A Heretic Reviews General Conference, April 2025

Fastest hymn: Sing Praise to Him (Saturday afternoon)
Slowest hymn: Were You There? (Saturday evening)
Best hymn: Praise to the Lord, the Almighty (Sunday morning)
Worst hymn: God Is Love (Saturday morning)
Most entertaining choir member: See the amazing mustache on a BYU student choir member during the hymn Rejoice, the Lord Is King. I’ve linked a moment in the video when he’s most visible, but I’m clearly not the only one struck by him, as a shot centered on him is currently being used as the thumbnail for the video on YouTube, when most often the thumbnail is a shot of the whole choir.

Longest prayer: 127 seconds, Jorge F. Zeballos, Saturday morning benediction.
Shortest prayer: 44 seconds, Kevin S. Hamilton, Saturday morning invocation. This was the shortest prayer since Claudio R. M. Costa gave a 43-second prayer in April, 2019.

Best image: I like Robert Zund’s Road to Emmaus painting that Henry B. Eyring used in his talk.

Best laughs:

• Jeffrey R. Holland told a story of one of his grandchildren biting another, after which their father told the victim of the bit that the biter probably didn’t even know what it felt like to be bitten. Naturally, the victim took this as an invitation to bite back.
• Patrick Kearon talked about gifts, and informed his listeners that even some animals give gifts. He cited two examples: penguins and bonobos. I feel like he might be trolling us (and perhaps some of his fellow Q15 members) here, as penguins are in the news now for being targets of some of Trump’s misguided tariffs, and bonobos are best known for their healthy sexual appetite, especially for homosexual sex.

Best stories:

• S. Mark Palmer quoted from a letter from a woman who had left the Church and later came back. She explained how her parents didn’t try to harass her back into activity: “They didn’t make me feel unwelcome in their home and at family gatherings . . . . Instead, they continued to welcome me.”
• Dale G. Renlund told of a story in a Finnish poem of a farmer who faced all kinds of difficulties, year after year, in growing a good crop. One year, he finally had a great harvest, but he told his wife to continue mixing mildly nutritious bark in making bread as she had for years, because he wanted to share their surplus with their neighbors who hadn’t had as good a harvest.
• Dieter F. Uchtdorf told of a time when he invited a friend to attend church while they were traveling. She joined him and his wife in a small branch, where he worried that the unskilled singing and speaking would be off-putting. She ended up loving it, and he learned that he’d been too judgmental. I enjoy the story for showing GA imperfection, and also for the detail that he could have a woman friend, which I suspect some of the more patriarchal GAs would look askance at.
• Amy A. Wright told of her son, who when he was interviewing at a law school, was asked who he looked to as his moral compass. Although he feared it would sink his chances, he replied that he looked to Jesus. Against his expectations, he got in anyway. I appreciate this twist on the typical persecution complex story, where people have to suffer for their righteous peculiarity, as the academics proved more accepting than he expected.
• Tamara W. Runia told of a priest in her daughter’s ward who misstated part of the sacrament prayer on the water “that they may do it in remembrance of the love of thy Son” (instead of blood). I love the messages that things don’t have to be perfect, and sometimes a beautiful idea can come from an unexpected place, and most of all the idea of thinking about Jesus’s love rather than his blood, which seems more hopeful and less punitive (I shed this blood for you, so you’d better be grateful!)
• Patrick Kearon told a story of how his father surprised him with a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang toy car when he was seven, and how much he loved the gift. I appreciate how he didn’t feel like he had to tell the story of a gift his audience would necessarily find meaningful, but rather told of a gift that he had enjoyed.

