Zelophehad’s Daughters

Goals and Programs

Posted by Kiskilili

When I was a Young Woman I like to think I was deeply religious. I prayed morning and night, read my scriptures daily, and attended my meetings, including weekly activities. I happily participated in Girls’ Camp, signed up for Education Week twelve years in a row, and avoided the twin evils of R-rated movies and caffeinated beverages. (Or maybe I only think I was religious then by contrast, having become so irreligious now! ;) )

I also resisted, tooth and nail, the Young Women’s program, refusing under any circumstances to earn what I derisively referred to as a “charm necklace.” Every year I would stoutly attempt to negotiate with my leaders in an effort to receive a series of zeroes on my annual progress reports (it generally failed–”but you’ve accomplished so many goals without even knowing it, dear,” they’d argue. But then, that wouldn’t be a goal, if you could accomplish it without setting it, would it?). I took on a service project that ostensibly was to count as a 20-hour Laurel project but promptly dropped it once I’d reached hour 19. For reasons I can only reconstruct now, I felt adamantly that refusing to participate in The Program was a matter of personal integrity.

Of course, there was the slight problem that while still a Beehive I’d torn my YW goal-book limb from limb one afternoon in a fit of temper, and I was entirely too embarrassed to try to explain this to my gentle leaders, who I feared would not be able to process such behavior, so I claimed instead that it was “lost” (i.e., in a landfill).

But my resistance went deeper than an unconfessed temper tantrum. What I think I reacted to intensely was especially the pressure to earn the award, combined with the implicit equation of one’s personal commitment to God in all its complexity with a publicly displayed piece of jewelry. I felt that I would quite literally be compromising my relationship with God if I acceded to a system that concretized and codified it as a simple checklist of activities that were ultimately outside my control. I wanted to be the author of my religious goals, and I wanted to keep their fulfillment entirely private; I did not wish for them to be pawed over and assessed by a cadre of hovering adults.

(This, of course, is not to say that people who did earn such awards did in fact compromise their relationships with deity by any means, but simply that, in the circumstances I was in, it was my strong conviction. Call me neurotic if you must.)

Years later I would similarly balk when a home teacher set a goal for me to pray with more sincerity–it seemed so presumptuous for another person to intrude on my personal worship, dictate its terms, and profess the authority to evaluate it. (Setting goals for other people’s behavior is never, to my mind, a wise idea.)

Yet ironically, I, The Program’s most recalcitrant detractor, remain to this day a compulsive goal setter. Some part of me adores programs with all their attendant colors and booklets and stepping-stones and ceremony. The problem is, I’m not a compulsive goal-achiever. In fact, it takes so much energy to organize my various goals that I periodically set them, promptly lose track of them, and then start over completely, reorganizing them again.

Right now I’ve categorized my goals into eight color-coded areas. Perhaps, if I can manage this time to make progress in even one area, I’ll buy myself a commemorative charm necklace to celebrate. :)

What are others of your experiences with programs–good or bad, programs you’ve devised yourself or programs that were thrust upon you? In what circumstances are goals helpful, and how do we motivate ourselves to achieve them? Are there circumstances in which goals are unhelpful?

27 Responses to “Goals and Programs”

  1. 1.

    Sorry to be off-topic, but would it be possible for you guys to provide a full-post RSS feed, rather than just the first paragraph? Thanks.

  2. 2.

    I had a similar experience with the Young Women’s program. I probably could have easily fulfilled the goals using things I had “already done.” But, as you say, then it wasn’t intentional. And the stupid program didn’t mean anything to me.

    I guess not completing the program was also my one teenage indulgence in rebellion. My mother felt like a failure because I hadn’t finished, and so I refused to finish so she would have to acknowledge I was a successful person because of my own accomplishments, not some silly necklace I didn’t care about.

    And scouting is dumb too. :D

  3. 3.

    My mother felt like a failure because I hadn’t finished, and so I refused to finish so she would have to acknowledge I was a successful person because of my own accomplishments, not some silly necklace I didn’t care about.

    That makes good emotional sense to me! :) I think it’s particularly problematic when parents push their kids to accomplish things but treat these things as though they are the parents’ failures or achievements rather than the kids’. Seems like a recipe for rebellion.

  4. 4.

    In my real life I set and achieve a lot of goals. Yet the whole idea of organizing them and color-coding them is kind of contrary to my personality. Not wrong on principle, just wrong for me. ;)

    And my teen attitude towards the booklet and charms to earn seems a little like yours, see here. ;)

  5. 5.

    I could have written a similar post. I was (am?) devout in the things that mattered to me, but I simply could not see my way to wanting to earn that Medallion. So I didn’t.

    Now dh and I tease each other sometimes about it–if he messes up I say, “Well, what can you expect–you didn’t make Eagle Scout!”, and he’ll shoot back, “Yeah, and you didn’t get your Young Women’s medallion!”

