Zelophehad’s Daughters

Dear Dr. Freud

Posted by Kiskilili

Recently I dreamed that it turned out Elder Richard G. Scott was some sort of intelligence agent sent to spy on a fellow apostle, a certain Elder Nat Ott. Elder Ott, in turn, had been hired by the Church to spy on Elder Scott. (Alas, the details of the operation escape me.)

What does it all mean?

P. S. By all means, please share your own portentous religious dreams.

16 Responses to “Dear Dr. Freud”

  1. 1.

    Obviously this dream is inspired by the adversary. Elder Ott cannot possibly be a real apostle because he has no initial in his name and Nat is too informal. In order for this to be plausible, he would need to be named something like J. Nathan Ott.

    My dreams are mostly about seven fat books and seven skinny books. You tell me.

  2. 2.

    Quite so! Having a “Nat Ott” among the Twelve would be like sustaining Buck, Butch, or Chuck to the High Council (in President Packer’s memorable phrase).

  3. 3.

    And that makes you officially more Mormon that I am. I didn’t think of Elder Packer’s phrase until you mentioned it.

  4. 4.

    I think you should turn this into a picture book titled “Elder Scott and Elder Ott.” It could go something like this:

    The two apostles,
    Elder Scott
    and Elder Ott,
    never fought

    until one day
    Elder Ott
    was caught
    by Elder Scott

    who said,
    Elder Ott
    you really ought
    to give some thought

    to all this spying.
    I think it’s rot
    so I have bought
    a golden pot

    which will observe you
    quite a lot.
    So do not
    eat that Tater Tot.

  5. 5.

    My dreams are mostly about seven fat books and seven skinny books. You tell me.

    Hmm–did the fat books gobble up the skinny books? Or did they perhaps all combine together in one giant book?

  6. 6.

    I commented on my FB profile a few days ago about a dream I had over the weekend, in which the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was singing the theme from Wonder Pets.

    Nightmare. I’m throwing out the TV.

  7. 7.

    Hilarious, Kiskilili! Also, I love your poem, Lynnette. In fact, I really like the substitution of “ought” for “Ott.” Don’t you think we should have (or ought to have) an Elder Ought in the Quorum of the Twelve? He could be the one who tells us all the ways we’re failing while the others could stick to being more encouraging. It would be a kind of good apostle/bad apostle thing.

    So who among the current Quorum would best fit the Elder Ought role? Hmmmm…

  8. 8.

    Mark, my dream is of like kine to yours.

  9. 9.

    I think that Ziff is right and that Kiskilili misunderstood the new apostle’s name entirely. Elder Nat Ott is really Elder Ought Naught. As for his following Elder Scott, that’s just raught. Gaught it?

  10. 10.

    Ardis, no offense, but that comment is overwrought.

  11. 11.

    Elder Ought Naught needs an initial.

    I suggest Elder U. Ought Naught.

    Lynnette, the books come together and devour me.

  12. 12.

    I thought that if there’s going to be an Elder Ought, he should be the one to instruct about the give proscriptive, positive commandments, while his counterpart, Elder Naught, would reinforce the negative commandments.

    Elder Ought = dress modestly
    Elder Naught = don’t dress like a slut.

    Mark, I LOVE Elder U. Ought Naught.

  13. 13.

    oh wow… I thought I was the only one who dreamed about church leaders! yay, I’m not alone!
    but… I had also better not share these dreams out loud; tmi. sorry freud.

  14. 14.

    I just had a bizarre dream the other day. We were in our current ward, but meeting in a building on campus. It was supposedly my current college campus, but in my dream it looked like the Clyde building at BYU. The bishop needed to speak to me and pulled me into a professor’s office. Then he noticed a photo of the professor with his partner on the desk and got angry. I pointed out that there were Christmas cards from other ward members on the walls, so obviously others in the ward had worked with this professor and knew him, so he must be all right. Then I woke up. I think it means I need to get out of California before it drives me crazy.

  15. 15.

    U. Ought Naught–I love it!

    Well, G, I’ve had more exciting dreams with religious content than this, but I’ll just keep some of those to myself, shall I? ;)

    Too funny, FoxyJ!

  16. 16.

    I clicked to this post from The Apron Stage, because the little “blurb tease” interested me. Little did I know the comments would be equally entertaining, from Lynett’es poem to U. Ought Naught.

    Thanks to all!

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