Zelophehad’s Daughters

On Asking to Be Released

Posted by Vada

I know we’ve talked about this subject before, but since I’m currently debating with myself over it, I decided to bring it up again and let the rest of you debate with me.

I’m currently the leader of the wolf den in cub scouts (with another woman) and the teacher of the 6-7yo primary class (with my husband). I hate it. I’ve been doing them both about 9 months, and I’ve hated them pretty much the whole time. I guess the primary class was okay for two or three weeks, but that’s about it. I knew I wouldn’t like the callings when I accepted them, but I’m a big believer in accepting any and all callings, so I did. (The one exception to this was just before they called me as a primary teacher. They wanted to call me as the primary music director, which I would have liked a lot more than being a primary teacher. Unfortunately, I had a 15mo son and my husband was already a primary teacher (with another guy), so there would have been no one to watch my son.)

I’ve never wanted to be a primary teacher. I don’t connect that well with kids between about 6 and 13. I mean, they’re nice enough, but if I get to pick I’d much rather be around toddlers or teenagers. But there are many callings that need to be filled, and many of them are ones that people wouldn’t pick, so I try and do my part and accept callings even if I don’t particularly like them. (Oh, and I certainly never wanted to be a scout leader. I personally think the church shouldn’t be involved in BSA, but that’s an entirely different discussion that I don’t want to have here.)

So I accepted the calling, and was even faithful about doing it. As time has gone on, I dread it more and more, and I do less and less for it. (For instance, at the beginning my husband and I were switching off who taught the lesson every week; now I make him do it every week, and I just sit in the class and help.) I hate the calling so much that it makes me want to avoid church entirely. No, this is not rational, since the calling pretty much just involves sitting in a room with my husband and some (actually pretty nice, though rather rowdy) 6yos for 40 minutes. Not that big a deal, right? And yet, I dread it. A couple weeks ago when my brother- and sister-in-law were visiting, I thought “Hey, they have two who are going to be in nursery, too, so they’ll probably need extra help in nursery. I can stay in there and get BIL or SIL to go to class with DH.” I know it’s pretty bad when I’m more than willing to go to nursery with my two toddlers (who I see way too much of) just to get out of going to our primary class.

So, I really want to be released. I’m miserable and hating church. But I haven’t yet managed to convince myself that I should ask to be released. Part of this is because I know there are other people who do callings they don’t particularly want to, but they are good and gracious and do them anyway. I feel guilty asking to be released from a calling that really isn’t that hard. I also worry that if I ask to be released, they’ll release my husband as well (because it can be hard to find another guy to teach primary), and my husband actually enjoys the calling and is really good at it. I’d hate to deprive him of the chance to teach just because I don’t want to. I also feel like I can’t ask to be released from cub scouts, because if I don’t do it no one else will. They’re currently trying to fill 4 other cub scout leader callings (and have been for a couple of months), and they can’t. So like I said, if I don’t do it, no one else will.

On the other hand, I’m miserable. I dread church. I hate going. I’m also starting to get bitter and resentful. A few new families have moved into the ward recently, and the wives have been called to do things that I would really love to do. One was called into YW, another to teach RS. And I find that I resent that they get these callings and I don’t. After all, I’ve put in my time in a miserable calling, shouldn’t it be my turn for a good one? Shouldn’t they have to put in their time being miserable before they get to do something good? I hate that I have these thoughts, but that doesn’t stop me from having them (at least sometimes).

One more thing that further complicates my thoughts on the whole affair: I have asked to be released from a calling once (kind of). I was the chorister and a nursery leader in the ward that we moved to right after getting married (and I got called to these soon after moving into the ward). I enjoyed the callings, but after almost a year I still felt like I didn’t know anyone in the ward (except for the few who had 2yos). I was feeling very alone since I also didn’t have friends outside of church (I had moved to a new state when I got married and didn’t know anyone), so I determined that I would ask the bishop if they could call someone as a substitute nursery leader to take my place once a month so that I could go to RS and get to know some of the adults in the ward. I made an appointment with the bishop, told him my concerns, and asked if they could do this. His reply was that they’d actually been planning on calling me to another calling, and the next week they called me as the RS secretary, where I got to know the sisters of the ward really well. It really made me feel as if the Lord was aware of me and what I needed. So now I’m even more hesitant to ask to be released, because if the Lord’s that aware of me, doesn’t he know what I need now? Wouldn’t he inspire my current leaders to call me somewhere else? Does he really need me to keep being miserable and do what I’m doing?