    Now my eldest two are in the same quagmire of Young Women in Excellence pressure, and I admit my attempts at encouraging them are halfhearted. They are both very accomplished and driven young women, so I help them categorize the things they already do into the various areas of their PP books. I think when a person already has a strong internal drive for learning and trying new things, things like necklaces and statues (given by our Stake to PP finishers) seem like a cheap and inadequate symbol of trying to fit that drive into the mold of a Program.

    Having been an Activity Days leader, I saw that some girls were very motivated by charms and such, but I found that as long as the activities were interesting, fulfilled a purpose, and let them work together, they were fine with that, too.

  6. 6.

    I’ve been in YM since forever and work with probably 300 or 350 young men over the years.

    One of the very best of them (self-motivated, mature beyond his years, loved the gospel) absolutely refused to earn so much as the tenderfoot badge. He was happy to associate with the other boys and go on monthly campouts, etc, and he even learned the skills associated with BSA rank advancement and merit badges. I talked with him about it a few times. I’m afraid I was part of the cadre of hovering adults.

  7. 7.

    That’s cute, C.L.–at least you merely defaced your book, rather than destroying it. ;)

    Thanks for your comment, Idahospud–the problem seems to be that in the community we sometimes make the medallion a measure of a person’s devoutness, which in reality it simply can’t be. It’s not that it’s bad; it’s simply that it’s limited.

  8. 8.

    Well Mark, just remember this young man’s eternal salvation hung in the balance of whether or not he successfully earned his tenderfoot badge. ;)

    No, in all seriousness, adolescents may be the most difficult group in the Church to work with. I stand in awe of anyone who’s worked with 300-350 of them.

  9. 9.

    This post is making me want to write a reminiscence that starts thus:

    When I was a Young Woman I like to think I was deeply irreligious. I may have gone a decade without uttering a real prayer, I read my scriptures and attended my meetings only under extreme duress, and my favorite words were “damn” and “hell”….However, like Kiskilili I did happily participate in Girls’ Camp, and I signed up for Education Week for a few years, anyway.

    But to get to the point of your post: I came to a similar conclusion about the YW program, although for very different reasons, I think. I did a few goals when I was a Beehive, but I quickly realized that there was something a little shady about the whole thing–as you mentioned, my leaders were constantly trying to invent goals for me retrospectively so that I could fill in all the blanks. In addition, I was haunted by a ridiculous good-girl image that had followed me from Primary and had dramatic ideas that the (read: my) entire universe would collapse if I failed Beehives, so I lied and made up a few goals I hadn’t done so that I could maintain my image with my teachers–and myself. I had totally abandoned the program before I made it to MiaMaids because my Personal Progress book had become a lie I didn’t know how to undo.

    I revisited the whole issue again in spades on my mission. The conclusion I rapidly came to was the the entire elaborate apparatus of formalized goals was really a test of my integrity. The point wasn’t to meet (or even make) all of the goals I was supposed to; that, I quickly realized, was impossible. The point was to tell the truth about what I’d actually done regardless of the consequences–which were sometimes relatively unpleasant.

    Just recently I had a conversation with an RM who, halfway through his mission, sat in zone conference, counted up the number of hours the APs had laid out for daily schedules, and realized that by their calculations of what he should be doing, there were 25 hours in the day. At that point, he said, he felt an enormous sense of liberation; he realized the whole thing was ridiculous, and he started telling them exactly what they wanted to hear so that he could get the leadership off his back and just go about his business. I’ve heard other RMs say almost exactly the same thing, and I completely and totally sympathize with their approach. That wasn’t the tack I myself took–I’m fundamentally too rebellious a soul to do well at telling people what they want to hear; I simply can’t miss an opportunity to growl–but I do completely understand why people did. I think there’s a good case to be made that it’s morally preferable to continued growling.

    Something’s gone outrageously wrong when our programs become a test of our integrity–or, depending on one’s point of view, a silly, pointless series of hoops through which one must hop in order to get one’s priesthood leaders to leave one alone.

  10. 10.

    And the ultimate irony is that like Kiskilili, I’m a goal-setting maniac. I set goals for myself constantly. I love giant systems that promise to improve and transform my whole life. The problem is that I don’t like other people attempting to impose them on me; I want to make up my own vast, color-coded system myself ;) .

    Which is why Pursuit of Excellence is not part of my life. Back when we lived in Wymount during the first couple of years of our marriage our overzealous Pursuit of Excellence leader used to go around the quad and put goals sheets and lists of goals on everyone’s clipboard by their door…aaargggh! I don’t want to have to hide behind my own curtains from the Goal Police!

  11. 11.

    I rebelled against achieving my medallion as well because I always felt it was just busy work, and some half-hearted attempt at equaling the scouting program for the boys.

