Temple Ratings on Google Maps, Part 2

Last week, I put up a post where I looked at ratings of LDS temples on Google Maps. This is a follow-up where I’m going to talk about what I read in the reviews of temples.

I looked at the same population of temples that I did in the previous post: the 168 that have been dedicated. For each, I read some of the reviews. I didn’t read all the reviews because (1) especially for the most-reviewed temples, there are a lot, and (2) many of them are pretty much the same. There are tons and tons of five-star ratings with people saying how wonderful and beautiful and peaceful the temple is, whichever temple it is. What I did is to first sort the reviews by “most relevant” and read the first 10-20, and then sort them again by “lowest rating” and read at least all the one- and two-star reviews. I chose “most relevant” because I figure Google’s algorithm for choosing these is likely to choose reviews that stand out in one way or another. I chose “lowest rating,” as you can probably guess, because it’s the five-star reviews that are the most homogeneous, and the low reviews that are most likely to say something unique (or funny!) Every unhappy temple reviewer is unhappy in their own way.

I’ll start with some general trends I noticed across reviews, and then finish by quoting some interesting and fun reviews.

One interesting trend is that reviewers clearly disagree about who they’re writing a review for. A subset is clearly writing a review for a Mormon audience. They’ll mention all kinds of operational details about the temple, like how to find the baptistry, or they’ll give answers to questions like whether the temple requires that you make an appointment in advance, or rents clothes, or has a cafeteria or patron housing. A larger set of reviewers is writing for a non-Mormon audience. They’ll explain how you need a recommend to get in, or talk about proxy ordinances or Mormon doctrine more generally. Most often, they’ll just say how the temple is the most wonderful place in the world, and how peaceful they feel when they go there. I see this as being aimed at non-Mormons even if it’s quite vague, because Mormons already know that Mormons love to go to the temple (or at least, are supposed to love to go to the temple).

A related difference among reviewers is what they’re comparing a temple against. The reviewers who give five stars and rhapsodize about the temple appear to be comparing it against the rest of the places they go. A small number of reviewers actually compare the temple they’re reviewing against other temples, saying that it’s easier to get through than another temple because it’s bigger or smaller, or that it’s prettier or uglier than another temple.

As you can probably already sense, reviewers also seem to disagree about exactly what it is they’re reviewing. Like I said before, a few Mormon reviewers comment on the nuts and bolts of the temple experience, and are clearly reviewing the temple itself. This is true sometimes of non-Mormon reviewers too, who will comment on particular aspects of the temple, like presence of visitors center, Christmas lights, too-bright lights at night or traffic around it. The large majority of reviewers, though, seem like they’re implicitly reviewing the Church as a whole rather than this particular temple. They’ll say how wonderful it is to know that families can be together forever, for example. Reviewers who give low ratings are also often reviewing the Church. They’ll say it’s a cult, or temples are a scam, or the Church is wrong to demand tithing of its members.

This is unrelated to other patterns, but there are a small number of reviewers who give one star but then say very positive things, which leads me to believe they’ve gotten mixed up about which end of the rating scale is positive (“We’re number one!”). I’m sure this happens for all kinds of reviews on Google Maps, and not just for temples.

It’s uncommon, but I think it’s great when reviewers discuss how it’s easiest to travel to the temple, particularly when they mention public transportation. This seems like it would be useful information for both Mormons and non-Mormons. A little more often, reviewers will praise a temple’s “ample parking,” even for temples in suburban locations where parking isn’t an issue. Occasionally a temple has underground parking (I think Philadelphia and Provo City Center and some others) and I think it’s nice when reviewers note this.

A surprising number of reviewers who are writing to a non-Mormon audience explain that anyone can come and walk the grounds of a temple. I wonder if this is something that non-Mormons ever actually do, or if it’s just a thing that we Mormons like to imagine they do.

One last pattern that makes me laugh in light of President Nelson’s push for people to use the Church’s full name is that we all clearly need more practice, as I swear more people write the name as ending with “Latter Day Saints” than “Latter-day Saints.” Say what you will about “Mormon,” but it’s a heck of a lot easier to write without errors.