Worst stories:

• Jeffrey R. Holland told a story of a newly-ordained deacon who had a physical disability, but was anxious to pass the sacrament anyway. He was able to do so without help, although it was a great struggle. President Holland analogizes the boy’s struggle to the Atonement, but it seems to me that the story could be told with a very different theme with some small tweaks. What if the boy had fallen and fatally injured himself? Then it might be told as a story of his wicked pride in refusing needed help. What if he had been a girl? Then for sure it would have been told as a story of her wickedness in wanting to be ordained at all. It’s hard for me to see the story as anything but inspiration porn.
• Neil L. Andersen told of a man who cheated on his wife and impregnated his affair partner. When she wanted an abortion, his wife pled with her to keep the pregnancy and she (the wife) would raise the baby. Elder Andersen approvingly explains that this is what happened, and as a cherry on top, he suggested that the wife had forgiven her husband. This story is appalling, as it makes clear Elder Andersen believes that women’s only real value is in bearing children, and that they are most praiseworthy when they allow men to walk all over them.
• S. Mark Palmer said, “A former missionary from Africa wrote a senior Church leader, apologising and seeking forgiveness for being offended by his teachings about a certain cultural tradition, which then led him to leave the Church.” This is a David A. Bednar dream come true, where the offended party is the one who apologizes, and the giver of offense gets to sit back and receive it. I assume the Church leader went right on ahead telling Africans how they needed to follow the “gospel culture” from Utah, because heaven knows givers of offense never need to repent.
• Hans T. Boom told a story of his poor parents who had saved money to buy a washing machine, but were then asked by their bishop to donate their money for a church building, which they agreed to do. In a time when the Church has amassed an obscenely gigantic fortune, I think it is criminal for Church leaders to continue to tell stories like this in Conference.
• Steven D. Shumway told of an inactive man who was successfully pressured into quitting smoking and returning to church, and then just three weeks later, was called into the bishopric. He balked at this, but the stake president said it was actually the Lord calling him, so he agreed. Please let’s not normalize local leaders clubbing members over the head with “the Lord is calling you” with every idea that crosses their minds.
• John A. McCune told of how Russell M. Nelson was kind and welcoming to him and his wife when calling him into the Seventy, and he was surprised to learn later that President Nelson’s daughter had died the same day. Elder McCune saw this as evidence of President Nelson’s testimony. It strikes me more as evidence that he just doesn’t care much for his family. It’s consistent with the story he told of himself a few years ago when he dismissed the genuine concern of a family member whose father was dying with the word myopic. I don’t like that this type of dismissal of grief is held up as an ideal.
• Michael B. Strong told of how, as a missionary, he accidentally hit and killed a bicyclist who had swerved into his path. But the story wasn’t about the bicyclist, but rather about the compassion of his missionary friend who came and stayed with him in the jail where he was locked up, and then later secured his release. I like a good story about compassion, but it seems the height of heartlessness to treat the man he killed so cavalierly, as just a prop in his story.

Weirdest story: Steven D. Shumway told of how he met his wife-to-be while he was serving in as an activities planner in a singles ward. He said “We fell in love, and she proposed to me just two weeks later. Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that fast, and I was the one who proposed.” I’m not sure if this is a failed joke or what, but why say she proposed and why say in two weeks, only to immediately say, in effect “just kidding,” especially given the Mormon propensity for dating fast and marrying fast?

Thanks for admitting human weakness:

• Dieter F. Uchtdorf admitted that he judged the singing, speaking, and noise level in a small branch that he brought a friend to visit.
• Gary E. Stevenson admitted that his and his family’s evolving Easter traditions after the Church’s decision to take the holiday more seriously “is still a work in progress.”
• James R. Rasband said that “my own first couple of reads of the Book of Mormon did not yield an immediate and clear answer to my prayers.”
• Steven D. Shumway told a story about how he felt lost as a newly-called GA.
• Tamara W. Runia confessed, “I used to measure my relationship with the Savior by how perfectly I was living. I thought an obedient life meant I would never need to repent.”
• Scott D. Whiting told a story about how, as a deacon on a campout, he played a prank on his father that went wrong and ended with him (Elder Whiting) sitting on a cactus.