    After a lot of pressure, I went ahead and filled out “goals” of things I was already doing that would count, and eventually got my necklace (which I wore the Sunday I received it and never again).

    Now, 20 years after I first became a beehive and was initiated into the program, I am on the other side of the coin as a young women’s leader. It took a lot of prayer and pondering for me to feel that I wasn’t being hypocritical when I discussed the Personal Progress Program with my girls.

    For me, I have come to believe it has 3 purposes:

    1) It fits the personalities of people who like to check things off lists, and helps those who don’t have some kind of idea on how to set goals and achieve them. Goal setting to a 12 year-old does not come naturally. But, I do feel that it is a good skill to learn (even if it is not always attained).

    2) It helps the girls see that without even realizing it they are accomplishing things that draw them closer to God and develop skills they will need as adults. Sometimes we really don’t recognize all that we do; small service here, the talent discovered there, tons of little things can go unnoticed in a busy life. And P.P can help girls realize that they are moving forward, changing, and they can feel a sense of pride (the good kind) in their development.

    3) It gives some kind of structure for leaders to follow in creating useful activities for young woman. It is HARD to come up with activities, lessons, firesides, programs, etc. for the youth. And then to make it something worthwhile is even trickier. As a leader, P.P. gives you a place to turn when you have to come up with 50 activities in a year. And it’s also a way to talk to your girls about their own understanding of the gospel, their own testimony, their own path. Without a reason to check, it would be easy to assume that everything was okay, and not realize that a girl is struggling or has questions.

    This is how I have come to make peace with Personal Progress. And I tell the young women that it’s about their own development, so they can make it (and use it) any way they want.

  12. 12.

    Liz, I’m not currently in YW but I was for a long time, and so I too had to consider it from the difficult other side of the coin (oh, I well remember the desperation to come up with something to do in a small branch that at times had only two YW!).

    I too tried hard to strike a balance between appropriate encouragement and respect for the YW’s own choices. I wanted to support and help them if they decided to do PP, but I also wanted it to be their choice to do it–and to make it clear that what really mattered was their spiritual lives, not the means they used to improve those spiritual lives, which might or might not include PP.

    I had a counselor who actually told me not to tell the girls that I hadn’t done my own PP, which I thought was ridiculous, but she also really wanted her own daughter to get the medallion, and she wanted ME to apply the pressure! There was just no way I was going to get involved in that particular family disagreement.

  13. 13.

    One of my YW leaders hit me on the head with her rolled-up manual as she got up to leave after unsuccessfully trying to convince me to fill out the forms and receive my award. I guess she was trying to knock some sense into me?

  14. 14.

    Ah, the memories this brings . . . of scouting. (shout out to Liz #2) How useless I thought it was. Still do, actually. And, Kiskilili hits one of my biggest problems that I’ve always had, other people trying to set my goals for me. Luckily, even when people tried to apply pressure, it never really amounted to anything. (Not even my mission president, even though he did scare me in some other ways!) On the miss, we would have these daily record sheets which would have every single mission lifestyle “rule” on them which you would mark if you “broke” one of them. (almost all of them were all minor things, but I dont’ remember what they exactly were. I’ll have to dig through my stuff to find out.) I never met a missionary who hadn’t marked his at least 4-5 times every 6 weeks, but we’d still get grilled by our mission president about them. He’d always ask me, “How about setting a goal to improve this?” To which I would respond, “I’ll do what I can, but I know me well enough that I’m just gonna break them again.” Which would then go into a long discussion about the importance of self-improvement, which I would mention that I was improving in other ways, not defined by the paper, and we’d end in a stalemate. Good times!

  15. 15.

    Amen, Kiskilli. I am a goal-setting and list-checking sort of person–I sit down every Sunday night and write up a detailed, task-by-task, account of what I need to do that week, organized into columns for different aspects of my life, along with deciding on an overarching achievement goal for the week, and I do this even on vacation–but I flat-out refused to finish the PP program. As a Beehive, I fulfilled some of the smaller (and stupider) goals under pressure from my leaders, but by the time I was a Mia Maid I realized that the program wasn’t doing anything for me that I wasn’t doing for myself, but was only making me jump through silly hoops for silly jewelry. So, while faithfully attending meetings and activities and etc, I simply refused to do any of the PP tasks, and if I inadvertently filled a goal, as I occasionally did, I refused to write it up. Luckily, I had relatively easy-going leaders who, once I explained my reasons for not following the program, left me alone about it.

    I feel this way about pretty much all goals set by other people–some people need and appreciate the external motivation, so organized and formalized goal programs are helpful. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, and I think it’s great that the Church provides such programs. More power to them, really. For me personally, however, strongly motivated by an internal drive for goal achievement, such programs are inevitably not only a waste of my time but also a major source of guilt (as I’ll always choose my personal goals over the external ones) and irritation (as I always feel slightly condescended to by the idea that I need such outside motivation).

