This notice was intended to be published on the Mormon Newsroom today, but because of a technical error on the website, it was not released.
April 15–Although most in the secular world and even in other so-called “Christian” churches have succumbed to the use of the godless Gregorian calendar, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today announces the Christ-Centered Calendar Initiative. As part of this initiative, the Church no longer recognizes the unholy day of “February 29th.”
The Church withdraws recognition of this date going back to the founding of the Church in 1830, meaning that 46 authorized days are restored in place of the unauthorized days, which makes the current date on the Christ-Centered Calendar April 15th. In connection with this withdrawal of recognition, several new policies are also announced, all effective immediately. Church members claiming to have been born or married on “February 29th” are considered to be in apostasy, and face mandatory Church discipline. Children of such couples may not be baptized until they reach age 18, and even then only on condition of their formally renouncing their parents’ calendar choices. This policy will prevent children from becoming confused when they hear discussion of one calendar at home and a different calendar at church. Finally, Church members whose records claim that they died on “February 29th” have their ordinance work declared null and void. They are not eligible to have proxy temple work done in their behalf.
The genesis of this initiative was in the question one Church leader raised about why a loving Heavenly Father would put his children on a planet for which the orbital period did not correspond to a whole number of solar days. After much prayer and fasting, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve concluded that a loving Heavenly Father would not do such a thing. They launched the Initiative to correct the widespread but incorrect belief that a year is other than exactly 365 solar days. A day that is inserted into the calendar some years and not others is no more valid than a book of scripture inserted into the canon without authorization. Just as the Church has long opposed alterations to the scriptural canon, it also opposes alterations to the calendar.
Church leaders are confident that members are well-practiced at standing against the evils of the world, and will have no difficulty adjusting to the Christ-Centered Calendar. The world may believe what it will and reconcile its calendar to seasons according to the wisdom of men, but faithful members of the Church will hold fast: the God who made the sun stand still for Joshua will reconcile the Christ-Centered Calendar to the seasons in his own way and in his own time.
The Church expects persecution for being different in this increasingly secular age. Church leaders emphasize the importance of the Church’s religious liberty to define its own calendar. Additionally, they call on leaders in government to follow the Church in using the Christ-Centered Calendar, ending recognition of so-called “February 29th,” and no longer recognizing the lawless behavior of those who claim to have been married on such a date.
A future press release will discuss changes to Church observance of so-called “Daylight Time” as part of this Initiative.
Heavy handed. Did you ever watch Taxi, the one where Jim (Christopher Lloyd) buys a broken down race horse? The horse died, but no one beat it afterwards.
Have fun.
Glenn
Thanks for your kind feedback, Glenn.
What is the status of those of us who were baptized on Leap Day? Today marks the 13th anniversary of my own baptism in 1964. I’m guessing that it, too, has been declared null and void.
Oh, great point, Mark. I totally overlooked that! Also, happy baptism anniversary!
…except instead of “withdrawing recognition” back to 1830, I think the M.O. is to insist that this is the way it’s always been done.
Ziff, Meant it to be humorous, at least the last part about the horse. There was nothing subtle about your parody, but that is okay. Don’t know if you meant it to be. I guess you have never seen the episode of Taxi that I was referring to. If you did, it would make you smile, cry, or maybe whatever.
Glenn
Yay! My husband is an accountant. Boy am I glad that tax season is over so soon!