Submission can be a beautiful thing.
Really.
It can. Read More
Imagine a somewhat different temple narrative, in which:
…that I wish more than anything in the world I could have had for my own wedding?
I know, I know. It’s like the hardest riddle you’ve ever read.
Here’s a clue: It’s not a royal fiance or a five foot cake or a McQueen dress or 30,000 flowers.
Nope.
It’s the freedom and power to omit the vow to “obey her husband”.
…and then have everyone be happy about it.
I started this post probably two years ago (like so many ZD drafts, it then disappeared into the depths of our queue), but a few incidents in recent weeks have inspired me to come back to it. These are some tips (some composed with the help of my co-bloggers) which I hope will be helpful for those participating here. They’re probably unnecessary for the majority of our commenters, but they might be worth mentioning for those who are less familiar with our style and assumptions. Read More
Are women’s perceptions less reliable than men’s? Does this policy not privilege the validity of male experience over female, signaling the stance that men’s perceptions should be accepted by the community as “truth,” where women’s experiences must be measured against men’s?
If indeed my XX chromosomes have blessed me with an extra dose of spirituality, I’m having a hard time seeing it. Truth be told, I find it a real pain to get up on Sunday morning and attend church, and I frequently find myself thinking how nice it would be to instead stay home and read novels, preferably while eating brownies and ice cream. I’ve been known to avoid the internal debate altogether by simply sleeping in–and when I wake up and see that it’s too late to make it, I think, aww, what a shame, I guess I’ll have to try out my latest arrival from Netflix.
“By these three days [the Triduum*] all the world is called to attention. Everything that is and ever was and ever will be, the macro and the micro, the galaxies beyond number and the microbes beyond notice—everything is mysteriously entangled with what happened, with what happens, in these days. This is the axis mundi, the center upon which the cosmos turns. In the derelict who cries from the cross is, or so Christians say, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.”
–Richard John Neuhaus, Death on a Friday Afternoon
(*The three days of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday are traditionally referred to as the Triduum)
The shelf model is probably familiar to most Mormons. If you have doubts, questions, concerns, the saying goes, you put them on a shelf. You focus on the basics (however those may be defined). You accept that you can’t resolve everything. Read More
In a recent post at the “On Faith” blog at the Washington Post, titled “What Equality Looks Like,” Michael Otterson attempts to make a case for the equality of women and men in the LDS church. He puts the question to several women, who make three points, all of which I find problematic. Read More
I sometimes get evasive when people ask what I study, especially if I’m not feeling particularly talkative–an admission that I study theology can lead to all kinds of complicated conversations. But for the most part, my fellow Latter-day Saints have been enthusiastic and supportive, and I’ve very much appreciated that. However, there are some ideas about divinity school which I’ve repeatedly encountered that I’ve found somewhat baffling, as they really haven’t matched my experience.
(Caveat: this is shaped to some extent by my specific field of systematic theology, and I’d be interested in hearing from those who work in other areas of religion.)
Sister Bednar and I are acquainted with a returned missionary who had dated a special young man for a period of time. She cared for him very much, and she was desirous of making their relationship more serious. She was considering and hoping for engagement and marriage. Read More
As I contemplated what to write about today, unlike past years, nothing immediately sprang to mind. Overall I think that’s a great thing. Life, even with autism, is more settled these days. We have routines and plans, and real communication, and things are pretty good.
Don’t get me wrong — life with Spencer is far from “normal”. My almost-3yo talks better than my 6yo does. If I have to choose one hand to hold in a busy parking lot or to cross a street, it’s that of my oldest child. Nearly everything in the house ends up dipped in water at one point or another, and that includes electronics. I’m trying to potty-train 3 children at once, and with the oldest I’ve probably washed out 5 or 6 times more poopy underwear than most parents do while potty training 10 children. Waiting in a line is like yanking teeth out with my bare hands.
Still, things are pretty good. Read More
Today is the 4th annual World Autism Awareness Day, and in honor of it, we here at ZD are lighting it up blue today. Look for a related post later in the day!
I recently bought some eyeglasses online. When I was selecting frames, the site I was buying from allowed me to filter the list by whether I wanted by rim style (full rim, half rim, rimless), by shape, by size, and by frame color. It occurred to me that none of these were all that useful to me because what I found most important was that my glasses not make a statement of any kind. Needless to say, this is a difficult enough criterion to define that the site did not allow me to filter frames in this way.
I eventually found some frames I was happy with. But thinking about the issue of wanting my glasses to not make a statement also got me to wondering about whether such a goal is easier for men to achieve than it is for women.
Our blog is a little slow lately, and I’m feeling a little bad about that, and like I should do something about it. I have a number of post drafts in-progress, but none that are currently interesting enough to me to be worth the energy to finish them. So I thought I would approach our lovely readers. Are there any subjects that you’ve always wanted to discuss? Anything you wish we had a post on? Anything that’s currently on your mind that you wish there was a current post about? I’m taking requests. I won’t guarantee anything (since that’s practically a guarantee that I won’t manage to do it), but if you want to see a post on a particular subject and I can come up with something quasi-intelligent to say on the matter, I’ll try to do it. So, fire away. I aim to please.
Don’t miss Dane Laverty’s Mormon Stories interview on the genesis of
his feminist convictions and his hopes for his new site, Agitating
Faithfully. It’s well worth a listen.
While I don’t hold with the idea that you can magically change yourself and your habits by setting goals as New Year’s rolls around, I still find it useful to occasionally stop and look at how I’m doing in various areas of my life, and try to figure out how I can improve. New Year’s and my birthday (which happens to fall in July) always work out to be good times to re-evaluate and try to change some things, and this year is no different.
I set some goals last year, like I do every year, and (as in most years) I achieved some and didn’t achieve others. I’m okay with that — my general philosophy is that I’ll never be perfect, but better is always good. Since I didn’t get as far as I wanted to on some of my goals last year, I decided I should try something different to help motivate me this year, and I had a brilliant idea — a spreadsheet. (I know, it doesn’t sound that brilliant, but really, it was. For me at least.) Read More
Judith Dushku and Eliza Dushku are attempting to raise $30,000 to build a healing center for former child soldiers in Uganda. For more information, including how you can donate (and be entered in the ultimate Feminist Mormon Housewives raffle), see fMhLisa’s post.
It has always intrigued me to hear about people’s “realization moments”–for it seems that, often, women and men come to understand feminism in a sudden moment in time when it became clear, or a series of common events that string together to form the sentence, “Something is not right here.”
I have these moments, and I’ve often thought how interesting it was that my first self-identifiable “feminist realizations” floated around in one single summer, the summer I studied at the Joseph Smith Seminar. Read More
I was recently called as my ward’s early-morning seminary teacher. I’ll pause to let you all wince.
There are many challenges to this calling, but, to my surprise, waking up at 5:15 AM is not the greatest challenge. (This isn’t to say it’s the smallest challenge, either; I’m not a morning person, at all, and I freely admit to having some very un-Christian feelings in my heart–and words in my mouth–when that alarm goes off.) Read More