Nacle Notebook 2025: Funniest Comment

This post is my annual compilation of the funniest comments and parts of post I read on the Bloggernacle in 2025. Most of what I’m quoting is excerpted from longer comments or posts, so I’ve linked to the sources.

In case you haven’t read them yet, here are links to compilations for previous years: 2024 2023 2022 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008.

J. Martinez, in her post “Of Ritas and Rhodas: Deciphering the Origins of the Women’s Temple Names” at Exponent II:

It seems Johnny Lingo might have had it wrong and it wasn’t cows that determined your worth but the number of verses your temple name earned in the scriptures. Suddenly my five verses weren’t looking too shabby.

Bishop Bill, in his post “The Book of ???????” (suggesting alternative names for The Book of Mormon) at W&T:

We need a name that puts Satan in his place, and doesn’t upset God.

Comments on Bishop Bill’s post:

• Dot:

The Book of the Savior, or The Church: Another Testament of Russell M Nelson and David A Bednar, with legal disclaimers by Dallin H Oaks

• aporetic1:

I think that to avoid giving a victory to Satan, we should refer to it as “The Book of He Who Shall Not Be Named.” That should attract converts, right?

• JLM:

How about some Jane Austin inspired titles.

Sense and Nonsense

Pride and Prophesy

Bishop Bill, in his post “Unlearning” at W&T:

The Book of Mormon says that the dark skin of the Lamanites was a curse. Apologists would like you to believe that “skin” does not really mean skin. How well is this change in the meaning of skin going?

Jack Hughes, commenting on Bishop Bill’s post “Caffeine!” at W&T:

These days, I enjoy a mid-morning cup of green tea at work. . . . My bishop doesn’t object, because I don’t tell him; its none of his damn business.

Comments on Ziff’s post “Russell M. Nelson’s Calendar Unleashed!”:

• Mark:

In the future when young men are wrestled into submitting mission papers, the sign of the Bishop’s authority shall be called a Half-Nelson.

• short girl:

Relieved to know that while no man knoweth the hour of the second coming, we can estimate it will be around the sixteenth Nelson.

Janey, in her post “The Cussing Question” at W&T:

My son was griping about having to do something that I wanted him to do. “Why do I have to?” he whined at me. Straight-faced, I replied, “because you’re a son of a b–.” Then I laughed my head off.

Comments on Janey’s post:

• A:

Sometimes, nothing else is appropriate for a situation. . . . And when driving in Utah (or dealing with BYU administrators), swearing is an excellent intermediate step that prevents potential violence.

• Quentin:

Nothing in my life did more to turn me from being a non swearer to an occasional swearer than being the parent of a difficult toddler.

Mary, commenting on jsmff’s post “My Mormon Roman Empire: Church Curriculum and Instructional Design” at BCC:

I also think measuring the learning outcomes of the Proclamation on the Family could become a bit of a PR nightmare depending on the context. For example, is a learning outcome that the married male students list all the ways they preside in their homes over their wives? Is a learning outcome for the married female students a successful pregnancy test?

toddsmithson, commenting on Andrew S.’s post “Institutional liberal Mormonism is dead; long live independent middle way Mormonism” at W&T:

I believed somehow that, the gym I went to was the only one on the planet capable of delivering access to “real health”. Afterall, we had trainers and equipment that was blessed with “authority”, where the other gyms were just “playing health”. This worked right up to the point I went to another gym.

John C., in his post “Committed” at BCC:

I remained committed to the church, but, at present, it feels like the kind of commitment that results in you being confined without sharp utensils.

Sam Brunson, commenting on John C.’s post, responding to another commenter who asked about John’s Word of Wisdom observance:

[I]t’s none of your business, but I suspect John sometimes eats meat in summer and drinks hot chocolate in winter.

LDG, commenting on taylorgkerby’s post “Reflections on Excommunication” at BCC (he begins by quoting another commenter):

I know this is how it usually gets explained as loving and not punitive, but I wonder if that is not just happy talk for the folks who are doing spiritual violence to continue feeling ok about themselves.

This is why I have sworn to myself, should I ever receive a church summons, I will reply with a “revise and resubmit” explaining that I can accept as authoritative no invitation to a Court of Love that doesn’t have the ‘i’s dotted with little hearts.

