A Heretic Reviews General Conference, April 2022

Best musical number: “Now Let Us Rejoice” Saturday afternoon. I really enjoyed this arrangement, and it gets bonus points for being so upbeat.
Worst musical number: “Our Prayer to Thee” Sunday afternoon. I’m not familiar with this hymn, but it just sounded way too soft and slow and what I think of as “Mormon reverent,” if that makes sense.
Fastest musical number: “In Hymns of Praise” Sunday afternoon. I didn’t actually check, but this seemed pretty fast to me.
Slowest musical number: “Oh, May My Soul Commune with Thee” Women’s session.
Best choir outfits: I appreciated that the women in the BYU-I choir on Saturday afternoon got to wear a very dark blue rather than a bright or pastel color that women are so often required to wear to show their adherence to divine gender roles.

Longest prayer: Vern P. Stanfill, Sunday afternoon benediction, 105 seconds. This is the second conference in a row where nobody got close to two minutes, which is kind of my rule of thumb for when a prayer starts to feel long.
Shortest prayer: Jan E. Newman, Saturday afternoon benediction, 62 seconds.

Things we don’t talk about:

  • Dale G. Renlund built his whole talk around a caution to women to not try to learn more about Heavenly Mother. Or pray to her. Or speculate about her. Or ask for revelation about her. He did stop short of telling them they shouldn’t mention her, but his message was still clear.
  • Gary E. Stevenson told a story of women in Poland who left strollers on a train platform for arriving Ukranian refugees who were fleeing the Russian invasion. He said “Poland,” but he couldn’t bring himself to say “Ukraine,” and certainly not “Russia.”
  • Russell M. Nelson did manage to say both “Ukraine” and “Russia,” but carefully avoided naming the Russian invasion for what it is, opting instead to vaguely refer to it as “the armed conflict in eastern Europe.”

Best title: Reyna I. Aburto, “We Are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”. A nice perspective, even if I think it misses the outsized control the GAs have.
Overwrought title: Patrick Kearon, “He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors”. I love the talk, but the title is just a bit much.
Trying too hard title: Becky Craven, “Do What Mattereth Most”.
Phoning-it-in title: Dallin H. Oaks, “Introductory Message”.

Talk that should have just been a Church Newsroom post: Dallin H. Oaks opened the Women’s session by explaining that the Saturday night session will be held going forward, but for different purposes at different times. I guess after the canceling and un-canceling of the session last year, the GAs felt like they had to come clean about the Saturday Night Session Selector (in principle, even if not in detail).

Best visual aid: Jeffrey R. Holland showed a note from a young girl who complained that conference is boring, and asked why we do it. It’s only too bad he didn’t actually discuss her question!

Best lines:

  • Patrick Kearon: “[Jesus] came here to make the impossible possible, the irredeemable redeemable, to heal the unhealable, to right the unrightable, to promise the unpromisable.”
  • Reyna I. Aburto: “Sometimes we are givers and sometimes we are receivers, but we are all one family in Christ.”

I love the idea that we can all sometimes take on both roles. It reminds me of the wonderful story “Today you . . . tomorrow me” told on Reddit back in 2010.

Worst lines:

  • Ronald A. Rasband: “Throughout history, people of faith have suffered mightily at the hands of others.”

This is grossly misleading. He’s implying that it’s always been sinful secularists persistently persecuting blameless believers. I think it’s much more likely that when it’s people’s faith that’s an issue in a dispute, it’s people of one faith fighting or persecuting people of another faith.

  • Jeffrey R. Holland: “Even as we stay “on the sunny side of the street,” we do run into that fellow from time to time who is determined to find something bleak and dismal about everything. You know his motto: ‘It is always darkest just before it goes pitch-black.’ What a malignant vision, and what a miserable existence!”

Holland has spoken before about how he has suffered from depression. It’s particularly disappointing, then, when he says blaming things like this, implying that people who feel the bleakness of the world most deeply are at fault for their depressed point of view.