I have no answers, just lots of questions. And lots of passive-aggressiveness. And way too much over-thinking. But thanks for listening to my ramblings. Please feel free to share advice (kindly), or your own personal experiences.

39 Responses to “On Asking to Be Released”

  1. 1.

    Better to get released than to leave the Church. But better still, this is a chance to turn to your Bishop as a counselor and friend.

    Don’t overthink it.

  2. 2.

    vada, I’m going though a very similar thing right now.
    I’m staying out of a sense of obligation, but getting more and more antagonized and disaffected each week (I was hoping this calling would help, would ease my time at church. it hasn’t)

    I think Steve Evans comment is a good one…. but not something I have had the initiative to do yet. If I get released from this calling…. I don’t think I will come back to church. and that is slightly terrifying to me too.

  3. 3.

    I cried every Sunday for a month after being called to Primary. I have very similar feelings about the age range you mentioned. My solution was a heart to heart talk with the Primary president.

    She was shocked that I don’t really like kids in that age range. Then she was very accommodating and moved me to the CTR 5 class. The CTR 5 teacher, whose job I took, didn’t mind teaching 7 year olds. My class is wonderful. Energetic, yes. Loud, yes, BUT I don’t dread Sunday as much anymore. Don’t get me wrong… I don’t love Primary, but I do love my class.

  4. 4.

    Is part of the burnout that you’re trying to do these with your 15 month old? it sounded when you mentioned music leader that you had to combine actively doing your own childcare with calling’s work. Are you now doing that, and woudl removing that pressure help? It comes to mind because back when you mentioned turning it down, I thought, “what, can’t they put her toddler in nursery to free her up for the calling?” and if they could have tried it for music leader, they could just as well accommodate you that way as a teacher.

    Just a thought. My real advice is same as Steve’s.

  5. 5.

    i’ve recently been asked to be released. and told them which calling i would do. mostly because i am the only one able to play the piano for primary. i think that if you’re hating it, talk to the bishop. once upon a time i was hating my calling. and boy was i bitter. is there any way to switch with someone else once or twice a month with the primary class? as for cub scouts, i have nothing to say. such a hard job. i think that calling would be enough. why does your husband need you with him? are there that many kids that they need two adults? i should think he would be fine on his own.

  6. 6.

    Write things down that you want to say, schedule an appointment and do it.

    PTSD + Chronic Illness, with a demanding calling and a demanding school schedule kicked my butt, and removing the stress of the calling made the rest seem bearable.

    Take care of yourself, and then help others.

  7. 7.

    Get a copy of ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK’s “Please release me, let me go” and play it non-stop in front of the Bishop’s office. 8-)

  8. 8.

    Terina (#5): If I understand correctly, current policy states that a man cannot teach a primary class alone. A woman can be alone with children, but not a man.

    Some jobs, nobody wants to do. If nobody in your ward will do cub scouts, then you are absolutely doing your ward a great service. That doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it if you dislike it too much, but it means at least you’re doing something important nobody else is willing to do – and thats something.

    Have you tried just skipping out on it once or twice a month? What would happen if your husband just did it on his own sometimes? Are they really sticklers for the policy in your ward or would they let it slide?

    In general, I think it is perfectly acceptable to ask to be released from a calling.

  9. 9.

    I would not ask to be released, but I would outline to the PP and/or bishop exactly what you said here about your feelings and I would not tone it down one bit. (I think this is about the same as what Steve said.) They will probably release you, and you will not have to feel guilty for asking! If they don’t, then I’d do some serious praying about asking to be released. If I felt I should stay in the calling, I would, but then at least I’d know that it was truly God that wanted me in this position. And if your prayers are answered that it is OK to ask, then you don’t have to feel guilty!

  10. 10.

    I really like ed42’s suggestion.

    At some points (now long past) in my relationship with the church, I’ve strongly endorsed the idea that one should never ask to be released. All I can say is that for me such beliefs ended up being extremely destructive both to my relationship with the church and to my mental health. In some cases callings I had once loved (YW president) became more and more burdensome and miserable due to changed circumstances in my own life; in other cases (stake RS presidency, my personal calling from hell), the calling was awful from the outset, as it sounds like this one has been for you, Vada. In all cases by the time I’ve finally asked–demanded, actually!–to be released (I’ve been through this cycle three or four times now), I was so miserable, my relationship with the church and with God so eviscerated by the calling–I assumed God was enjoying my suffering–that I was on the verge of inactivity. In more than one case the calling had taken such a toll that I did spend a couple of months on vacation from church recovering.