Best lines:

• Camille N. Johnson: “While the women represented as the five wise virgins [in a sculpture] are not sharing the oil of their conversion, they are sharing their light.”
  • I like this framing that reduces the nyah-nyah-we’re-better tone I’ve always felt in this parable.
• Henry B. Eyring: “Just as His beloved disciples, every child of Heavenly Father who has chosen to enter through the gate of baptism is under covenant to be a witness of the Savior and to care for those in need throughout our mortal lives.”
• Hans T. Boom: “You could be called as a service or a teaching missionary. Both types of missionaries contribute to the same goal of bringing souls to Christ, each in their own unique and powerful way.”
• Dieter F. Uchtdorf: “Can a book—or a church or a person—have ‘faults’ and ‘mistakes’ and still be the work of God? My answer is a resounding yes!” [italics in original]
  • I think the scare quotes on faults and mistakes are a little silly, but I love this line. I think it would be especially helpful for people who want to defend the Church and feel like they need to defend every little decision as 100% inspired because they worry that once the Church is shown to be imperfect, it must be false.
• D. Todd Christofferson: “If, as the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then we might say with respect to Deity, emulation is the sincerest form of veneration.”
• Tamara W. Runia: “I’ve learned that if you wait until you’re clean enough or perfect enough to go to the Savior, you’ve missed the whole point!”
• Tamara W. Runia: “[God] delights to forgive us because to Him we are delightful!”
• Gerrit W. Gong: “This is Easter in Jesus Christ: He answers the longings of our hearts and the questions of our souls. He wipes away our tears, except our tears of joy.”
• Michael B. Strong: “As we become more like our Master, our desire to help our brothers and sisters along the covenant path will naturally increase.”
• Patrick Kearon: “The reality is none of us is ‘deserving’—all the Father’s gifts are received only through the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, but how His generous heart longs for each of His children to receive them!”
• Russell M. Nelson: “As charity becomes part of our nature, we will lose the impulse to demean others. We will stop judging others. We will have charity for those from all walks of life.”

Worst lines:

• S. Mark Palmer, in exhorting people returning to church after being inactive: “Be patient as your faith and testimony also grow. This includes not taking offense at thoughtless comments like ‘Where have you been all these years?'”
  • He’s clearly channeling David A. Bednar in his greater concern with people taking offense than giving it.
• D. Todd Christofferson: “We come together not to entertain or be entertained—as by a band, for instance—but to remember Him and be ‘instructed more perfectly’ in His gospel.”
  • This swipe at bands is nothing more than ethnocentrism. Elder Christofferson isn’t used to hearing a band at church, so he thinks it’s weird, and more entertainment than inspiration. And, as is clearly a problem with so many GAs, he’s sure than whatever he feels, God feels.
• D. Todd Christofferson: “One sister wisely observed, ‘I cannot think of a more profound way to worship God than to welcome His little ones into our lives and care for them and teach them His plan for them.'”
  • The first thing to note is that this is a strange little aside in a talk that’s ostensibly about worship. More importantly, though, I think it’s telling how he carefully puts this call for women to have more children, and define themselves more as mothers, in the mouth of a woman. It seems like he’s trying to make his point, but at the same time avoid any pushback.
• Steven D. Shumway referred to “the sacred moment when each of us will kneel and confess that Jesus is the Christ, which I witness that He is and that President Russell M. Nelson is His ‘voice … unto the ends of the earth’ to help us ‘prepare … for that which is to come.'”
  • It’s awkwardly phrased, and I don’t think he’s saying we’ll all need to kneel and confess that Russell M. Nelson is Jesus’s voice, but I can’t rule it out either.
• Benjamin M. Z. Tai: “When the winds are against us in our lives, are we willing to be cheerful and courageous?”
  • Being of good cheer isn’t always a matter of just willing it into being.
• Russell M. Nelson: “Imagine the boost you will receive to any positive thought when you enhance it with virtue. Virtue makes everything better and happier! On the other hand, imagine what will happen when you add virtue to an impure thought, a cruel thought, or a depressing thought. Virtue will drive away those thoughts. Virtue will free you from anxious, troublesome thoughts.” [emphasis in original]
  • In his desire to come up with a shiny new word to replace “think celestial,” President Nelson helps to undo decades of tiny steps the Church has taken toward accepting the reality of mental illness. How many of us will now get scolded with his last sentence if we mention depression or anxiety?

Best lines to get on Bruce R. McConkie’s bad side:

• Steven D. Shumway: “Ordinances don’t save us because they fulfill a heavenly checklist.”
• Dallin H. Oaks: “People who imagine commandments as the way God decides who to punish fail to understand this purpose of God’s loving plan of happiness.”