Mixed messages:

  • Jeffrey R. Holland exhorted youth who might be suicidal to not kill themselves. His message seemed ham-handed and more focused on guilt than I would have liked, but I think his heart was in the right place. Then, the next day, Dallin H. Oaks reminded us that it’s God’s will that the Church oppose equal rights for LGBT people. So for LGBT youth, is the message that they darn well need to stay alive so they can suffer properly?
  • Kevin S. Hamilton compared God to computer software with if-then conditional statements. The next day, D. Todd Christofferson said “Some misunderstand the promises of God to mean that obedience to Him yields specific outcomes on a fixed schedule,” and later, “We ought not to think of God’s plan as a cosmic vending machine.”

Best lines in talks I mostly disliked:

  • Dallin H. Oaks: “We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. For all of us, He has destined life after death and, ultimately, a kingdom of glory.”

The primary focus of his talk was on the hierarchy of the afterlife, but I appreciate this nod toward a sort of universalist idea.

I think this is such an interesting way of asking whether we’re going to get involved in things or just watch.

Worst line in a talk I mostly liked: Patrick Kearon, in an otherwise excellent talk on abuse, briefly brought up the issue of false accusations. I get that he wanted to acknowledge the possibility and be complete, but I wish he could have just saved that for another day and not potentially throw a bone to abusers who might see this as support for them to claim that they’ve been falsely accused.

Lines that seem like they are carefully leaving crucial information out:

  • Neil L. Andersen: “We, as Latter-day Saints, are ‘pleased to be part of a coalition of faith, business, LGBTQ people and community leaders who have worked together in a spirit of trust and mutual respect.'”
  • Michael T. Ringwood: “The Old Testament is packed with miracles and tender mercies that are the hallmark of Heavenly Father’s plan.”

Right, and it’s also full of other . . . interesting stories.

Funniest line: Marcos A. Aidukaitis explained, “When I was preparing to go on my mission, some surprising forces tried to discourage me. One was my dentist.”

This especially made me laugh because it just seems so incongruous that your dentist would have an opinion on you serving a mission. I think it was extra funny that Aidukaitis didn’t pause like speakers often do after they’ve said something they thought was funny. He was starting his next line as the audience laughed.

Biggest laugh: Dieter F. Uchtdorf compared discipleship to riding a bicycle, but then said he was concerned that not everyone is an avid cyclist. So he introduced an analogy that he said was sure to be universal: “Discipleship, like most things in life, can also be compared to flying an airplane.” I love his  willingness to laugh at himself that I feel like is unmatched among the current Q15.

Interesting slips of the tongue:

  • Dallin H. Oaks, in the sustaining of Church leaders on Saturday afternoon, accidentally directed us to churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints.org to learn more about newly-called Area Authority Seventies. So how’s the migration to the new URL for the Church website going?
  • In his closing talk, Russell M. Nelson referred to Dieter F. Uchtdorf, who had spoken just before him, as “President Uchtdorf” (although it’s fixed to “Elder” in the print version).
  • Dallin H. Oaks twice referred to Reyna I. Aburto as Reyna L. Aburto, once when announcing her as a speaker on Saturday morning, and then later during the sustainings. (I hope her response was “What the L?”)

Lines from speakers gunning to take Neal A. Maxwell’s position as the alliterative apostle:

  • David A. Bednar: “secular scoffing”
  • Jean B. Bingham: “Life’s experiences can range from humorous to heart-wrenching, from grim to glorious.”
  • Dale G. Renlund: “Reason cannot replace revelation.”
  • Gary E. Stevenson: “When it comes to missionary work, God doesn’t need you to be His sheriff [correcting others’ misperceptions]; He does, however, ask that you be His sharer.”
  • Jörg Klebingat: “desperate decibels” from critics in the great and spacious building

The dictionary defines ___ as: David A. Bednar helpfully explained what a compass is before using it in an analogy.

Interesting word choice: Jean B. Bingham described the higher and holier way as a consistent effort, “not just an occasional splurge.” This sounds odd to me, because I feel like splurge has connotations of self-indulgence. It makes me think of someone slaving away at their tedious life of sin, but every so often they have a “treat yo self” day and splurge on some righteous behavior.