Here are some quotes from reviews that I thought were funny or interesting. Note that I’m often just pulling out part of a review rather than the whole thing. I’ve put quotes in italics when they were translated from another language by Google Translate so you’ll know who to blame for any odd wording.

Temple	Review quote	Rating	My comment
Albuquerque New Mexico	Got married here, attended for 18 years. If you want . . . fake salvation, come here! Oh and the grass is thick, spiky, death by 1000 punctures type.	☆	I love the combination of the big complaint about the Church being false and the mundane complaint about the grass.
Bogotá Colombia	The bathrooms are outdated and there are crucifixes everywhere, that scares me a lot. People speak in Hebrew and it is not understood.	☆☆	I’m not sure if this person is reviewing the wrong place or trolling.
Bogotá Colombia	I did not like that there was no jaccuzi, and the pizzas are served cold, there is not much variety on the menu and everything is boring	☆☆	This one must be trolling. Right? I think?
Boise Idaho	One of the uglier temples. Looks like a regular house with a large spike in the front.	☆
Boston Massachusetts	A quiet place away from the cares of the world and what not. The local library is a true quiet place and they don’t require a recommend…okay maybe they do, but the library doesn’t require your money to check out books…okay maybe they do, for a membership, in some libraries	☆
Bountiful Utah	This is a very pretty building, but isn’t it a bit weird to give this place a rating? I only rated it so that I could comment. If you’re Mormon, are you really gonna rate this as a one star Temple? And if you’re not Mormon, how can you possibly rate a location you can’t go inside of?	☆☆☆	I think this is a great summary of the problem of rating temples on Google Maps to begin with.
Brigham City Utah	Better than Provo, not as good as Manti.	☆☆☆	I appreciate that this is a rare reviewer who just openly compares temples, rather than saying they’re all wonderful.
Brigham City Utah	The temple is beautiful but Brigham City, UT is the worst place to live in because every day/night police nd ambulance sirens go off nd it gets really freaken annoying I know they are doing there job but really gets annoying wen the go off at 12 am to 5 am.	☆☆	I love how this turns into a review of the town. So would the same temple if moved to a different town rate any differently?
Brisbane Australia	Jesus is alive here, and good works. (Menu needs work, sandwiches small for the money)	☆☆☆☆☆
Brisbane Australia	Thoroughly enjoyed the free underground parking. Was really easy to find my way back from the city just look for the golden statue.	☆☆☆☆	At least the parking was useful!
Buenos Aires Argentina	Very gaudy structure	☆
Calgary Alberta	This temple is an absolute eyesore. . . . they light it up like a Christmas tree at night and the light pollution disturbs my sleep. It’s a pokemon gym though, so that’s cool.	☆
Caracas Venezuela	Place for meetings of the mentally insane.	☆
Cardston Alberta	Definitely an “older” temple. The woodwork and murals are amazing. . . . I could see a remodel coming someday	☆☆☆☆☆	They gave five stars, but it doesn’t sound like their heart was in it.
Cebu City Philippines	there is no god	☆	Alrighty then.
Cebu City Philippines	Very US style church and grounds and feels like your steping outside the Philippines. Grounds are immaculate but very sterile.	☆☆☆
Cochabamba Bolivia	Adam Smith’s big house in Cochabamba		Adam Smith’s? Recognized by its invisible hand? (When I went back to get the star rating, this review had been deleted.)
Cochabamba Bolivia	We all know	☆☆☆	What? What do we all know?
Cordoba Argentina	It’s the place that brings me such a beautiful peace that I can’t explain with words	☆☆☆	Indescribable, but only three stars?
Curitiba Brazil	I could not talk to the secretary due to the lack of preparation, lack of education and cordiality of two clowns who are answering the telephone, should not work in a church, but in the circus.	☆
Dallas Texas	I was visiting from Wisconsin and being a member of the church decided to check this place out. . . . I called ahead to ask if I could walk around the building on Saturday and was told that was ok . . . I came and to my surprise the place was gated! As a member, I am disappointed to give a one star because the temple worker lied to me.	☆	It’s unusual for a member to complain about a temple at all, but this seems like a bit much to me. One star because the gates were closed?
