I think it was a podcast host I heard (perhaps John Larsen or John Dehlin—it has been years since I listened to podcasts regularly, so I don’t recall) who used to ask guests a few small questions at the beginning about how devoutly Mormon their upbringing was. He’d ask about a few issues that even quite orthodox Mormons differ on, just to get a sense of their background. I thought it might be interesting to list out a bunch of these, both those that set a higher standard than the commandment, what are often called hedges about the law, and those that lower the standard of the law, what I’m calling relaxations of the law. These hedges and relaxations are ones that I’ve run into at one time or another, either in my own experience, or (mostly) in stories I’ve heard from others.
You’re probably immediately thinking, but it’s not all that clear in many cases what the law is. And of course you’re 100% correct. LDS commandments are sometimes vague, and often a moving target. I’m assuming here that there’s some central actual commandment that the hedges and relaxations are variations around. But we might disagree about what the actual commandment is. And in fact, it might make more sense to just think of what I’m taking about with no reference to an “actual” commandment, and just as a description of the distribution of people’s beliefs about what LDS rules are. This would mesh nicely with Lynnette’s post years ago where she described doctrine as a grammar that we can observe from members rather than a set of propositions that is imposed from the top down.
I wonder if the distribution might vary as you move further away from the Mormon corridor. A few months ago, I was at the Claremont Mormon Studies Conference, and Nancy Ross presented on interviews she had done with Mormon women in Finland as part of the Mormon Women’s Oral History Project. I was struck by how she pointed out that the women she talked to were able to shrug off Church teachings on gender roles, teachings that I, even as a man, saw as quite central to Mormonism, because they went against the ideas about gender roles the women already had as part of their broader culture. Or I’m thinking of Gina Colvin-Ruwhiu’s discussion of her experiences in New Zealand (that I think I heard her discussing on podcasts years ago, but which I don’t have links for), where I’m pretty sure I heard her say something similar about Mormons being able to just ignore some stuff that came out of Salt Lake as nonsense. If Church members far from the Mormon corridor are able to ignore teachings that don’t jive with their experience, I wonder if this might lead to fewer hedges about the law or maybe more relaxations.
A related point is that I wonder when hedges or relaxations are acknowledged as variations from an actual commandment, and when they’re seen as being the actual commandment. It seems like hedges might be easier to acknowledge as hedges than relaxations are. I think it would be easier to justify to yourself that it’s okay to raise the bar of the commandment to keep people safe than it is to acknowledge that you’re lowering the bar. Relaxations might be easier to explain as being the actual commandment. I’m not too committed to any of this, though; I’m just thinking out loud.
And another related point is motivation for hedges and relaxations. Relaxations seem easier to account for. If the commandment feels arbitrary and aversive, maybe people are understanding it as harsher than it needs to be. But why the hedges? In addition to worrying about people getting too close to the edge, there’s also the need to distinguish yourself. Especially in the Mormon corridor, if there are a lot of people around you who believe similar things and follow similar rules, how can you be outstanding? You can hold yourself to a higher standard than is actually required.
Okay, on to the list of hedges and relaxations. I’ve organized them in commandment categories.
Sabbath
On Sunday, is it acceptable to . . .
- Change out of church clothes after church?
- Text or chat with friends on Sunday? Meet in person with friends?
- Play video games? Play board games?
- Watch TV (e.g., sports)? Watch other videos (e.g., streamed video, DVDs)?
- Read non-Church books?
- Study for school?
- Go for a drive on Sunday? Go for a picnic?
- Do typically non-Sunday activities (e.g., parties, sports) very early Sunday morning (e.g., 1am)? Very early Monday morning?
Tithing
Is it acceptable to . . .
- Tithe on net income, after income taxes?
- Tithe on less than net income, deducting for non-discretionary expenses?
- Not tithe on gifts of money?
- Not tithe on scholarships?
- Not tithe on Social Security or similar government payments?
- Pay all your tithing at the end of the quarter? At the end of the year?
Travel
Is it acceptable to . . .
- Travel for vacation on Sunday?
- Skip church if vacationing on Sunday?
- Eat out on Sunday while vacationing?
Word of Wisdom
Is it acceptable to . . .
- Drink caffeinated soft drinks?
- Take caffeine pills?
- Drink decaf coffee?
- Drink non-alcoholic beer?
- Drink coffee if your doctor recommends it?
- Use marijuana if your doctor recommends it?
Media
Is it acceptable to read, watch, or listen to . . .
- Books with magic in them (e.g., Harry Potter)?
- Books that tell of a future different from what’s taught at church (e.g., The Expanse)?
- Books that talk about the Church from a scholarly rather than a devotional perspective?
- Read any non-Church books?
- R-rated movies?
- PG-13-rated movies?
- PG-rated movies?
- Music with profanity in it? Music with pseudo-profanity in it (e.g., darn)? Music with racial or homophobic slurs in it? Movies? Books?
Clothing
Is it acceptable to . . .
- While too young to attend the temple, wear clothes that would not cover garments?
- Leave garments off for a period of time before or after taking them off for bathing, exercising, or sex? How long?
- Modify garments or stop wearing them if they are causing or worsening a medical problem (e.g., yeast infection)?
- Modify garments or stop wearing them if you are a woman who is menstruating, pregnant, post-partum, or breastfeeding?
Fasting
Is it acceptable to . . .
- Drink water while fasting?
- Drink zero calorie soft drinks?
- Skip fasting while sick? While pregnant?
Sex
Is it acceptable to do the following with someone you aren’t married to?
- Hold hands?
- Kiss? Passionately?
- Make out?
- Non-PIV sex?
- Soaking?
I’m sure I’m only scratching the surface of the possibilities, especially when it comes to sex. I’d love to hear of any that you’ve heard of. Also, if I’d be curious to hear of any relationships among the hedges and relaxations. I’ve been struck a few times when hearing that people who I thought were very hedge-leaning in one area turned out to be relaxation-leaning in another. But it general, I think strong hedges in one area correlate with strong hedges in the others.