Stop trying to make myopia happen: D. Todd Christofferson

Unique descriptions of Jesus:

  • Amy A. Wright called him “He who is mighty to heal”
  • Ulisses Soares closed his talk “in the awe-inspiring, sacred, and sublime name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”

Best quotes:

  • Reyna I. Aburto quoted John A. Widtsoe on the purpose of Relief Society: “relief of poverty, relief of illness; relief of doubt, relief of ignorance—relief of all that hinders … joy and progress.”
  • Patrick Kearon quoted Paul in Romans 8: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? … Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” [emphasis added in original]

Most unnecessary quote of Russell M. Nelson: Eduardo Gavarret attributed the idea of the Sabbath being a delight to Russell M. Nelson rather than to Isaiah 58:13.

Most obsequious quote of Russell M. Nelson: In the Saturday afternoon session, Quentin L. Cook quoted a line that Russell M. Nelson had said in his talk that same morning. Doing this allowed him to signal to both Nelson (by asking to see his talk before he even gave it) and to us as viewers just what a faithful follower he is.

Best stories:

  • Marcos A. Aidukaitis told of how, when he was of missionary age, many things held him back from going. One was that his university likely wouldn’t hold his spot. Another was that he was romantically interested in a particular woman. He went on his mission, and the university issue worked out, but the woman ended up married to one of his friends. I appreciate that he shared a story where not everything works out perfectly.
  • Becky Craven told of a friend who felt inspired to bring a friend ice cream. They had a good talk, but accidentally left the ice cream to melt, but the friend revealed that she was lactose intolerant. I like the story for showing that neither inspiration nor attempts at service need to be perfect in order to do good.

Worst stories:

  • Eduardo Gavarret told of a time when he was twelve, and he stayed home from church one Sunday, ostensibly with his non-member father, but then sneaked off to play soccer. His priesthood leader saw him and assigned him to teach a lesson to his cohorts on Sabbath day observance. I really don’t like normalizing this type of passive-aggressive guilting.
  • Larry S. Kacher told of a man who skipped stake conference for fear that he would be called as the new stake president. Jonah-like, he was in an accident, but survived, and chastened, returned and accepted a call to be the stake president. Do we really want to believe in a God who has so little regard for people’s agency?
  • Becky Craven told of a teen girl who complained to her that she felt nothing and didn’t know if the Church was true, but of course on questioning, it turned out she wasn’t reading her scriptures or praying or anything. Could we please have more stories that present actually difficult dilemmas, where someone reads and prays and still feels nothing?

Story that is way out of the norm but is presented without comment: Jean B. Bingham said that when she was preparing to go to the temple for the first time, “After interviewing me to determine if I was worthy, my bishop explained the covenants I would make. His careful explanation gave me the chance to think about and be prepared to make those covenants.” I love the idea of it becoming the norm for first-time temple patrons to have all the covenants explained before they even get to the temple, but let’s not pretend that this wasn’t wildly out of the norm in 1972 (the year Bingham was married). I went to the temple first in the 1990s, and I’ve never heard of anyone around my age or older being told all the covenants to expect before going.

Best pattern: Conference speakers typically adhere to the advice I remember from the old purple Missionary Guide to not reveal past transgressions. I feel like this makes speakers seem full of themselves and unapproachable, so I appreciated that a couple of speakers mentioned less-than-perfect things from their pasts. M. Russell Ballard mentioned that he and his family were inactive for some time when he was a kid. Reyna I. Aburto mentioned that she separated from (and presumably divorced) her first husband.

Interesting pattern: Speakers were clearly concerned with not enough missionaries going out as the pandemic is waning. Missionary work was discussed by Russell M. Nelson, M. Russell Ballard, Marcos A. Aidukaitis, Quentin L. Cook, and Gary E. Stevenson.

Worst pattern: As is sadly typical in recent conferences, multiple speakers endorsed a simplistic view of the wicked world standing in opposition to the wonderful Church. The ones who particularly did so in this conference were Neil L. Andersen (he advocated peacemaking, but still framed arguments as the righteous Church members being viciously attacked by evil critics), David A. Bednar, Dallin H. Oaks, and Jörg Klebingat.

Saddest organizational announcement: The General Relief Society Presidency will be released on August 1st. I know this was inevitable because they only get to serve five years, but I have found myself moved by some of the wonderfully humane talks given by Sharon Eubank and Reyna I. Aburto, and I’m sad that I won’t get to hear from them in conference anymore.