Denver Colorado	Pompous waste of electricity	☆
Durban South Africa	Small and exquisite temple on the top of a hill just outside Durban. The building blends well with the surrounding area and is an example of the quality and beauty of these temples which can be found all over the world.	☆☆☆☆☆	Super positive coming from a non-Mormon. (Membership status is made clear by the rest of the review.)
Fort Collins Colorado	The people of this religion are so nice, but they’re following a cult and it breaks my heart.	☆	At least we’re nice!
Fort Collins Colorado	What a showing of opulence and decadence. Truly a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. The flowers were pretty	☆	The juxtaposition of Sodom and Gomorrah with pretty flowers made me laugh!
Fort Collins Colorado	Couldn’t go inside. 🙁 The outside is dope though.	☆☆☆	Some of the GAs are not going to be happy to hear that a temple was described as “dope”!
Frankfurt Germany	Hypocrites like the Vatican!	☆	We’re in the big leagues now if we’re being compared to the Catholics!
Freiberg Germany	Love this place. Best church on Earth. I really feel closer to God here serving others. . . . I would join this church if I weren’t already a member.	☆☆☆☆☆	A great example of someone reviewing the Church. Also, I love the overstatement.
Fresno California	I don’t know why this Mormon church comes up when searching “synagogue.”	☆	So they’re reviewing Google Maps?
Gilbert Arizona	Been to quite a few Mormon temples, Salt lake city one is spectacular, San Diego one is beautiful, Oakland one is refinement, Portland or Idaho are grabbing my eyes, but this one is slightly disappointed me.	☆☆☆
Gilbert Arizona	Cool-looking building with a hawk that lives on the spire, near the feet of angel Moroni. They would not let me in- 5 stars if they did.	☆☆☆☆
Gilbert Arizona	beautifully maintained grounds and landscaping. i’m an atheist but their succulents are spectacular.	☆☆☆☆	“Spectacular succulents save suspicious skeptics.” –Neal A. Maxwell (probably)
Hamilton New Zealand	It is an extremely opulent expensive shiny golden glowing symbol of everything Jesus Christ was NOT about.	☆	Great use of adjectives!
Hartford Connecticut	As temples go, it’s pretty templey.	☆☆☆☆	Hard to argue with this!
Helsinki Finland	. . . a plastic Disney church!	☆☆
Hong Kong China	Very poor ventilation	☆	A truly unique complaint, and on point for a time of COVID.
Houston Texas	Pretty, but as LDS temples go, kind of generic.	☆☆☆	And this isn’t even one of the Hinckley-era cookie cutter ones!
Houston Texas	They baptize the dead in the temple’s	☆	Someone’s going to be mighty disappointed by proxy work if they ever go inside.
Houston Texas	If alive, you’ll need a recommend from your bishop to get in. If dead, you will be served without question.	☆☆☆☆☆
Houston Texas	It’s a temple, and that’s great, but there are issues. First, unless you live north or northwest of Houston, it is a bear to get to. . . . Also, the lockers are really skinny. Plus, it isn’t as pretty as DC.	☆☆☆	Not skinny lockers! The horror! Actually, I appreciate this rare comparison to other temples.
Idaho Falls Idaho	Nice folks, super excited about their religion. Super silly beliefs	☆☆
Idaho Falls Idaho	Using Masonic rituals in the temple, is not a teaching of Joseph Smith, Jr.	☆	I hate to break it to you . . .
Jordan River Utah	Act like Christians, but drive like heathens.	☆	Guilty!
Kansas City Missouri	A very ostentatious building, constantly illuminated by flood lights and surrounded by gardens full of non native plants. Also, please fix your sprinklers, your water was running right into the storm drain.	☆
Kansas City Missouri	I like it.	☆☆☆☆	I appreciate how low key this is, especially amid all the five-star hyperbole.
Kyiv Ukraine	The building is beautiful, but the Mormons are an American totalitarian sect whose teachings have nothing to do with either Protestantism or Christianity in general.	☆	The reference to the Church as being American made me think of Dave B.’s recent post at W&T where he asked whether people still see it that way.