    I finally realized that in my case (certainly not presuming to speak for anyone else here) the beliefs that one should never ask to be released, we should patiently, smilingly do whatever we’re asked for years or decades, that if God really wanted me to stop suffering He would inspire the bishopric to change my calling, were fueling a very destructive spiritual cycle. I’ve become much more picky about which callings I’m willing to accept in the first place, and much more assertive about managing my church service. My new policy is not to accept any calling, no matter how small, without giving myself a week to consider it prayerfully and thoughtfully. We’ll see how that goes. Further adjustments to my approach will no doubt be necessary, but I can say that I’m already much, much happier.

    Honestly, I have no theological rationale whatsoever for this new approach. We covenant to give everything we have to the church. Frankly, I’m simply not living up to that covenant anymore, or even trying to, but as I’ve decided about other issues I’d simply rather have a happy, balanced life here and now than try to strive for celestial misery.

    So please take my very terrestrial thoughts for whatever they’re worth. ;)

  11. 11.

    Sometimes it takes someone else to help. Do you have anyone you would feel comfortable sharing this with, that could go to the Bishop for you?

    I did this once, for my mom, who could not bring herself to do it. She had just moved into a new ward, my dad was serving in a campus stake calling, and she was going through some terrible health and personal issues. She got a calling that was completely inappropriate for her at that time. She cried for a week but couldn’t get up the guts to say anything. So l found out where her new Bishop lived and went to his house and laid it all out on the table. I told him my mother would never refuse a calling but that this one didn’t seem right. He said he had no idea, and he was grateful I had told him. He said he would think about it more. That’s all I wanted, for him to have more information. She was a little upset that I had stepped in, but relieved all the same. When her Bishop called her to change her calling, he actually said he had only made the other calling as a filler, till he could think of where to put her. Hmmm…lots of inspiration there. I really believe there are CALLINGS and then there are callings – some definitely more inspired than others.

    I also agree with what Steve Evans said.

  12. 12.

    #8 we have at least four men in our primary teaching without their spouse in our ward. none of us have given it a second thought.

  13. 13.

    Sometimes when we hear all the miraculous stories about how someone just knew how and when to help a person in pain, we forget that the Spirit works best by acting on knowledge. It is unfair to expect your bishop or primary president to know how to help you if you are not willing to speak up and counsel with them. There is a reason so many stories of the Spirit are done without knowledge, and that is because it is the exception and not the rule.

    I agree with what others have said. You should express your feelings to them, rather than simply asking for a release outright. They may not release you, but be able to help make your calling more bearable, or help you learn and grow to be able to bear it better. They are your leaders; help them lead you.

  14. 14.

    Eve—I will say that part of our covenant to dedicate all we have to the church is to be a wise steward of all we have, so long as we have it. If you are running faster than you are able to, you are not being a wise steward.

    I find that most of the time a person says “always” or “never”, they are not listening to the wise voice of reason.

  15. 15.

    I’ve had several conversations about this sort of thing with my dad and he said that when he was in leadership positions he was counseled to be very careful when extending callings. Lots of people tend to barge right in on the topic, saying things like “We’d like to call you to serve in the Nursery” right off the bat. When you do it like that then the person has to force you to listen to whatever circumstances might be a problem, which isn’t likely to happen.

    Instead they should say something like “We’ve been looking for someone to serve in the nursery and wanted to talk to you about it.” From there he’d ask very leading questions; questions about how the person feels about children, their other responsibilities, the family’s needs- essentially giving the person plenty of opportunities to raise concerns, and to think the issue through. Only after that, if everything seems appropriate, then you say “we’d like to call you serve in the nursery.”

    In short, one should never say no to calling because one should never be extended a calling that s/he would say no to. I’d think that leaders should also remember that, for example, you might feel inspired to contact Sister Soandso about a calling not because she should be filling that calling per se, but because you need to know something about her life.

    I’ll agree with the other’s in echoing Steve. Tell someone that you’re unhappy- if they’re any good then they will want to fix it.

  16. 16.

    Starfoxy,
    That is great advice. Is there anyway you can send out a letter about how to extend callings to all the bishoprics in the church?
    Hmm, maybe an insert into the CHI. . .
    Thanks for the thread. I”m sure i’ll refer back to it in the future.

  17. 17.