Your name will be assimilated into standard format: I noted last fall that the General YW second counselor formerly known as Becky Craven had been introduced as Rebecca L. Craven when she was going to give a prayer. This time she gave a talk, and it appears that her renaming wasn’t a one-off. This time it was not only said as Rebecca L. Craven, but also updated on the page about her on the Church website (although the URL still says “becky-craven”). From the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, it looks like the change happened in two steps between October 3rd and November 15th of last year, and then March 18th of this year. I know this might seem like a small thing to care about, but I think that it’s sad that a leader of teens of all people can’t be permitted to use a more approachable form of her name, and instead is forced to sound appropriately corporate, middle initial and all.

 

Thanks for saying this:

  • M. Russell Ballard, in talking about his mission, mentioned not only his two mission presidents, but also their wives.
  • Neil L. Andersen: “We genuinely love and care for all our neighbors, whether or not they believe as we do.”
  • Sharon H. Porter described the Samaritan woman at the well’s past (five husbands, living with another man without being married to him) as “difficulties,” which seems like a far nicer way than I think many GAs might have chosen.
  • Dieter F. Uchtdorf contrasted “how offerings are measured in [the Savior’s] kingdom” not with how offerings are measured in the world, as many of his colleagues might have, but with “the way we usually measure things” [emphasis added]. I love that he didn’t feel the need to contrast Jesus’s way with the wicked world for the millionth time this conference, but instead reminded us that it’s we who might be thinking of things wrong.

Three favorite talks that I would be happy to see lessons based on:

  • Patrick Kearon, “He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors”. I really appreciated Kearon’s discussion of abuse, especially that he directly addressed the common feeling among abused people that they are somehow deserving of or responsible for being abused. I also loved that he addressed abusers too, and said that nothing anyone can do can make them deserve abuse. This talk seemed like a real step forward from Richard G. Scott’s conference talks on abuse, which were really the only previous conference talks to get into the subject. They were clearly well-intended, but they had some big problems like naively telling abuse victims to try to stop the abuse (as though they wouldn’t have done so if they had power to) and worse, suggesting they needed to figure out whether they might not be partly to blame for being abused.
  • Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Our Heartfelt All”. Uchtdorf not only manages to be so much more encouraging and hopeful than so many of his fellow speakers, he also caught my interest, which is a rare thing for a conference talk. I really liked both his framing of discipleship as not just another concern among other competing interests, but an overarching framing for everything we do, and also his point about how sacrifice and consecration work together.
  • Reyna I. Aburto, We Are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”. I really like her idea that the Church is the members, and we need the community, and we can help make it better for one another.

Three Five least favorite talks that I would be disappointed to see lessons based on:

  • Dale G. Renlund, “Your Divine Nature and Eternal Destiny”. I so do not need to hear the Q15’s chosen messenger explaining to the women that they need to stop asking, seeking, and knocking to know more about Heavenly Mother, and also that the Q15 are not interested in asking, seeking, or knocking on their behalf. There are few more transparent examples of fragile patriarchy-loving men fearing that women will get even a glimpse of an idea that they might be equal. (For a more complete response to this talk, see Katie Rich’s excellent post at the Exponent.)
  • Jörg Klebingat, “Valiant Discipleship in the Latter Days”. Lots of GAs spend parts of their talks complaining about “the world,” and trying to reinforce boundaries against it. Klebingat’s entire talk is nothing but this kind of complaint and boundary drawing. “There is no need to sacrifice truth on the altar of agreeableness and social desirability,” he says. The whole thing reads like an apologia for DezNat.
  • Dallin H. Oaks, “Divine Love in the Father’s Plan”. This is classic Oaks anti-LGBT cruelty, as he opens explaining how much God loves us, and then moved to explain that it’s also God who “required” the Church to oppose gay marriage as well as “changes that homogenize the differences between men and women or confuse or alter gender.” With love like this, who needs hate?
  • Ronald A. Rasband, “To Heal the World”. This is like a bad caricature of a Dallin H. Oaks talk about religious freedom. Rasband takes up the argument that the good members of churches need to unite to defeat the nasty secularists, but he sounds kind of lost, as he didn’t seem to realize, for instance, that not all of the churches whose differences he said can be “healed when we honor God, the Father of us all, and Jesus Christ, His Son” actually believe in Jesus as the Son of God.
  • Larry S. Kacher, “Ladder of Faith”. He tells several stories that he finds faith-promoting, but that I find disturbing. For example, I don’t think it’s helpful, either for members or non-members, to tell a story of a man who, after over two decades of marriage to a member, was finally convinced to get baptized. This type of story has the potential to lead to so much bad feeling if members married to non-members take it as inspiration to harass their spouses more diligently about the Church.