Laie Hawaii	The girls who identified themselves as “sisters” and “missionaries”, were very kind and sweet. The whole experience did feel a little cultist though.	☆☆☆☆
Las Vegas Nevada	Beautiful Building. The location is not great however. Must have been placed there by the same dumb Mormon who placed the Edmonton Temple. I am entitled to an Opinion because I am not a Mormon. I can also say Mormon because I am not a Mormon	☆☆☆☆☆
Lima Peru	It has parking spaces that resentful taxi drivers use to hinder traffic . . .	☆☆☆	A unique complaint!
Lisbon Portugal	Fake localized	☆	So it’s trying too hard to fit in?
Logan Utah	The drive to Logan is just… It’s too far.	☆☆☆	I love the reviewer’s assumption that everyone lives somewhere else that’s not Logan, I guess.
Logan Utah	The outside is spectacular but the inside is kinda …. Old. Nothing is white in the celestial room! They are all yellow/beige or off white.	☆☆☆	It’s extremely rare to get a review of a celestial room!
London England	Depends if Mormon. Impressive buildings but religious cult	☆
London England	I love going there	☆☆☆	So love, but just three stars’ worth?
Los Angeles California	Boring cult.	☆	C’mon, we can’t even be an interesting cult? Is Scientology too close by and we suffer by comparison?
Los Angeles California	Pretty neat, but false Gospel.	☆☆☆☆	. . . but four stars!
Lubbock Texas	I give aall LDS Temples 5 stars!	☆☆☆☆☆	You and everyone else.
Madrid Spain	The most perfect, sectarian, obscurantist garbage of Spain and the World	☆
Madrid Spain	I adore Satan	☆
Manila Philippines	Waiting room needs better AC (uncomfortably warm/hot). Dressing room too small. Only accessible bathroom is in waiting area. Once you’re inside (past receptionist desk)….no accessible bathrooms.	☆☆☆☆	A rare actually useful critique! I hope some powers that be at the temple can fix this, but I’m not holding my breath.
Medford Oregon	Such a secret place. Just by walking the ground you can feel the reality of how eternal things are for us	☆☆☆☆☆	Uh-oh! Someone got mixed up with all the “sacred not secret” talk, and ended up with the wrong one!
Mérida Mexico	It is well stocked	☆☆☆☆	With what, I wonder.
Mexico City Mexico	To hell with the elders	☆	I think we all want to say this at one time or another.
Mexico City Mexico	Overbearing people with little education	☆
Montevideo Uruguay	They cut the grass every day and this is very annoying for the neighbors	☆
Montevideo Uruguay	Please do not follow sects. Thank you	☆	So polite!
Mount Timpanogos Utah	I just had one of the worst experiences of my life at this temple. . . . I won’t go back to this temple. I am glad there are so many to choose from close by!	☆☆	This person is just reveling in their Utah County temple privilege!
Mount Timpanogos Utah	It’s ugly. You might say it was designed by God, but it wasn’t. It’s a clone of other ugly 90s temples. It’s a stack of blocks. The stained glass is interesting, but the exterior shape is blocky and uninspiring. It looks more like a Doterra headquarters than a temple, let’s be real.	☆☆☆
Nashville Tennessee	It look nice with the white stone, but the a/c unit was an eye sore. It would be five stars if they can somehow hide the air unit.	☆☆☆☆	I love the specificity of this critique.
Nauvoo Illinois	These people are wolves in anti-christ clothing.	☆	Doesn’t “anti-Christ clothing” kind of ruin the analogy?
Nauvoo Illinois	Well made but it feels out of place architecturally. The people are nice but also sort of strange.	☆☆	This makes me wonder if this original didn’t also stand out pretty dramatically from the surrounding city.
Oakland California	Anyone can go inside the temple to experience and feel the out of this world, dare I say celestial, sacredness of the rooms and rituals once they hear about the basic doctrines and commandments from the missionaries that are on site.	☆☆☆☆☆	I feel like this is just a bit misleading about how long and involved the process is.
Oakland California	This massive eyesore in the Lincoln Highlands looks like it belongs on the Vegas strip.	☆	Great idea! Can we name it the Las Vegas Strip Temple?