    Silver Rain, well, it’s complicated. (Threadjack to follow; my apologies, Vada). I think your interpretation of the covenant in question has a definitely appeal, but I’m genuinely unsure to what extent it’s warranted by the wording of the covenant itself. And I would certainly agree that being a wise steward is a profoundly doctrinal and scriptural concept, but the relationship of that concept to the covenant in question is also far from clear. What the covenant and the concept together mean on the ground of our actual lived religious lives is I think precisely what’s in question on this thread.

    Similar issues arise with the extent to which the “wise voice of reason” plays and ought to play a role in our religious lives. Not that I think religion is or should be conceived as wholly irrational, but it’s certainly extra-rational. And “always” and “never” injunctions are actually pretty central to our faith; we’re constantly–and rightly, in my view–told always to live the law of chastity, for instance, and never to be deliberately unkind.

    But that’s several other kettles of fish at quite an abstract remove from Vada’s very practical and immediate question, so I’ll stop now so that the more useful discussion can resume . ;)

  18. 18.

    I’ll echo what Anonymous said. Start by talking to the Primary President.

    I was in a circumstance where I would not be able to do my music calling for over half a year and I was stressed and had talked to the bishopric member in charge of the calling a number of times and made tentative arrangements to have someone cover for me. Nothing seemed to be working.

    What I learned: first, I was trying to make arrangements for something that wasn’t my stewardship. Didn’t work.

    Second, the ward music chair was not doing her job. (A number of reasons.) After she was released, a new music chair was called for the ward. I presented her with the problem. By the end of the sacrament meeting in which she was sustained, she had the perfect solution that has blessed a number of lives in very real ways.

    So, if you have a problem like this, take it first to the person whose stewardship it is (in your case it would be the Primary President) so the presidency can pray over the situation in their presidency meeting. If nothing gives in the situation, you should probably approach the bishop.

    That’s my 2¢ worth.

  19. 19.

    I’d just add a slight caveat to the excellent advice to talk to your bishop. A great deal depends on your bishop and on your relationship with him. Most ecclesiastical leaders with whom I’ve shared calling concerns have been wonderful, compassionate and understanding. But I was once in a situation of calling misery, and meeting with the ecclesiastical leader accomplished nothing. He decided to leave me in the calling and did nothing to alleviate the situation, which I had to figure out for myself because he never got back to me to tell me that was his decision. Three months later things had deteriorated to the point that I met with him again and skipped straight over expressing my concerns and even asking to be released to simply quitting, right then and there.

    I don’t tell this story to slam the poor guy. He was a good man, and in general we got along very well–even my quitting conversation was a civil, pleasant one. But he was overworked and burned out in his own calling and was, I think, just in survival put-out-fires mode. So I had to make my limits clear and non-negotiable.

    Since that experience, I’ve found it useful to prepare for such conversations very carefully. This partly because I’m so bad at thinking on my feet that I need to think through exactly what it is I want to convey to the bishop and exactly what outcome or outcomes I hope for. I also find it helpful to think through various alternative outcomes–if the bishop makes light of my concerns and just tells me to suck it up, how will I respond? Are there modifications or helps I could propose or request that would make the calling more bearable? On which of these points am I willing to negotiate, and on which am I unwilling? If the bishop is reluctant to release me, could I propose a general time limit–I can do this for three more months, and that’s it, or I can do this until the fall when the ward will double in size (?)

    But that’s just me. As I said, I frequently find myself paralyzed in the middle of difficult conversations and in my paralysis I too often fall into politely accepting situations with my lips (I’m such a good Mormon girl. I hate that about myself.) when my brain is screaming, “Pleeeease release me, let me gooooo…” So I have to plan everything out. if I could send the bishop a carefully worded memo instead of actually meeting with him, I probably would.

  20. 20.

    This is a super helpful post. I’m actually a thirty-something bishop of one of the commenters above, who shared the post with me. I can only speak for myself, but callings and releases seem to be very different animals. In most cases, I spend a lot of time thinking and praying about who to call to which callings, who needs which callings, who needs a calling refresh, and so forth, but rarely ask the question “who needs to be released from their calling?” It’s usually tied to calling someone to fill your current calling or calling you to do something else.

    Releases are probably as impactful on personal lives as callings, but it’s not what I’m thinking about as I ponder new ward directions. I see the fault in my practice (or lack thereof).

    Assuming I’m not alone, I’d say it’s imperative to talk to your primary president and/or bishop and let her/him know what you feel, what you’ve tried, and where you’re at. Asking for a change is not the same as not supporting your bishop. And if your bishop doesn’t take action immediately, it’s really OK to put a bug in his ear again. Truly.