Best lines to get on Russell M. Nelson’s bad side:

• Amy A. Wright: “Seek inspired ways to help [children] come to know this is their Church.”
  • I’m pretty sure President Nelson would want to make clear that it is absolutely not their Church, and they should never think they have any say in what it is or how it is run, because only he gets to decide these things.
• Benjamin M. Z. Tai: “[God’s] love for us is . . . perpetual.”

Best lines to get on Trumpists’ bad side:

• Tamara W. Runia: “If you saw someone drowning, wouldn’t you reach your hand out and rescue them?”
  • This is a double whammy for Trumpists, because not only does she suggest the idea of indiscriminately caring about other people, she also uses a singular them!
• Dale G. Renlund: “The lesson of the Savior’s parable of the sheep and goats is that we are to use the gifts we have been given—time, talents, and blessings—to serve Heavenly Father’s children, especially the most vulnerable and needy.”
  • Trumpists, of course, have the holy prosperity gospel to remind them not to help the most vulnerable and needy, who are clearly being punished by God for some unrighteousness.
• D. Todd Christofferson: “One who places loyalty to a party or cause ahead of divine direction worships a false god.”
  • Of course, Trumpist Mormons aren’t going to hear this as a critique of them, because they generally believe that Trump’s words are divine direction.

Lines missing an asterisk:

• Quentin L. Cook: “Despite warnings, both [Willie and Martin handcart] companies departed for the Salt Lake Valley too late in the season.” [emphasis in original]
  • *There’s more to be blamed than the pioneers’ stubborn refusal to listen to warnings. Some historians blame Franklin D. Richards or even Brigham Young.
• In the context of telling a story about a man cheating on his wife, Neil L. Andersen said “A single woman became pregnant and wanted an abortion.”
  • *Although Elder Andersen’s language carefully erases the man from the sentence, the woman became pregnant not just out of the blue, but because a man failed to ejaculate responsibly.
• David A. Bednar: “The Church was organized in proper sequence only after the restoration of the priesthood and the publication of the Book of Mormon.”
  • *The idea that there was a “proper sequence” is clearly a retcon. Was the whole business about Joseph and Oliver being first elder and second elder part of the “proper sequence”? How about the shift away from Trinitarianism?
• S. Mark Palmer: “Some [people I meet] once had testimonies of the gospel that were strong and vibrant . . . . Then, for uniquely personal reasons, those testimonies became weakened, leading to a loss of faith.”
  • *Except it’s typically not a uniquely personal reason, but rather a systematic issue with the Church, such as its discriminating against women, people of color, or LGBT people.

Interesting lines:

• At the beginning of each session broadcast, the narrator who reads the welcome, instead of reminding us that we can’t reproduce, record, transcribe or otherwise use the broadcast without written permission, as he always has in the past, now says “This broadcast is furnished as a public service by Bonneville Distribution. It may be used for personal and non-commercial home, family, or church uses.” It’s a nice change, but like with most changes in the Church, you’d think they would have made it about 30 years ago.
• Steven D. Shumway said “I wonder if we have a blind spot, failing to extend callings to individuals who, to our mortal view, appear unlikely or unworthy.”
  • This sounds like almost adjacent to an endorsement of Ordain Women. Because what has OW called for other than for the Q15 to re-examine their blind spot when it comes to deciding who to call to priesthood offices?
• Sandino Roman: “Have you ever thought of faith as trust?” [italics in original]
  • I hadn’t thought of this comparison before, and I found it illuminating.

Citation needed:

• Ronald A. Rasband: “Missionary work is gathering record numbers to the fold of the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ.”
  • For this, I’ll supply the citation. The Church had 309K convert baptisms in 2024. The record is still 1990, with 331K.
• Steven J. Lund: “The Lord entrusts today’s bearers of the priesthood of Aaron to do very much the same things they did anciently: to teach and to administer ordinances—all to remind us of His Atonement.”
• Gary E. Stevenson: “There appears to be a growing trend among various Christian theologians to view the Resurrection in figurative and symbolic terms.”
  • Is it actually growing, or is it just consistent or even declining, but you just don’t like how prevalent it is?
• Steven D. Shumway said of serving in the Church, “We do not receive financial compensation for serving.”
  • Again, I’ll help with the missing citation. General Authorities actually do get financial compensation for their Church service. It’s the rest of us who don’t.