Oakland California	Nice looking building, but I came here to worship Heavenly Mother and they were all “Heavenly Father had instructed us not to worship Heavenly Mother.” And I was all like “Yeah, and what did Heavenly Mother say about that? Did you even ask? Did you even ask? Because I did, and she told me not to worship Heavenly Father. So who you gonna believe?” Then they started in on “Jesus this and Jesus that”. I told them, “Talk to the holy hand,” and held my hand up to their faces and they took a step back. There was an awkward pause for a full minute where neither side knew what to say next. Missionary training did not prepare these devout devotees for encountering a prophetess in the flesh. “Boo!” I said finally, raising my arms over my head. They ran. I shrugged and walked away.	☆☆	Great story! Sounds unlikely, but a fun read!
Oakland California	Never been looks like a disney castle. LET IT GO	☆☆☆☆	So that’s one vote for Las Vegas and one for Disneyland?
Oaxaca Mexico	Just because I like the design of the building, I don’t share your beliefs	☆☆☆
Ogden Utah	Most expensive escape room ever.	☆	The joke about the temple being a boring movie theater in a number of reviews feels old to me, but this one made me smile.
Ogden Utah	Joseph smith . . . was only here to plunder gold and land from the native peoples, while using his newly created mormon religion to control a vast number of people to do his bidding while gaining strength and prosperity for the church. They looted several “abandoned” mines left by the spanish and soon spread out over the vast utah plains, mountains, canyons, and valleys in search of treasures deemed “cursed” by the indigenous and ripe for the taking. Having already been in the process of mining the gold when they “left” the spanish had left processed ore and even ingots of 99% pure gold. So thats how the mormon church rose to power . . .	☆	Wow! I feel like I’ve heard a lot of strange Mormon origin theories, but I’ve never heard this one!
Ogden Utah	Jesus cage	☆	Like he’s trapped in there? Someone pass him the cat o’ nine tails and he’ll cleanse his way out!
Ogden Utah	I’m not Mormon, but Moroni is a Pokestop… Kind of cool.	☆☆☆
Ogden Utah	Beautiful but small capacity	☆☆☆☆	Ogden is small? All 112,000 square feet of it?
Oquirrh Mountain Utah	I can’t believe Google let’s you rate the temple. Yes, I highly ‘recommend’ you go there. But talk to your bishop first.	☆☆☆☆☆	A dad joke! I love it!
Panama City Panama	Not bad it’s cute	☆☆☆☆	I’m going to guess that this isn’t the reaction the architects were hoping to get.
Paris France	A sect that considers Jehovah as god, like jehova’s witnesses. . . . The religion of Lucifer.	☆	Fair point, I think, that we’re similar in not believing in the Trinity.
Paris France	place of absolute serenity. Very beautiful garden and superb architecture of the temple	☆☆☆	I wonder what would be required for a place to get four stars.
Payson Utah	I can’t get them to turn off any lights around their property and it keeps me up all night.	☆	This does sound annoying.
Philadelphia Pennsylvania	No frogs were supplied to cure my physical ailments	☆	Um, okay?
Philadelphia Pennsylvania	I was always fascinated by the little Bugle Boy on the top of the temples highest steeple. It looks like he is blowing his trumpet right at William Penn.	☆☆☆☆	That’s Angel Bugle Boy to you!
Phoenix Arizona	it was required to wear shoe covers, during the [open house] visit. My brother, who is in a wheelchair, could clearly not benefit from shoe covers. The congregation workers actually cleaned the wheels of his wheelchair very carefully, and had him drive across a sticky pad, to be sure the wheels were clean. it was so respectfully done, it was very touching.	☆☆☆☆☆	I actually like this quite a bit.
Portland Oregon	The ultimate rameumptom.	☆
Preston England	This cost £25 million to build. Wow. . . . And all built on the made-up words of Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery.	☆☆☆☆	But still four stars?
Provo City Center	This is my favorite temple of the 2 in the city of Provo.	☆☆☆☆☆	But not as good as Payson or Mount Timp?
Provo City Center	The building is very nice but that doesn’t mean the religion isn’t odd.	☆
Provo City Center	I just wanted to be the only 2 star. 20/20 is a temple	☆☆	Stop messing with the data!!