(LDG’s comment ends with a great little hearts emoji, but for some reason, I can’t get it to display correctly.)

mountainclimber479, commenting on Hawkgrrrl’s post “Churches in a Nutshell” at W&T

[A] lot of Mormons incorrectly believe that eternal marriage is a unique Mormon believe/practice. Certainly the part about needing to be married in a special building with a massive steeple (sometimes the steeple requirement is waived, but waivers can be pretty hard to come by in certain locales) by a special person with special powers is pretty unique to Mormonism.

John Charity Spring, commenting on Bishop Bill’s post “Life On Another Planet?” at W&T:

Any life form intelligent enough to reach earth would immediately destroy us. They would conclude that the vast hordes of Bon Jovi listeners who sit around in sweatpants and crocs are unfit to rule a planet.

So we better say our prayers that we remain undiscovered in our little insignificant corner of the universe. If not, we may be the main ingredient in an alien hot dog eating contest.

Comments on Dave B.’s post “Transparency: You, Your Church, and Your Government” at W&T:

• DaveW:

Best as I can figure, the missionary department plan is to trust that mission presidents won’t do anything too crazy, and the enforcement plan is that every mission has at least one missionary whose mom is married to the nephew of a GA, and if things get too bad, word will get back to the Q15 and eventually the mission president is removed. It’s amazing that this mechanism hasn’t been copied by organizations the world over.

• mat:

All you heard about [working on bids to do work on church properties] was the enigmatic “FM Group.” (I assumed the FM was for facilities management, but who knows, it could have stood for “feral marmots.”)

Abby Maxwell Hansen, in her post “The Temple is Like Sex” at Exponent II:

If we were raised in a culture that allowed for a more spontaneous, private and slow lead up to the first time you had sex, maybe the first time could be awesome for everyone involved. Instead, every person you’ve ever known (included your grandparents, your old primary teachers, your dad’s friends from his office, and your stake president) have had your wedding announcement on their fridge for a month – announcing to the world the date of the first time you’re going the have sex, as well as a picture of who you’re going to do it with!

lastlemming, commenting on Sam Brunson’s post “Tithing Class Action Dismissed” at BCC:

Are the plaintiff’s lawyers unfamiliar with the statute of limitations? Or do they not know how to read a calendar? Or do they think the court doesn’t know how to read a calendar? How was this anything but an attempt to pile bad publicity on the Church in the wake of Huntsman’s suit?

Well, at least now we know that the Church has done business under the name “Deseret Pasta.”

Scott B. and Steve, in their post “Stuff That Sucks About Getting Old, Ranked” at BCC:

[Scott B.]: Remember in the Bible when bad people lost their eyesight? Let’s bring that back. The entire line of succession of the federal government would be immediately unable to see where they keep their meth.

[Steve]: . . . . Yes, divorce is the cure for snoring. And it’s also the cure for wealth. Too much money? Take up snoring. It’s like the respiratory equivalent of the Nephite Pride Cycle.

John Charity Spring, commenting on Bishop Bill’s post “It’s The End of the World as We Know It” at W&T:

The Church managed to function in my youth, when messages were conveyed by non-electronic mail and telephones. Some messages were even transferred by people speaking to each other in person.

Anna, commenting on Hawkgrrrl’s post “Lessons from Pope Francis” at W&T:

[L]etting God have a say that is easier for me to swallow than killing off any other possibility other than the one He wants. It has always really bothered me that our church would rather force God to kill off everyone he doesn’t want than for human leaders be left to make an actual choice. Talk about ducking the responsibility of picking the best leader. What if we did that with other decisions? Say, you are supposed to pick a wife and there are ten possible candidates and you decide to let God pick for you by letting God kill of any girl not right for you.

Jimbo, commenting on jsmff’s post “What would bring you back to church?” at BCC:

The fact that they use bread instead of cinnamon rolls in the sacrament is a clear sign that they are not truly the Lord’s Church and I shall not return until they change it to include cinnamon rolls or at the very least Toll House dough. I expect to wash it down with a chocolate shake. Until then, it is evident the church is utterly apostate and failing in its original commandment as found in D and C 27.

Hawkgrrrl, in her post “The Gutting of Mormon Community” at W&T:

It feels on some level like we are in a Soviet era of architecture, but spiritually.

Janey, in her post “ChatGPT v. The Holy Ghost” at W&T:

Essentially, following the guidance of the Holy Ghost is a divine game of Hot or Cold. . . . Oliver Cowdery played a divine version of this game called Burning or Stupor.

