Book of Mormon Stories that Get a Chuckle Out of Me

I suspect I’m not alone in generally thinking the Book of Mormon isn’t particularly funny. But I must admit that there are a few passages that usually make me chuckle.

• In Mosiah 11, Abinadi has to flee for his life after condemning the wickedness of King Noah and his people. At the beginning of the next chapter, he returns in disguise, and the first words out of his mouth are: “Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying—Abinadi . . .” So he had carefully put together his disguise so he could sneak in among Noah’s people without being recognized, and then in just one line, he blows it all. I imagine him saying that and then thinking D’oh! Should’ve used a pseudonym!

• Near the end of Alma 30, Korihor seeks for a sign and is struck dumb. In the very next verse, the chief judge, who has witnessed the exchange between Alma and Korihor, wants to communicate with Korihor, so he “put forth his hand and wrote unto Korihor.” So, uh, did he not realize that Korihor was struck dumb, not deaf? The verse even clarifies the word dumb as meaning “that he could not have utterance.” I recall I had a missionary companion who wrote in his scriptures next to this passage “This guy is a chief judge?”
• In the Allegory of the Vineyard in Jacob 5, when the Lord of the vineyard and his servant go to check on the growth of the original tree, and they find that “all sorts of fruit did cumber the tree.” So the Lord of the vineyard tastes it all, “every sort according to its number.” In the end, he declares that “there is none of it which is good.” I’m not sure why, but I just have this mental image of the Lord tasting fruit after fruit, and after each one, he spits it out on the ground and rushes on to the next one, and at the end, he’s just shaking with rage, his face covered with all kinds of awful fruit juices, and he angrily spits out that he hated all of it.
• Ether Chapter 3 begins as follows: “And it came to pass that the brother of Jared, (now the number of the vessels which had been prepared was eight) went forth unto the mount . . .” I love this passage, because I’m imagining Moroni laboriously writing on the plates, and he’s already started into the story of the sixteen small stones, and then he realizes that he should have brought up the fact that there were eight barges because then it will make more sense why the Brother of Jared chose sixteen stones. And at first he thinks maybe he’ll melt that plate down and start it over, but then he’s just exhausted with the whole process and he’s nearly done with that plate, so he says, “Heck with it. I’ll just throw in a random parenthetical comment.”
• In Mosiah 18, Alma is working up toward asking his followers if they’re ready to be baptized. He begins, “Behold, here are the waters of Mormon,” and Mormon, who’s narrating, helpfully adds, “(for thus were they called).” Thanks, I think I could have figured that out from the context. But the fact that he felt the need to call it out does suggest some fun alternative stories. Like what if the waters were actually called the Waters of Noah, and calling them the Waters of Mormon was a huge act of rebellion? Maybe Alma was trying to get his followers to really commit to abandoning Noah’s kingdom by getting them to agree to call them the Waters of Mormon. Maybe King Noah was livid when he heard that dissenters were calling his favorite waters by the wrong name!

If you have favorite passages from the Book of Mormon that make you laugh, please feel free to share them.