Provo City Center	the angel atop the building is disproportionately large (think about it next time you look!)	☆☆☆☆	Maybe the Church got a 12-pack at Costco and didn’t want to waste one.
Provo Utah	. . . this place was built in 70s style and it shows.	☆☆☆☆
Provo Utah	. . . let’s be honest it’s not the prettiest of temples	☆☆☆☆	Poor Provo! Maybe it needs an Ogden-like makeover!
Quetzaltenango Guatemala	It is a magnificent place not only for its beauty but for the ordinances that are held there	☆☆☆	This is a very typical review, but only three stars with that praise?
Raleigh North Carolina	Pretty building, wacky religion.	☆
Recife Brazil	A beautiful Building . . . Definitely eye candy for photographers looking for great sights in the country.	☆☆☆☆☆	Eye candy? Whosoever looketh upon a temple to lust after it hath taken photos of it already in his heart!
Regina Saskatchewan	Prices fairly reasonable. They will do price matching!	☆☆☆☆☆	Mixed up or trolling?
Reno Nevada	Provides nothing to the community except traffic.	☆
Reno Nevada	I’m not a Mormon but Mormons are cool	☆☆☆
Rexburg Idaho	Great place for a wedding. The only downside is that there’s usually a speed trap nearby.	☆☆☆☆☆	Now that’s a useful review, for Mormon and non-Mormon alike!
Rexburg Idaho	Large religious bias and influence here.	☆	At a temple? You don’t say!
Rome Italy	how could the City of Rome approve such a megalithic architectural disgrace? The fact that in Italy there is rightly freedom of worship and that we must allow for a space to practice it, does not mean that it must let it build without a minimum respect for the landscape and the architectural style of the host country	☆	I hope “megalithic architectural disgrace” sounds as cool in Italian as it does in English.
Rome Italy	Personally I did not perceive the breath of God, which we find instead in the Catholic Churches, but only the cold of the marble works and the glitzy appearance.	☆	I like how this precisely mirrors all the stories Mormons tell of touring cathedrals in Europe and not feeling the Spirit because they’re false.
Rome Italy	A temple .. more like a luxury kitch hotel	☆
Rome Italy	The structure is monumental on the outside, with extremely well kept gardens in the smallest details. Inside . . . [e]verything is done flawlessly and with an exaggerated level of cleanliness.	☆☆☆	Exaggerated cleanliness is a unique critique!
Rome Italy	too gorgeous for a place of worship	☆☆☆	You’re saying this in Italy?
Sacramento California	Temple prep was inadequate. Key details were left out and the ceremonies really freaked me out.		I feel really bad for this person because this seems like a common experience. Also, I think it’s awful that when I went back to get the star rating, this review, which was far more reasonable than some others, had been taken down.
Salt Lake	Come for the gardens, leave for the kooky evangelicalism.	☆
Salt Lake	It is undeniably beautiful . . . However, the very air is heavy with heresy.	☆	Too bad Bruce R. McConkie isn’t here to read the second line, because he would love it, even if he would also want to apply it to a different place.
Salt Lake	If you’re coming to Utah as a tourist . . . stay away from Salt Lake City and it’s Bazaar Infrastructur.	☆	I love the mental image of Salt Lake being just packed with bazaars.
Salt Lake	Beautiful cult building.	☆☆☆	Thank you?
Salt Lake	most of the tours will feel mostly like talking to an aggressive salesman that had to sign too many NDAs.	☆☆☆
Salt Lake	The Temple was built by the successor to the Mormon prophete, Brigham Jones	☆☆☆☆
San Diego California	Large angular, private building.	☆	I think you misspelled “angelic.”
San Diego California	this place looks pretty cool from I-5. Looks like something from Lord of the Rings	☆☆☆☆
Santiago Chile	Very beautiful place …… unfortunately those who visit it are tyrants or they think they are a super race	☆☆☆
Santo Domingo Dominican Republic	Secret place	☆☆☆☆	Another sacred/secret mix-up!