My heretical reviews of past General Conferences:

October 2021
April 2021
October 2020
April 2020
October 2019

17 comments

  1. I demand somewhat write a song called “We don’t talk about Mother” to the tune of “We don’t talk about Bruno”.

  2. Regarding the title “Do What Mattereth Most”, I always wonder how translators handle this. How many other languages have 16th century verb conjugations that differ from modern usage available? Do translators of, say, Mandarin, which I understand does not have verb conjugations at all, regret not being able to convey the full seriousness of talk titles that include KJV grammar?

    I missed the Jörg Klebingat talk. I remember his last talk. It was weird. Whatever happened to Seventies giving pleasant, but bland and forgettable talks? I don’t like remembering talks, much less speakers, for being weird.

  3. Thanks for the review! I don’t listen to conference, but I do like reading the blog posts about it later.

  4. E, yes! There totally should be!

    Quentin, that’s a great question about translation. It’s interesting that English-speaking speakers might be trying to make a point with their Proper Prayer Language that totally fails to cross language lines. And I agree that I wish Seventies would be boring rather than offensive.

    Thanks, Janey! I’m glad you find them helpful.

  5. Any idea why church leaders seem reluctant to talk about the war in Ukraine, or only willing to name it obliquely? The “we don’t talk about Heavenly Mother” thing has been around for my whole life, so that doesn’t surprise me, although it sounds like that particular talk went to pretty great lengths to talk about it without talking about it!

    Also, randomly, I’m so glad you’re all still blogging. I miss the old days of the Bloggernacle, so it always makes me smile to see a post from one of my favorite blogs. Thank you!

  6. That’s a great question, Laura. I heard people suggesting that it’s related to GAs worrying that if they call out Russia over the war, the announced Russia temple will never get built. I don’t know what to think. I have to wonder if that temple wasn’t a long shot to begin with. Or another possibility is that they worry that Mormons in Russia will be harassed or imprisoned or whatever.

    And I’m so glad you’re enjoying still seeing me blogging! I miss the old Bloggernacle too. I hold out hope that I can lure at least one or two of my co-bloggers back at some point, but that might be a long shot too.

  7. Great summary. I really appreciate you doing this so people like me don’t have to digest conference ourselves but we can still say some intelligent things when our grandmothers want to talk about conference highlights! Thank you.

    I noticed Becky Craven went to Rebecca M. Craven to Rebecca L. Craven in the screen grabs you shared. I wonder which is middle name initial and which is maiden name initial and why they changed it?

    (Just looked it up – M is Mitchell (maiden) and L is Lynn (middle). Hmmmm…. I hope the change in initial was a reflection of her preferences and not imposed on her.)

  8. Thanks, Jessica! I’m so glad you find it helpful. You’re exactly the audience I’m shooting for. (Well, also people who watched or read it all, but I’m likely to have less new to say to people who’ve done that.)

    And thanks for tracking down the reason for Becky Craven’s other name change! I agree. I hope it was her choice, but I fear that it was the powers that be telling her that it wasn’t properly dignified to go by “Becky” or no middle initial.

  9. I find it problematic that the LDS leadership is attempting to keep neutrality with the Russian government. One one hand, I understand that they want to keep good relations to further the church proselyting goals into Russia. OTOH, innocent people are being killed, infrastructure destroyed and an entire country is being overrun. One would think that such a situation would require a Christian organization to have an opinion that reflected Good vs Evil — rather than diplomacy.

  10. Funny story with your worst musical number. “Our Prayer to Thee” was written by Russell M. Nelson (the text, anyway). So, not only does everyone and their dog quote President Nelson in their talks, the Tabernacle Choir does too!

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