Lines from speakers gunning to take Neal A. Maxwell’s position as the alliterative apostle:

• Gerrit W. Gong: “God’s plan of moral and mortal agency”
• Benjamin M. Z. Tai: “disorienting distractions and terrestrial temptations”
• Benjamin M. Z. Tai: “[God’s] love for us is perfect, personal, and perpetual.”

That isn’t how brackets work:

A number of speakers used brackets when quoting scriptures and other sources to add to or change the meaning of the text. These seem to me to range from misleading to downright deceptive. In all the quotes in this section, the brackets are in the talks, not inserted by me.

• Jeffrey R. Holland quoted Mosiah 3:19 as saying, in part, “even as a child [responds] to his father.” The verse actually says “even as a child doth submit to his father.”
  • I assume President Holland found the idea of submission too harsh for a 21st-century audience.
• Camille N. Johnson quoted Matthew 22:14 as saying “Many are called, but few [choose to be] chosen.” The verse actually says “For many are called, but few are chosen.”
  • She did cite a talk by Elder Bednar on the idea of choosing to be chosen, but this doesn’t mean that the original text should be edited.
• Amy A. Wright quoted Romans 3:25 as describing Jesus as “whom God hath set forth to be [the great] propitiation.” The verse actually says “Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation.”
  • As far as I can tell, the term “great propitiation” isn’t from the scriptures at all, but is the title of a book published in 1672.
• David A. Bednar quoted the Restoration Proc as saying, in part, “In [response] to his [sincere] prayer, God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, appeared to Joseph.” The relevant section actually says “in answer to his prayer, God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, appeared to Joseph.”
  • The substitution of response for answer doesn’t seem to change the meaning, but it makes no sense to me that Elder Bednar thought he could just edit in sincere as a descriptor for the prayer. Of course the writers of the proc (of which he was one) would have agreed that Joseph’s prayer was sincere. But that’s not the point. The point is that the text says what it says, and you don’t use brackets to pretend it says something else.
• Again, Elder Bednar quoted the Restoration Proc, this time saying people “who prayerfully study the message of the Restoration and act in faith will be blessed [through the power of the Holy Ghost] to gain their own witness.”
  • The bracketed phrase doesn’t appear in the original text.
• Gérald Caussé quoted D&C 124:49 as saying, in part, “and their enemies [which may include adverse circumstances in our lives] hinder them from performing that work.”
  • The verse, of course, doesn’t include the bracketed phrase, or any suggestion of it.
• Dallin H. Oaks quoted 2 Nephi 31:17 as saying, in part, “and then [the scriptures explain] cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost.”
  • Of course the bracketed phrase doesn’t appear in the original verse. At least I think it’s clear here what President Oaks is doing, but he’s just misusing brackets when what he should do is to close his quote and re-open it, like so: “and then,” the scriptures explain, “cometh a remission . . .”
• Neil L. Andersen quoted a Church statement on abortion as saying, in part, “The [Lord] allows for possible exceptions.”
  • The relevant part of the statement actually says “The Church allows for possible exceptions.” I feel like this is by far the most egregious misuse of brackets on the list, as Elder Andersen was clearly trying to increase the credibility of his commentary by substituting what he wished the statement would say.
• Later, Elder Andersen added to the wording of the Church statement on abortion, quoting it as saying “Abortion is a most serious matter. [Even in these rare situations] it should be considered only after the persons responsible have received confirmation through prayer.”
  • The bracketed phrase doesn’t occur in the original statement, nor is it suggested. It doesn’t include the word “rare,” or any synonym, anywhere. Again, Elder Andersen is changing the wording to make the Church statement say what he wished it said.