Trevor Holladay, commenting on Bishop Bill’s post “Mormon PTSD” at W&T:

Former member and bishop here. I wouldn’t call mine PTSD per se, more like bouts of anxiety.  . . . I think of the Barbie Movie song “Im just Ken.” In any other church I’d be a ten…

Comments on Dave B.’s post “Eye in the Sky” at W&T:

• Suzanne Neilsen:

I don’t want dead ancestors watching me. Go away now. That includes God, Satan, the Police State, Santa Claus.

• toddsmithson:

Why would the church choose Satan as the speaker [in the endowment ceremony] to get members to comply? That would be like the Q15 sitting around their table discussing the important topics to be covered in GC and discussing who ought to impart the most important message, and President Oaks saying, I know who would be perfect, “Satan”, he’ll get people to pay attention.

Laura, in the BCC roundtable post “What do we think about garments?”:

I mean, what kind of respect do we have for the Savior of the world if we transubstantially make Him (rather than his willingness to sacrifice) the recipient of our every flatulence? No, no, no. I can’t do that. He has suffered enough for me. He doesn’t need to bear my pit stains, too.

Comments on Bishop Bill’s post “Religion vs. Violence” at W&T:

• Trevor Holladay:

Absolutes such as “murder is always wrong” don’t serve the church well, except when they do. . . . Even alcohol is ok if you’re Jesus or before 1920 or something.

• joshua h:

Poor poor Brethren. You know they’d love to blame Laban’s murder on porn and violent video games but there simply isn’t any proof.

Hawkgrrrl, in her post “I See Dead People” at W&T:

Mormons believe that through the sealing process, we will live together forever as families, an idea many find comforting. But how does that work exactly? If you are married, and you have children, do you live with your married children, their married children, their married grandchildren, etc.? Do you live with your parents? Isn’t the entire human race living together in this scenario? And what does “living” mean anyway? Is the afterlife like one big church meeting followed by a Sunday dinner? Are there planetary board meetings? Are we attending classes to learn how to become a God? Is it endless childbirth for women? Are we singing and strumming a harp like other Christian sects portray?

short girl, commenting on Ziff’s post “Mormon Product Ideas” at ZD:

Mormon Standard Time Adjuster – when sending out emails or texts for ward activities, this plug-in auto-adjusts the start time to match each family’s individual MST (eg, if an activity starts at 6:00 PM, and someone habitually shows up 15 minutes late joking about MST, then the invitation will auto adjust to read a 5:45 start time). Admittedly this would now have to be adjust to COHCOLDST, which doesn’t really roll off the tongue.

Hawkgrrrl, commenting on Dave B.’s post “Worthiness Interviews and Questions” at W&T:

[M]y [former bishop] friend’s belief in his ability to discern what was in another soul’s is some serious hubris. There are good reasons people look guilty who are innocent: anxiety, dislike for the bishop, domestic violence issues in the home, a history of trauma, they have IBS or period cramps. Misinterpreting someone’s sweaty brow as guilt when it’s really gastro-intestinal distress is in fact a very real possibility. You might literally be deemed unworthy for politely, yet with difficulty, suppressing a fart.

Comments on Candice Wendt’s post “When Religious Words Become Swear Words” at Exponent II:

• Meghan Decker:

My friends and I use #teamtelestial—we’ve talked about tshirts 🙂

• Alli:

I never would’ve predicted just how strict Mormons would be about not using that word to describe themselves, and how quickly they would judge others who do.

. . . Now I want to say Mormon, Mormon, Mormon! Instead of Marsha, Marsha Marsha!

• Rebecca Bigelow:

Well, since we are confessing…. “What the celestial hell” is often on my lips. Especially when seeing anything from D&C 132 and the like…

Left Field, commenting on jsmff’s post “A Change of Pace is as Good as a (Day of) Rest” at BCC:

Oh yes, sing the right tempo. I’ve quit even trying to sing “Love at Home.” If you don’t start out at tempo, those half-notes at the end go on for hours.

And it’s the hosanna shout, not the hosanna memorandum.

Abby Maxwell Hansen, in her post “Stop Punishing Women When Men Think About Sex” at Exponent II:

When will the general young women’s president speak at a BYU devotional and call men in grey sweatpants “tentacles of the evil one” for entrapping women, as Elder Callister described immodest girls in his talk?

. . . . [W]hen will men’s football games be banned? Those pants are way too tight and leave nothing to the imagination. The dress of a man has a powerful impact on the minds and passions of women, often prompting impure thoughts – even in the mind of a young woman who is striving to be pure.

