing themselves utterly to a deluge of lustful and wicked transportations.
Indeed, some women dress so as to turn men into walking pornographers.
In a Friggin’ Candy Store!
Husband and I just got assigned to speak and the topic is….
::drumroll::
“Crises of Faith” Read More
How EFY Promotes Immodesty
About a month ago, this comment was posted over at the 100 Hour Board (a BYU-sponsored student Q&A forum):
When I was growing up, my family had very little money and new clothes were rarely in the budget. Read More
A Modest Bit of Data
Over at Doves and Serpents, Heather Olsen Beal recently blogged about a Friend article in which a four year old girl learns the importance of not wearing clothes that show her shoulders. The article was also discussed at fMh, and Heather, Erin Hill, and Chelsea Fife were guests on a Mormon Matters podcast, where they used the article as a jumping off point for discussing how modesty is taught (and could be taught better) in the Church.
In the discussion, following Heather’s post, she raised the question of whether this focus has changed over time, whether the practice of drilling even prepubescent children on modesty of dress is a new thing:
I think the rhetoric we were getting from church leaders and publications 20 years ago was much more sane and reasonable. I feel like it’s gotten ratcheted up to the nth degree. It’s no longer a modest position; it’s extreme.
That modesty is being pushed harder and with more detail now than it used to be is my impression too, but I wondered whether I could find any data that would support or refute this conclusion.
A Post-Pioneer Day Manifesto
Sunday was Pioneer Day, which got me to thinking about our cult of pioneer worship and how, even though we give lip service to the idea that any convert is a “pioneer,” of sorts, I get the impression that many people who don’t have pioneer ancestors (in the traditional sense of the word) don’t feel much of a connection to the holiday.
I propose, therefore, that January 24th (six months after Pioneer Day) be celebrated as Converts’ Day. Read More
You Talkin’ to Me, Mormon?
I’m in favor of modifying the scriptures to give them gender-inclusive language. I’ve always thought that the strongest argument for this is that gender-exclusive language makes them insulting to women. But I recently encountered another argument that I also find quite persuasive: women find it more difficult to read the scriptures as addressing them.
Don’t Google “Mormon”
My ward’s high councilman warned us recently not to Google “Mormon.”
Being a 30-something Single in the Church: Part IX, Dating Advice
I know I still owe the blog the rest of my engagement story, but I wrote this post awhile ago (last year), and I need to wrap up this series since I’m not actually going to be single much longer. In regards to the contents of this post, while I am now engaged, I still think there’s truth to the rant that it contains. Also, I feel like I just got really, really lucky finding my fiance (and that I didn’t find him because I followed anyone’s dating advice).
People who have “succeeded” at getting married often view themselves as experts on dating, especially the type of dating that leads to marriage. Read More
Going ExPat
I hope anyone who reads this can do it with an open, nonjudgmental eye. Like Tirzah has felt in her recent posts, I’m a little nervous to be writing this out since I’m afraid others will react with pity, condemnation, disapproval, fear, or other manifestations of guilt-inducing negativity. I became part of ZD because I needed a place to write my truth since I felt so completely paralyzed to do so in my “real world” life and I knew others felt just like me. So…when you comment, please just give me a little kindness if you can. The only way to ever have a real discussion in this world is with kindness. Plus, this is a straight-faced fact finding mission as well as a confession-post, so I really would like to hear what you know.
A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I decided to accept a position to work for a couple years over in Europe. It’s a testament to how tormented I’ve been these past few years about my church attendance since the first, numero uno, number one “pro” about moving there was, “Won’t have to go to church in a ward…or ever…if I want.”
Mormonism and Eating Disorders, Part III: Thinking About My Religious Beliefs
In commenting, please respect the sensitive nature of this issue. And as is standard for eating disorder recovery discussion, do not use numbers in your comments (weight, calories, etc.)—any such numbers will be edited.
Note: I originally posted this under the name “Tirzah.”
Though my experiences at church have often been painful (as I described in my last post), I do think many LDS teachings have a lot to offer when it comes to countering the demons of eating disorders. I would begin with the most basic idea that we are children of God. Read More
In Defense of Labels
FMH has been having a fun conversation about the meaning of different Mormon labels. I think these kinds of conversations, about categorization and what it means, are definitely worth having. But almost inevitably in any such conversation, a contingent of people will argue that we should abandon labels altogether.
To put it simply: I think this is crazy.
Phone Phobia
I have a smartphone that I love. Last Christmas, I betrayed my sister Elbereth at the last minute (we were planning to both get an iPhone4), and opted for a Nexus S. I morphed into an addict in no time at all; last week I forgot it one day, and found myself ridiculously anxious and unsettled. I spend far too much time on it, using various apps, playing games, reading my email, texting, checking Facebook, and so forth.
The only feature of the phone about which I am ambivalent is the fact that it’s a phone. Because I’m somewhat skittish of phones. Read More