Best scripture quotes:

• Dieter F. Uchtdorf quoted Alma 5:26 on the “song of redeeming love.”
• Amy A. Wright quoted James 1:22 about being “doers of the word, and not hearers only.”
  • As a missionary, decades ago, I liked this verse for arguing with evangelicals who believed works weren’t necessary. Now, I like it as a call to myself to remember that thinking good stuff is nice, but doing good stuff is better.
• Patrick Kearon quoted James 1:17: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights.”
  • I just love the term Father of lights.

Misunderstood scripture quotes:

• Citing Joseph Smith History, Ronald A. Rasband said “There are naysayers who shout, ‘”Lo, here!” and … “Lo, there!”‘ just as they did in the Prophet Joseph Smith’s time.” [ellipses in original]
  • But the people saying lo here in Joseph Smith’s time weren’t naysayers; they were just advocates for different faiths.
• Gérald Caussé cited 2 Nephi 25:23 (“for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”) and said “The Lord asks us to do ‘all we can.'”
  • But the scripture isn’t asking us to do anything. It’s just descriptive: it’s saying that after we’ve done all we can, it’s grace that saves us.

Disagreement about quoting scriptures:

• Dieter F. Uchtdorf and Michael B. Strong both cited John 13:34 where Jesus says his disciples will be known by their love for one another, but Elder Uchtdorf quoted the New KJV (and even took his title from it) to avoid the gender-exclusive phrasing “all men,” while Elder Strong just went ahead with the KJV.
• As I noted before in the section on brackets, President Holland replaced submit with respond in his quote of Mosiah 3:19. Later, Christopher H. Kim went ahead and quoted the verse as-is.

Best non-scripture quote: Sergio R. Vargas quoted Joseph Smith: “a man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.”

Worst non-scripture quote: Neil L. Andersen, in note 7, quoted the Handbook saying “A person may repent and be forgiven for the sin of abortion.” This line suggests two things I disagree with. First, that abortion is categorically a sin. Second, that it’s such an awful sin that it must be made clear that repentance is actually possible.

That sounds nice; now just show us the numbers:

• S. Mark Palmer, quoting Quentin L. Cook, in note 3: “For your information, youth and young adults are not less active or leaving the Church in higher numbers than in the past, as has been widely circulated.”
• S. Mark Palmer: “Every week many are responding to the Saviour’s invitation by returning to discipleship and Church activity, quietly and humbly seeking the healing that Jesus promises.”
• Russell M. Nelson: “Our young men and women are submitting applications for missionary service in record numbers.”
• Jared B. Larsen with the Auditing Department Report.

The dictionary defines ____ as:

• Amy A. Wright: “As Peter demonstrated, belief is ‘to have faith in someone or to accept something as true.'”
• James R. Rasband (in note 11): “The Oxford English Dictionary defines mercy as ‘clemency and compassion shown to a person who is in a position of powerlessness’ (‘mercy,’ oed.com).”
• Michael B. Strong: “A disciple is a follower or student of another.” And later: “Compassion is the portion of charity that seeks to alleviate suffering.” For both, his footnotes refer to Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary.

Mixed messages:

• Hans T. Boom said of faithful parents, “They were not and are not deceived!” But in the talk right before, Dale G. Renlund said, “The Savior knew pretenders would try to deceive the very elect and that many disciples would be duped.”
• David A. Bednar referred to “the message that the Lord Jesus Christ has restored His gospel and Church in the latter days” as “the most important and glorious ‘good news’ any person anywhere in the world can ever receive.” But earlier, Quentin L. Cook quoted Gordon B. Hinckley as saying of the Atonement, “When all of history is examined, … [there is] nothing … so wonderful, so majestic, so tremendous as this act of grace.” [brackets in original] I think even from a conventional Mormon perspective, setting aside my heretical one, President Hinckley was right. The Atonement is more important than the Restoration.

Best titles:

• “Your Repentance Doesn’t Burden Jesus Christ; It Brightens His Joy”, Tamara W. Runia. This is a great, hopeful one-line sermon.
• “Beware the Second Temptation,” Scott D. Whiting. I like this because it’s intriguing and gets my mind going, wondering how he’s defining the second temptation, and for that matter, the first.

Best name for God: Patrick Kearon called him “our Bounteous Giver.”

