Carefully! Carefully with the plates!

I like to think that if J.R.R. Tolkien had been Mormon, he might have written a book about the hassles of getting the Book of Mormon translated. Such a book might have included the following song:

Chip the peepstone and break the plates!
Melt the sealed portion down!
That’s what Joseph Jr. hates—
Wave the sword of Laban around!

Cut the top off of the hat!
Lose page one through 116!
Smash the Urim and Thummim flat!
Refuse to put your farm to lien!

That’s what Joseph Jr. hates—
So, carefully! carefully with the plates!


  1. Perhaps you need to spend your spare time writing up the Salamandrillion (which will of course be the nexus of Mormon lore and nerdiness)

  2. LOL, Maggie! Unfortunately, the reality is that I’m a total Tolkien noob, and I haven’t read the source material for that one. 🙂

  3. Oh my goodness! Ziff, if this is what you create with only a small dose of Tolkien, then I have a lot to look forward to.



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