  21. 21.

    Steve and Bishop Dave said it already. There advice is wonderful.

    Talk openly and honestly with your Primary President first – then your Bishop if nothing is happening. Tell them you WANT to serve, but this particular calling is killing you spiritually. Put it that bluntly, but phrase it in terms of your desire to serve; don’t leave any doubt that you are trying to quit the Church, but rather that you need to serve somewhere else.

  22. 22.

    I am divided:

    Generally, I am and advocate of being your own best advocate and asking for a release when needed. Yet, it is so sad that your husband loves the calling and would most likely lose it if you quit. I wonder if you could simply change your perspective from “I’m serving these rowdy 6 year olds” to “I”m serving my husband so he can have this fun (for him) calling”? I know, easier said than done.

    The Cub callings is harder. I too have issues with BSA and plan to turn down any scout calling brought my way because I know it would be unbearable to me. If these callings are so hard to fill (and I think they often are), I say your ward should cut the program lose. I have been in a few wards with no Cubs/Scouts and heaven knows I never missed it.

    It seems unfair that you should have BOTH of these callings–I am sure either one could be very time-consuming. I am sure your PP would like to hear your thoughts/feelings. Maybe she has the perfect man in mind and just had no other man with whom he could team-teach? You never know.

  23. 23.

    Oh–maybe re-iterate your interest in a music calling, especially after your child is nursery-age. Those are often hard to fill, and you never know, they may need someone. Even mentioning you are available to substitute could do the trick.

  24. 24.

    Teach the kids to memorize the names of Joseph Smith’s wives.

    That should do nicely.

  25. 25.

    #7– I hadn’t heard of that song so I looked it up on youtube. WOW!! What a video! It’s like a horror show of 80s interior “design.”

    Vada, Bishop Dave, Julie and Steve said it all better than I could. Best of luck.

  26. 26.

    Speaking from past experience I have mixed emotions about asking to be released.

    While serving as Bishop I never had one person ask to be released except one of my Primary teachers who said that after 35 years in that calling she thought it was time. I concluded that she was correct.

    What I do recall is how many individuals told me that they thought I was making a mistake and how could I even consider extending that calling to them. I found that most found the silver lining and had an enriching experience as they magnified the calling.

    I think there have many positive suggestions in the posts above. If this calling is effecting your emotional health then you need to express this to your Bishop immediately. I must admit l liked ESO’s suggestion about seeking the strength to serve compassionately, but again not at the expense of your emotional health.

    I cannot agree more with the BSA comments. I shut down the Cub Scout program in my ward and combined with the other wards in the stake. The scouting nazi’s in the ward were outraged initially but they got over it.

  27. 27.

    I agree with Bishop Dave’s comments, but I can add one tiny caveat? (Note, IANAB, but I know several.)

    Don’t, as part of the discussion on the situation surrounding your calling, mention other callings you’d like to have instead.

    I’ve been in two situations where I had to discuss my calling situation — one, when I had a stake calling and graduate school class scheduling would prohibit me from continuing to serve (I couldn’t have made it to a certain weeknight weekly meeting for the next 4 months), and two, when I had three callings and grad school and a family and I just couldn’t do it all anymore.

    In both cases, I took it the appropriate authorities and outlined my concerns. I didn’t try to offer a solution. As Julie says, it tends to take care of itself…

  28. 28.

    My Bishop just normally gives people what they ask for.

  29. 29.

    Don’t, as part of the discussion on the situation surrounding your calling, mention other callings you’d like to have instead.

    I think this one really depends on the spirit in which you discuss the callings you’d like to have, the specific callings you request, and the general tenor of the conversation. I definitely wouldn’t recommend marching into the bishop’s office and demanding to be placed in the RS presidency, for instance, so that you can whip all the women of the ward into shape. But I’ve twice asked to be a nursery worker (in part to get out of RS, although I didn’t necessarily share THAT part of my motive) and in both cases the bishops were delighted to call someone who actually wanted the calling to a position they generally found difficult to fill. So as with so much else in such situations, it really depends.

  30. 30.

    In the world wide leadership training meeting on Feb 9, 2008, Elder Oaks said “An inspired priesthood leader ought to start off with the proposition that busy parents ought not to have multiple callings.”

  31. 31.

    Our current and former bishops both refused to call a husband and wife to time and energy intensive callings if they had children at home – except in rare situations when the inspiration simply was undeniable. I served for a time as a primary teacher and pianist while my wife was the YW secretary and all six of our kids were in school. I know that is a luxury in some units, but I appreciate that it is a suggestion from the Brethren.