Interesting word choice:

• Jeffrey R. Holland called the Book of Mormon “the most rewarding book I have ever read,” which seems like a deft way to sidestep the question of its historicity (although I have no doubt President Holland believes it’s historical too).
• David A. Bednar testified of “the visitation of the Father and the Son to Joseph Smith.” I wonder if this is in response to the question I’ve sometimes seen posed about whether the First Vision was actually a visitation, as it’s typically portrayed, or a vision.
• Dale G. Renlund said “The Savior knew pretenders would try to deceive the very elect and that many disciples would be duped.” To me, duped in comparison with say deceived, has connotations of the target of the deception being dumber. It sounds like disciples weren’t that hard to mislead. Also, in the way the youths use dupe, to mean a knockoff copy, this suggests that disciples might be cloned!

Bad patterns:

• Two speakers—Amy A. Wright and Dallin H. Oaks—cited Joseph Fielding Smith’s Doctrines of Salvation. This book needs to go on the trash heap with Mormon Doctrine.
• Three speakers at least—Ronald A. Rasband, David A. Bednar, and Russell M. Nelson—were back to crowing about the Church’s growth.

Good patterns:

• A couple of speakers—Camille N. Johnson and Dale G. Renlund—referred to new hymns.
• Two speakers in a row—Tamara W. Runia and Gérald Caussé—mentioned that God understands the different degrees of difficulty of what we face.

Most footnotes: 50, Amy A. Wright.
Fewest footnotes: 2, Stephen J. Lund.
Tersest footnotes: Henry B. Eyring had 46 total words in his 12 footnotes.
Most verbose footnotes: James R. Rasband had 1869 words in his 38 footnotes, which made them longer than his talk, which only had 1643 words.
Most self-referential footnotes: Neil L. Andersen referred to himself four times in his footnotes. Even Russell M. Nelson only referred to himself once in his.
Best footnote game of telephone: In Jeffrey R. Holland’s note 10, he quoted a Conference talk by Richard L. Evans, where he was in turn quoting William H. Danforth, who was in turn quoting James W. Clarke.

Most interesting footnotes:

• Sandino Roman cited what sounds like a pretty dense academic book titled Roman Faith and Christian Faith: Pistis and Fides in the Early Roman Empire and Early Churches. Here’s the beginning of the book description on GoodReads, to give a flavor of it:

This study investigates why “faith” (pistis/fides) was so important to early Christians that the concept and praxis dominated the writings of the New Testament. It argues that such a study must be interdisciplinary, locating emerging Christianities in the social practices and mentalites of contemporary Judaism and the early Roman empire. This can, therefore, equally be read as a study of the operation of pistis/fides in the world of the early Roman principate, taking one small but relatively well-attested cult as a case study in how micro-societies within that world could treat it distinctively.

• Dale G. Renlund quoted a Finnish poem, which, he buries at the end of his note 29, he translated from Swedish himself.

Please don’t relegate this to a footnote:

• Camille N. Johnson pointed out in note 12 that the sculptor of “Five Wise Virgins” that she mentioned in her talk “portrayed the five wise virgins as women of various ages and racial backgrounds.”
• Dieter F. Uchtdorf, in note 13, cited 1 Corinthians 12 and said “In the body of Christ, we don’t ignore differences, and we don’t merely tolerate them. We are thankful for the unique contribution each member makes, for the good of the whole body.”
• Gerrit W. Gong, in note 20, pointed out that the connection of Easter with spring is specific to the northern hemisphere. This might seem like a small thing, but I think this is exactly the type of comment we need more of, where GAs notice that their vantage point isn’t the only place from which to see the world.

Sucking up to Russell M. Nelson:

• Most references in talk: 5, John A. McCune.
• Most references in footnotes: 8, Dale G. Renlund.
• Fewest references in talk: Zero, by 11 different speakers.
• Fewest references in footnotes: Zero, by 6 different speakers (with some overlap with the 11).
• Best hypercompliance: Quentin L. Cook referred to Mormon pioneers as “Latter-day Saint pioneers” although even the Church’s overly prescriptive style guide says that historical uses of “Mormon” are permissible.

Longest talk: 1945 words, Gary E. Stevenson.
Shortest talk: 1017 words, Russell M. Nelson.

