Utah Senator Mike Lee faced some backlash after he compared Donald Trump to Captain Moroni at a rally yesterday. In response, his office released the following passages of scripture about Captain Moroni to show that, with only a little tweaking, Trump is a perfect fit.
Alma 46:11-13
And now it came to pass that when Trumponi, who was the commander in chief of the armies of the Americans, had heard of these Democrats voting by mail, he was angry with Obamakiah.
And it came to pass that he rent his coat, which was a fur coat, the very finest; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it—In memory of my mammon, my power, my owning of the libs, my wives and my affair partners and my affair partners who became wives and my one-night stands and my prostitutes and my porn stars and the victims of my assaults, and my children, Ivanka especially (and here, behold, he did add a winking emoji)—and he fastened it upon the end of a nine iron.
And he brushed on his majestic skin of orange, and his blue suit, and his red tie, and he girded on his holy MAGA hat about his head; and he took the nine iron, which had on the end thereof his rent coat, (and he called it the title of biglity) and he gathered his advisors and they all bowed themselves down unto him, and he charged them to pray to their God for the blessings of appointing judges and enriching the rich and punishing those with dark skin or an unknown tongue to rest upon him, so long as there should a band of white supremacists remain to possess the land—
Alma 48:11-13
And Trumponi was a large and a bulky man; he was a man of a perfect understanding—neither a sucker nor a loser; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed (unless it was the blood of Dems that was being shed); a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom his office granted him to amass wealth for himself and his family;
Yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his good fortune in becoming president, for the many privileges and blessings which it gave him, both to avoid prosecution for his crimes, and to avoid paying his vast debts; both to pardon criminals who protected him, and to threaten opponents who would prevent him from becoming king; a man who did labor exceedingly to improve his golf game for his people.
Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of mammon, and he had sworn with an oath to defend his wealth, his right to the presidency, and his right to assault women, even to the loss of someone else’s blood.
Thanks for a good laugh in a difficult time! Well done
Well done!! ????
Some very clever turns of phrase in there.
This is muuuch more accurate.
Oooh! Write him as Gadianton next!
SO GREAT!! (Sorry to use all caps like Trumponi)
Fake scripture! 🙁
Spot on!
In the news today Sen. Mike Lee compared Donald Trump to Captain Moroni.
In a related story, Rick Powers just compared Mike Lee to Daffy Duck.
Amen. That’s my idea of inspired text. 😉
Thanks everyone for your comments. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Especially you, Trumponi. Thanks for the laugh!
Ah, thank you. I needed this soooo much! 🙂
Yes!
Chapter 11
5 And all this did he undertake to support himself, and his wives and his concubines; and also his priests, and their wives and their concubines; and his family, and their wives and their concubines. Thus he had changed the affairs of the kingdom.
6 Yea, and thus they were supported in their laziness, and in their idolatry, and in their whoredoms, by the contributions which king Trumpah had requested of his people in an effort to own the Liberalites; thus did the people labor exceedingly to support iniquity.
7 Yea, and they also became idolatrous, because they were deceived by the vain and flattering words of the king and priests; for they did speak flattering things unto them.
8 And it came to pass that king Trumpah built many elegant and spacious buildings; and he ornamented them with fine work of wood, and of all manner of precious things, of gold, and of silver, and of iron, and of brass, and of ziff, and of copper;
9 And he also built a spacious palace that he did call Mar-a-Lago in the land southward, and a field of golf in the midst thereof, all of which was constructed by migrants from beyond the southern borders of the land and was ornamented with gold and silver and with precious things.
10 And he also caused that his workmen should work all manner of fine work within the walls of the presidential hotel that he opened near the capitol, of fine wood, and of copper, and of brass. And this he did to profit and get gain from visiting dignitaries of faraway lands.
11 And the seats which were set apart for the high priests, which were above all the other seats, he did ornament with pure gold; and he caused a network to be built before them, that they might speak lying and vain words unto his people.
12 And it came to pass that he built a tower in the new city of Yorkanihah; yea, a very high tower, even so high that he could stand upon the top thereof and overlook the land of New Jereshemlah, and also the land of Connecticihah, which was possessed by the Libralites; and he could even look over all the land round about.
13 And it came to pass that he caused many buildings and courses of golf to be built in the lands roundabout Yorkanihah; and he caused a great tower of iniquity to be built upon the Jereshemlah Shore, which had been a resort for the children of Nephi at the time they fled out of the land; and thus he did with the riches he obtained through trickery and the deceit of his people.
14 And it came to pass that he placed his heart upon his riches, and he spent his time in riotous living with his wives and his concubines; and so did also his priests spend their time with harlots.