A Psalm of Trump

Just as God worked in the past through King David in spite of his sexual impropriety, he works in our day through imperfect leaders such as Donald Trump. And just as David wrote many psalms in his remorse and repentance, so also has Donald Trump begun to write psalms. This is his first attempt.

I am my own shepherd; I shall not want.

I lie down in all the greenest pastures, and go by the most tremendous still waters. The very best.

I restore my soul bigly. I grab all the most beautiful women, for the sake of respect. Nobody respects women like I do.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of taxes, I will fear no filing: for carry-forward deductions are with me; my accountants and lawyers they comfort me.

My chef prepareth a table before me in the presence of illegal immigrants: very bad people, criminals, rapists. I say unto my chef, Thou art fired!

Surely wealth and success shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in a huuuuge tower for ever.

13 comments / Add your comment below

  1. oleablossom, thanks!

    Aaron, I would say it contains doctrine, but it hasn’t been accepted yet as canonical. I would put it on the same level as the Family Proclamation.




    0
  2. This line had me howling:
    “I lie down in all the greenest pastures, and go by the most tremendous still waters. The very best.”

    Brilliant, Ziff!




    0
  3. I will probably disappoint most readers on this site by stating that this Psalm did nothing to sway my vote. I will cast my vote for the Psalmist.
    BUT, I have to say, that is the funniest thing I have read all week!




    0

Leave a Reply