Best talks:

• Tamara W. Runia. I really enjoyed her first Conference talk in 2023, and I thought this one was even better. I love how encouraging and hopeful she was. I love how she quoted and told stories of ordinary, non-GA people. I love how she was humble enough to tell of her own failings. She’s just a very relatable speaker, and I felt like this was clearly the best talk of the Conference.
• Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I appreciated his message about the importance of loving and accepting each other in our differences. I feel like he’s had a Conference talk slump off and on since Russell M. Nelson demoted him, but this talk felt very much in line with the excellent ones he used to give while he was in the First Presidency.
• Patrick Kearon. I’ve appreciated Elder Kearon’s talks before, and this one was no exception. He just has a positive, loving, non-scolding approach to the Church that I find very appealing. I remain thrilled that he was called to the Q12.

Mixed talk: Gérald Caussé. He mixed together two ideas in this talk, one of which I like and the other of which I don’t. The first is the idea that even an imperfect or incomplete offering is acceptable to God. He said, for example, “When our earnest efforts fall short of our aspirations due to circumstances beyond our control, the Lord still accepts the desires of our hearts as a worthy offering.” The second idea is that God will give us compensating blessings for things we miss out on. He said, for example, “When circumstances beyond our control prevent us from fulfilling the righteous desires of our hearts, the Lord will compensate in ways that allow us to receive His promised blessings.” This is prosperity gospel nonsense. There’s no amount of compensation that levels things out in life. Life remains fundamentally unfair, regardless of how faithful or unfaithful we are.

Weirdest talk: Ulisses Soares. Do you remember a few years ago when Dale G. Renlund gave a talk in which he told women to shut up about Heavenly Mother? I don’t recall exactly the source of the rumors, but it seems like people knew in advance that the talk was coming, and that Elder Renlund had been assigned the topic. But of course he didn’t just come right out and say his main message. Instead, he wrapped it in a bunch of fluff about the YW theme. Elder Soares’s talk felt to me like that one. It seemed like his core message was that the Q15 are disturbed by members passing around inspirational AI-generated images and quotes. Like Elder Renlund, he didn’t come right out and say this, though. Rather, he wrapped it up in a discussion of reverence and wonder, which I actually found interesting in a couple of places. Anyway, I wonder if GAs are concerned that people will feel the Spirit while seeing AI-generated material, and will then question the guidance of the Spirit when they later realize the material was fabricated.

Worst talk: Neil L. Andersen. This was by far the worst talk of Conference, so much so that I hesitate to name any others to avoid putting them on at all the same level. I found the talk infuriating because Elder Andersen so objectifies women. He sees them as useful objects for childbearing, and he seems insulted when they turn out to have personalities and interests and desires of their own. He praises them in stories for valiantly refusing to have abortions even for Church-approved reasons. He also excuses men, appearing to follow the old line of thinking that pregnancy is just something that randomly happens to women, and it’s up to them to deal with it. It also seems clear that, like other GAs who have talked about abortion, he might mouth support for exceptions, but he pooh-poohs them as “rare,” and really he’d prefer women never get an abortion. Like Lord Farquaad, he knows that some of them may die, but it is a sacrifice he is willing to make. I was also appalled at his willingness, as I outlined in the section on brackets above, to rewrite the Church statement on abortion to better suit his tastes. It felt to me like when Boyd K. Packer tried to stealth canonize the FamProc in 2010 and got his talk edited in the transcript.

Elder Andersen also showed us with this talk that it wasn’t just a one-off when he exhorted women to have more babies in 2011, or when he preached against abortion in 2021. He claimed he was not taking “a political position,” but betrayed the falsity of this statement by repeatedly using pro-lifers’ term “the unborn.” Given the current American political climate, I also can’t help but read this talk at least in part as his defense of a vote for Trump. It seems clear that it’s better in his mind to have a dictatorship where the dictator at least bans abortion than a democracy where the people stubbornly refuse to.

My heretical reviews of past General Conferences:

October 2024
April 2024
October 2023
April 2023
October 2022
April 2022
October 2021
April 2021
October 2020
April 2020
October 2019