Heidi Toth, commenting on Abby’s post:

Hell, there’s even a position called tight end! Where else is a female mind supposed to go?!?! /s

Dave B., in his post “Reflections on the Strangely Undefined Holy Ghost” at W&T:

And why don’t we say “feel the Ghost”? I invite you to use that formulation in your next testimony meeting.

Comments on Kristine A’s post “Heavenly MothERS, are you really there?” at W&T:

• Anna [responding to another commenter]:

But there is no way that 47 wives can be equal to one husband. Or is your math REALLY that bad?

• toddsmithson:

It seems juvenile, but saying the reason we know very little about Heavenly Mother is because God hasn’t told us yet is akin to continuing to abuse cocaine because nobody has told me to stop.

Dave B., in his post “Freedom to Be Religiously Obnoxious in the Workplace” at W&T:

Pretend you are a federal employee. How do you respond to or deal with the following scenarios:

• Brother Jones, who works two cubicles down from you, asks you to join the Mormon group in the cafeteria to read a chapter of the Book of Mormon together at lunch.
• Fred, a JW who works across the hall, keeps asking you for details about Mormon doctrine. “I want to find relevant Bible verses on that topic so I can explain to you why your religion is not the correct one. In a friendly manner, of course.”
• Your supervisor tells you your Flying Spaghetti Monster t-shirts are offensive and to stop wearing them.
• Your supervisor tells you your Jedi t-shirt (“My Jedi Force is the correct one, not your Christian Holy Force”) is offensive and to stop wearing it.

Jack Hughes, commenting on Hawkgrrrl’s post “Zero Population?” at W&T:

I know one guy in my stake, a well-off dentist, who bought an unprofitable hobby farm so he could force his kids to do farm chores every weekend. He calls it “building character”, I call it exploitation/unpaid child labor/tax sheltering, but I suppose every family has a different approach.

Hawkgrrrl, commenting on her post “Tool or Weapon?” at W&T (responding to another commenter):

Correction: women don’t need to discuss their underwear with ANYONE, including their husband. Do husbands discuss their underwear with their wives? Who is out there having these underwear discussions? It’s underwear, not an ice-breaker.

Tim, commenting on Hawkgrrrl’s post “Malicious Compliance” at W&T:

My malicious compliance was, when being asked to give a sacrament meeting talk on “Follow the Prophet” a few years ago, to list everything the prophet had asked us to do in the previous 12 months. I reviewed General Conference talks and official First Presidency Statements to prepare.

My bishop in my ultraconservative ward wasn’t particularly happy when I read this list out loud over the pulpit, as it included things like “get vaccinated” and “mask up.”

April Young-Bennett, in her post “Wanna say ‘F___ you,’ but you’re too religious to swear? Try quoting one of these 10 passive-aggressive Bible verses!” at Exponent II:

Latter-day Trolls have developed a simple test to sort the wheat from the tares. They’re wheat, and anyone who disagrees with them is a tare, just like it says in the parable they haven’t read.

AdamL, commenting on Dave B.’s post “New First Presidency: Oaks, Eyring, and Christofferson” at W&T:

[P]erhaps the church could borrow from the Skeksis in Dark Crystal and have succession be determined by a trial of strength? Whoever can chop a log (fastest or at all) becomes president. From my cynical side: the church is so obsessed with amassing riches they could televise the trial by strength via pay-per-view.

Comments on Bishop Bill’s post “Moral Agency” at W&T:

• JB:

If Bednar had simply restricted himself to saying “You can choose your actions but you can’t choose your consequences,” I think we all would’ve just nodded along and gotten on with our lives. But his weird attempt to redefine “agency” sounds like a chatbot confidently stating pure nonsense as fact.

• Faith:

After so many doubters along the way, David Bednar has found believers…… in the Bronx. ??? You mean the whole world? Oops. Wrong one. David A. Bednar, not David J. Bednar. That is why the GA’s need us to use the middle initial.

mountainclimber479, commenting on Carol Brown’s post “The Value of Emeritus Status for Top LDS Leaders Today” at W&T:

[I]f God were truly [directly] involved in issuing the calls to the Q15 in the first place, I would expect . . . more people like Joseph Smith to be called. In other words, I would expect people to be called from all countries of the world, some with very little education (like Joseph Smith), some very young (again, like Joseph Smith) and some older, some wealthy and some poor (again, like Joseph Smith), occasionally someone with a law or business background/degree, but more often than not, probably people from other professions (because there *are* other professions, like farming, or, um, I guess treasure digging, you know, again like Joseph Smith)

Jack Hughes, commenting on Janey’s post “Halloween as a Community Activity” at W&T:

When I was growing up (1980s, not Utah) there was some residual panic about candy being laced with razor blades or drugs or poison or whatever (though not one confirmed case of such) so for several years my parents only let me trick-or-treat at houses of families we knew, such as ward members. . . . Eventually . . . we just went through our block like normal kids did. Even so, we still had to turn in our candy haul at the end of the night to our parents to be “inspected”. Years later, as a parent myself, I discovered “candy inspection” was a perfect ruse to comb through and pick out my favorite candy bars and keep them for myself, because I’m certain that’s what my parents did. You know, for safety reasons.

