In Fun

18 More Websites That Should Be Blocked on Church Wi-Fi

Author ZiffPosted on 4 Comments

The Church announced (to its local leaders leaders) that some social networking, video and audio streaming, and gaming sites will be blocked on meetinghouse WiFi beginning this month. Of course when I saw the headline that mentioned social networking, I immediately thought of the 800-pound gorilla of social networking sites: Facebook. But no, it looks like Facebook has been spared, perhaps because some missionaries are now using it to find people to teach. Instead, the blocks hit sites like Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, and MySpace.

I know what you’re thinking: Not MySpace!! But yes indeed. If you want to check out this granddaddy of social networking sites, you’re just going to have to splurge and use mobile data. Thinking of the literally dozens of members who are likely affected by the blocking of MySpace got me to wondering about what other websites might be blocked next. I came up with the following list, and I submit it for the consideration of the Church’s technology powers that be:

  • GeoCities
  • Angelfire
  • Webvan
  • AltaVista (particularly their nefarious ASCII porn image search)
  • Excite
  • Lycos
  • Pets.com

While they’re at it, I hope that the Church blocks some of the following disreputable dating sites that make a quick buck preying on trusting Mormons:

  • Neckers Seeking Petters
  • Swipe the Right
  • Saturday’s Courter
  • Tinder in My Bosom

And of course the same goes for the following gaming sites:

  • Gadianton Robbery Auto
  • Words with Ward Members
  • HolyCraft
  • Call of Sacred Duty
  • Resident Righteous
  • Super Ministry Brothers
  • Gaseous Moisture

Which websites would you like to see blocked on your church’s WiFi?

4 comments

  3. Neckers Seeking Petters really does sound obscene. [Now I’m going to go see if neckersseekingpetters.com is taken.]

  4. If I had a nickle for every time I looked over in Gospel Doctrine to see someone playing Danites Creed or Curelom Age, I would still have no money to pay tithing on. I don’t like to bring it up in any case, for fear someone will block me out of OKHolyGhost, and then how am I supposed to spend Sunday School?

Comments are closed.