As you know if you read ZD at all regularly, I’m mostly a complainer when it comes to Church-related issues. Today I wanted to break from my routine and talk about parts of the Church’s new edition of For the Strength of Youth that I appreciate. It still doesn’t fully match what I’d ideally hope for (for example, in maybe mentioning Heavenly Mother and not telling gay teens they need to live a celibate life), but it’s just so much better than the previous version (which, in my more usual vein, I wrote a post complaining about several years ago). If you want a more comprehensive look at the changes from the previous version, you might want to check out Elisa’s excellent post from October over at W&T.
I’ve put the quotes in the order they appear in the booklet. I’ve linked to each chapter before the quote or quotes I’m taking from it, in case you want to read them in context.
Message from the First Presidency
There may be times when you don’t feel strong or capable. That’s normal.
One of my biggest complaints about the previous version is that it pathologized some things that are perfectly normal for teens, like any sexual feelings at all. I am therefore very happy to see lines like this that tell teens in a straightforward way that they’re not alone when they have difficulties or struggles.
You are a beloved spirit child of God.
I’m pleasantly surprised that this line is written without any caveats like “as long as you stay on the covenant path.”
The purpose of For the Strength of Youth is not to give you a “yes” or “no” about every possible choice you might face.
This, of course, is the core point that Elder Uchtdorf focused on when he introduced the new version in his Conference talk. I’m very happy to see a move away from granular rules and toward just teaching teens general principles and then trusting them to apply the principles in their many varied circumstances.
Even when you try to do your best to make good choices, sometimes you will make mistakes. You’ll do things you wish you hadn’t. Everyone does.
As an anxiety-prone person, I’m especially happy to see the booklet normalizing the making of mistakes. I feel like there’s a norm from the GAs on down that people don’t generally really talk about the mistakes they’ve made. I think this can make it easy for teens to feel like they’re uniquely wicked when they find themselves unable to live a sinless life. At least that’s how it was for me when I was a teen. I appreciate this matter-of-fact statement about how this just doesn’t happen for anyone.
I’m trying to repent, but I keep making the same mistakes. What should I do now?
It takes time to develop good habits and break bad ones, so don’t give up.
I was taught quite explicitly as a teen that if I sinned and repented and went back and sinned in the same way again, then my repentance was a lie, and I’d now have to go back and double repent. I find this an incredibly discouraging teaching, not to mention that it suggests an angry accountant God, who’s carefully keeping an exact tally of your sins and repentance so he can see if you’re good enough for the celestial kingdom or not. I really like this more encouraging framing in the new version.
The two greatest of all commandments, Jesus taught, are to love God and love your neighbor. And who is your neighbor? Everyone!
As a disciple of Jesus Christ, you can lead out in treating people of all races and religions and any other groups with love, respect, and inclusion—especially those who are sometimes victims of hurtful words and actions.
I feel like these lines are a great push against Mormons’ tendency to be insular and suspicious or standoffish with anyone who isn’t in our group.
There are many good and wholesome things in this world.
This statement is made in the context of choosing good media. I feel like it should be flashed up as a response in the Conference Center whenever a Conference speaker laments that “the world” is nothing but a cesspool of wickedness.
Sexual feelings are an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. These feelings are not sinful—they are sacred.
I know this isn’t true for many people in the Church, but I absolutely got the message as a teen that sexual feelings were sinful and sex was sinful, and God only grudgingly allowed it between married couples, and then only as a means of reproduction. That it could also be pleasurable was just a wicked side effect. Anyway, that’s why I’m happy to see the booklet explicitly state that sexual feelings are not sinful.
Is it wrong to have questions about the Church? How can I find answers?
Having questions is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. In fact, asking questions can help build faith.
Although the booklet goes on to explain that you should limit where you search for answers, I appreciate that it at least says it’s not wrong to have questions.
So what do you think of the new version of For the Strength of Youth?
It seems like an improvement. I think the church is trying but it is too late for my family. My two gay children tried to make it work but it did not. We left soon after
Totally fair, Brian. The Church sure isn’t a welcoming place for gay people. I love that you chose to support your kids!
I agree it is an improvement. It feels more principle based than rule based which is a great thing. So many things change in the world and in our own lives that sticking to principles is a much better option than rules that may not fit the same situation in 10 years.
For my teenage kids the “For the Strength of Youth” brand is irreparably tainted. I’m not sure they will be interested in reading this. I like the new version but wonder whether they should have considered a new title, given how much different it is.
I’ve never cared for the tendency to promote the youth guidelines as universal for all ages, including in Uchtdorf’s talk in October. Having said that, the principles in this book are now sufficiently generalized that I’m willing to admit it is now mostly applicable to people of all ages. Still, though, I dream of having a church that treats its adult members as adults. This seems like a step in that direction.