  32. 32.

    Sorry I haven’t responded to any comments yet, I haven’t been able to get to the computer much the last couple of days. Thanks for all the great advice so far, and I’ll be back to reply soon.

  33. 33.

    Just be really, really careful. At one time I was counselor to a what I called “the primary nazi”. I finally couldn’t stand never being able to say anything (it was her way or no way.) I lasted for about a year and a half before asking to be released. After that I was called to be the Activity Days leader. A year and a half later when our ward was split, the primary nazi asked me if I wanted to keep the same calling or try something else. I decided that since she was asking (callings from the Lord? yeah, right!), I wanted to do something else.

    The problem with this is that the Nazi’s husband had just been called into the Bishopric over Primary. She told him that I have ask to be released from every calling I have ever had–guess who has been a Sunday School teacher ever since!

    I would love to do something else, but my youngest will be 8 soon, I can’t do Activity Days anymore. Absolutely nothing against Activity Days, I just want to be challenged. I pinned the Nazi’s husband down and he admitted that I have a reputation–as long as he’s in the bishopric, I will never be called to do anything new.

  34. 34.

    I recently told the bishopric that it would be good if I could be released from being a Webelos leader. (Work commitments were conflicting with the calling). About a month later I was released. No biggie.

    I still teach the boys in Primary. Also no biggie.

  35. 35.

    I’ve never been a bishop but I’ve worked closely with several. Every bishop I’ve known well would absolutely want to know your feelings and want to help. You need to help them to help you by communicating with them, rather than letting the situation fester. Go armed with various suggestions that would work for you and an open mind

    And if you happen to have a bad apple for a bishop, then do as one poster above suggested and just quit. It’s just a calling; it’s not worth your love for the Church or your mental health.

  36. 36.

    I do not mean to offend, but It seems there is a hole missing in these comments. You went into this calling as a chore and your MIND was made up at the beginning that you would dislike it… How will the Lord teach you and expand your abilities if you fight him with every thought? Thought is father to the deed and your thoughts about this are all negative. Maybe the Lord is trying to teach YOU, not just the kids. Change your perspective about it… like ESO said above, look at it as a way of serving your Husband if nothing else. Service is one of the refining fires … that means it’s hard sometimes. I know, not the answer/rationalization you are looking for. I don’t agree that you never ask to be released , sometimes the leaders DO need your imput as to what is possible for you. But just the fact that you don’t like it? That seems like a huge cop out.
    Sorry if I offended you. It wasn’t the intent.

  37. 37.

    I wandered across your blog and I have really been enjoying reading it, so I hope you don’t mind if I comment!

    Several years ago, I and my inactive companion were called to visit teach a nonmember who spoke no English. Unfortunately, I speak only English. At the time, I was extremely ill from pregnancy and all day, every day, flat on my back. I accepted the calling, but explained that due to current circumstances I would not actually be able to fulfill it. Each month, when it was time to report visiting teaching, I again explained that I was still willing but unable and if they wanted the calling done, they needed to give it to someone else. After a few months, I was released.

    A BYU religion professor once told me that when his wife was in the primary presidency, he learned that many callings are made out of inspiration and many callings are made out of desperation.

    Someone else – I don’t remember who – told me that some callings are made because the person needs to serve in that calling, and others are made because the person extending the calling needs to become aware of a situation.

    It’s been very nice to spend my Sunday afternoon reading such good advice; I hope to become a regular reader. Thank you.

  38. 38.

    Comment away! We love comments, so we’re glad you wandered by. :) Unfortunately all of our permabloggers seem to be caught up in their offline lives right now (myself included), so our blog’s been a little dead. But death is not the end! I have plans to revive it sometime in the near future.

    Wow! That does not sound like it was the most appropriate calling for you, given the circumstances!

  39. 39.

    Interesting post, Vada. I really like Bishop Dave’s point (#20) about callings being given more thought than releasings. I’ve never been in a calling where I called people or even recommended that they be called, but this seems like an obvious truth of my experience and of people I’m close to. Releasing doesn’t appear to be considered unless (1) it’s forced (e.g., by the person moving), (2) there’s another person to be called to the position, or (3) the person is needed for another position.

    This whole discussion fits very nicely with Eve’s Inspired Call post. If even callings, which take the name that suggests the hand of God, frequently aren’t all that inspired, how much less then are releasings, which we don’t even bother to call by a name that hides their administrative nature?

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