Comments on Bishop Bill’s post “Do Mormons Have Style?” at W&T:

• Hawkgrrrl:

They can pry “free agency” out of my cold, dead hands. Which is apparently the plan.

• mat:

I thought it was “by your fruits they shall know you,” not by “your style guide they shall know you.”

Andrew S., commenting on his post “What do Latter-day Saints believe in these latter days?” at W&T:

I ABSOLUTELY was taught to test spirits by shaking hands. I haven’t run into any spirits in my life, but if I ever do, they will CATCH THESE HANDS

Poincare, commenting on RJH’s post “Against the multiverse hypothesis” at BCC:

Actual experiments done with actual monkeys have shown them far more capable of generating coherent opinion pieces than the Deseret News on time scales of around fifteen minutes.

Cynthia L., commenting on Sam Brunson’s post “Bad Bunny, the Super Bowl, and the Deseret News” at BCC:

I can’t be the only one who heard “Sweet dreams are made of cheese” in the Eurithmyics’ early 80s hit.

A Turtle Named Mack, commenting on Laura’s post “Jack Mormons vs Middle-Way Mormons” at BCC:

When I was a kid my father told me there was such a thing as a Jackalope. I then, shortly after, heard him refer to one of our neighbors as a Jack Mormon. So for a while I thought Jack Mormons were Mormons with horns. It’s an image that still pops into my head when I hear the term.

vajra2, commenting on Todd Smithson’s post “The Two Paths to Integrity” at W&T (responding to another commenter explaining the Word of Wisdom as protection for the few who might get addicted):

I, myself, am addicted to daily showers. This addiction is so strong that I have found myself on occasion showering more than once a day. There are some people whose skin is made dry and coarse by this habit. I will be deeply grateful if for the sake of the most fragile in our community, we all forego this dangerously addictive behavior.

John Charity Spring, commenting on Bishop Bill’s post “Staying Healthy” at W&T:

I issue my strongest possible condemnation to the inconsistencies of the Word of Wisdom. One must avoid tea, but will be just fine under the rules if one consumes bucketfuls of Irish nachos and Big Gulps. The proliferation of Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens on the Wasatch Front is a sign of utter hypocrisy.

chrisdrobison, commenting on Dave B.’s post “The Church’s New AI Policy” at W&T:

I’ve used AI to do research and it is quite good at searching tons of sources and then compiling a very digestible report for me to read. It’s also really good at helping me organize thoughts or challenge me in a way I didn’t think of before. I can’t say I’ve ever had any remotely fruitful, consistent response from God in my prayer practices over the years. If the church says we shouldn’t use AI as a replacement for relationship with God, then shouldn’t God actually show a little more interest than he currently does?

Hawkgrrrl, in her post “Believing vs. Defending” at W&T:

My first thought regarding how polygamy came about is that Joseph Smith asking God about it while reading about Old Testament figures with multiple wives was “THAT’s what you took from that story? Sounds like someone is thinking with the wrong head.”

Dave B., in his post “Autonomous Driving Units” at W&T:

I’d probably rather visit the temple recommend kiosk and hit the “Yes” button 14 times than visit with my bishop. It could even have you stick your arm in a blood pressure and heartbeat cuff to monitor your responses. “Your biometrics spiked when answering the last question. Would you like to reconsider your response?”

Last Lemming, commenting on Sam Brunson’s post “A Church Stocking Stuffer Wishlist” at BCC (responding to another commenter who wished for the closing hymn of sacrament meeting not to be reduced to one verse when the speakers ran long):

Unless the closing song is “I Believe in Christ” in which case, the first half of the first verse will suffice.

Uzset, commenting on Laura’s post “How Are The New Garments?” at BCC:

But every now and then I imagine, what if the church actually was the corporate profit maximizing monster antis accuse it of being?

Selling a license to produce to other brands? Monthly underwear subscription box with new styles? Tailor fit measured to order bespoke production? High end offerings?