São Paulo Brazil	This is a MORMON church. They hide the fact and do not write the word Mormonism anywhere, so that people think it is an evangelical church.	☆
Sapporo Japan	Not Christian. Another religion with a Christian shell.	☆
Seattle Washington	Angel Moroni is facing WEST. This question came up and I was told during the Tri-Cities temple tour by a high end greeter (many years ago) that “they all face east”. Get your knowledge right if your going to be sharing it with hundreds of people!	☆☆☆☆	So this is a review of a greeter at the open house of another temple. Got it.
Seattle Washington	the church wasn’t to welcoming and they waist too much space on useless parking	☆☆	An interesting counterpoint to all the people who praise temples for having lots of parking.
Seattle Washington	It’s nice but a total cult	☆☆☆☆	Partial cults rate only two stars.
Snowflake Arizona	The drive up the hill was fun to see the mansions and large beautiful homes that have been added to this area after the temple was built. A great place to eat is just next door to the neighboring Country Club.	☆☆☆☆☆	It sounds like this reviewer really loves the prosperity gospel.
Spokane Washington	I liked the temple because you don’t have to walk a lot between the sessions. All sessions are held on the floor.	☆☆☆☆☆	As opposed to on the ceiling?
St. George	Under renovations. . . . Construction equipment and green fences surround the temple and permanently sit on temple property. Underwhelming sight, not at all as expected.	☆☆	How dare they not keep the temple all pretty during renovations?
St. George	I felt uncomfortable because the Mormon Sisters and Brothers are omnipresent during the whole visit	☆☆☆	Said every visitor to a Church history site ever.
St. Paul Minnesota	The Spirit is strong and after you finish doing a sacrament for someone you know or don’t know	☆☆☆☆☆	I actually really like how unconventional “doing a sacrament for someone” sounds.
St. Paul Minnesota	Wonderful VERY LITTLE temple	☆☆☆☆☆	Judge me by my size, do you?
Sydney Australia	I do not believe in worshipping fictional characters but the Easter lights here have always looked really good.	☆☆☆
Taipei Taiwan	Gaudy looking mormon church, looks out of place amongst the Taipei architecture.	☆
Taipei Taiwan	I’ve never been in such a small temple. I loved it. . . . I was impressed with the sincerity and helpfulness of everyone	☆☆☆☆☆	A few reviewers complain about smaller temples, so I’m glad that sometimes they like them too.
The Hague Netherlands	I only had to go there because I was cycling with my sister Moest	☆☆☆	Sisters will lead you astray every time!
Tijuana Mexico	Make sure you double check the worship schedule because it is different than those in America.	☆☆☆☆☆	Yes, in the US, all temples have a single consistent schedule.
Tijuana Mexico	Beautiful place to visit, def not my cup of tea	☆☆	How dare you? It’s nobody’s cup of tea!
Tokyo Japan	so damn bad	☆
Toronto Ontario	Only members with VALID temple recommends may enter beyond recommend desk.	☆☆☆☆☆	So is there a big issue with people using fake temple recommends to try to get in?
Toronto Ontario	Surrounded by natural beauty	☆☆☆	Now that’s damning with faint praise!
Trujillo Peru	A beautiful place, but NOT FOR CHRIST. It is blasphemous and even satanic.	☆
Tucson Arizona	I wasn’t allowed inside but the garden area was really pretty. I had the use the restroom and let me use that so not bad, very pretty bathroom area!!	☆☆☆	A pretty bathroom? Now that’s saying something!
Tucson Arizona	Norman stuff	☆☆☆	Very historic. Dates from the invasion of England.
Tuxtla Gutiérrez Mexico	They say stupid things in that place	☆
Vernal Utah	I like the quaint old timey feel to this building.	☆☆☆☆	I like this description.
Washington D.C.	Extremely underwhelming light display. Waited almost 2 hours to see a couple of trees lit up. Will be sticking to Islam	☆	For want of a better light display, a convert was lost!
Washington D.C.	Cool architecture, but it’s a cult so I can’t encourage them to build more.	☆☆☆
Winter Quarters Nebraska	Awesome historical visiting center. If I wasn’t an Atheist, I’d be giving it a full 5 for 5.	☆☆☆