  16. 16.

    Eve,

    Yep, the balance is hard. I still struggle with it, and it has created a little tension between me and our Personal Progress specialist.

    In the end, I agree with you: let the girls decide for themselves (without guilt).

  17. 17.

    I wish I had been as wise as you, kiskilli…
    I actually did think that getting all those trinkets did make me more spiritual somehow (and continued it in the mission field, getting every award offered by reading lots of books, memorizing scriptures, etc… never-mind that I was ‘cramming’ and nothing really stuck, I got the plaque so I must be spiritual… or at least everyone else though so, and that was what counted… okay, rambling now, you really didn’t need to know all this…)

    for me I think it made facing what ‘real’ spirituality was rather difficult. if you couldn’t put a check-mark by it… did it count?

    (great post, I am so glad I stopped by)

  18. 18.

    I am in YW and I too struggle with the balance. I think girls in general benefit from the program. Some may do things on their own, but many would not do alot of the goals and projects without it being part of a program. For example, a girl may read the scriptures for two weeks straight that hasn’t done this before in order to complete the goal, and begins to feel the spirit of the scriptures.

    I try to emphasize that the program is about learning more about themselves and about Christ, not about getting a necklace. I won’t follow them around and beat them over the heads, but I do want to do what I can to encourage them. They may discover many things that they may not have otherwise.

  19. 19.

    I think I did a alright when I was a Beehive, but then the PP program changed to a book where the goals were pretty much written out and you just selected one to do. I couldn’t go with that and I did not do any PP. I had perfect attendance at early morning Seminary for 4 years, president of every class, at every Super Saturday and dance, sometimes the only YW who showed up to activities–I was a “golden child” except for PP. Then I went to a Young Women in Excellence night (remember, perfect attendance) and one young woman who got her award spoke and I was touched by what she said (can’t remember what it was) and felt that I needed to humble myself and get those stupid awards. I did it all in my senior year.

    I wish, though, that we could cut all the extrinsic rewards out of church. If we want to celebrate accomplished youth, why not invite them up and point to them and say: here she is, she’d been working hard on herself for 6 years and learned a lot–we are so proud of the young woman she has become. Who wants cheap and ugly jewelry anyway?

    Goal-setting on my mission was painful to me because it was forced and numerical–those are not the terms in which I would normally think to “achieve,” but I did it because I tried to do things right (read:what was expected of me).

    I am not a goal setter, I don’t think, but I am “accomplished.” Not that I do much of anything well, but I am a natural learner and am generally trying something new. Isn’t everyone? Is anyone actually stagnant?

    For this reason, I cannot do Pursuit of Excellence. I am sure I am already doing much of what is in that book (why is the writing so tiny?), but I hate imposed goals. A challenge is a little better, but I have a rebellious spirit.

    When my children are there, I will be a stickler for attending meetings, but doing fake goals? Their choice. I would have to seriously ponder a YW calling, but I really doubt I will ever get one.

  20. 20.

    Somewhere between my Beehive and Laurel years (I didn’t pay close enough attention, apparently), they changed the Personal Progress program. If I remember correctly, when I began YW you could set your own goals toward earning the cheesy necklace. Somewhere along the way, they handed out new books with lists of predetermined goals that you could pick from amongst. I had a problem with the program from the very beginning — but the new implementation, where I couldn’t even come up with something personally meaningful to me…? Pardon me, but hell no. I refused to set and work toward someone else’s goals on principle.

    I’ve got three daughters. They’re preschoolers / babies now, but I’ll support their adolescent rebellion against YW if they feel it; it’s not the programs of the church that save us, and in fact in some cases I think they can drive us away. :-/

  21. 21.

    For every person who is motivated enough on their own to be successful without resorting to following some artificial path of predetermined goals, there may be 10 people who need those fake goals and the shiny necklace in order to progress.

    Exceptions aren’t the rule. The Scouting program, for all its stupidity (yes, I agree) has helped more young men go on missions and marry in the temple than would have done it without Scouting.

  22. 22.

    Queuno, I don’t see how you could possibly know that. Why couldn’t it be that YW or scouting drive more kids away from church activity than they help?

  23. 23.

    I whizzed through my Personal Progress, mostly because it was obvious my leaders weren’t that interested in it and no one I knew took it seriously.

    I remember being disillusioned early on when the YM got to go to Lake Powell to work on their merit badges for Scouts, while the YW met at the Church to learn how to make bread in the shape of teddy bears. Come to think of it, our leaders did take the teddy bear bread pretty seriously.

    In contrast, I worked fairly hard in school to achieve my academic goals because I knew good grades would get me a scholarship.

    I think Sally has a good point. Sometimes just going through the motions for awhile will inspire you to internalize the goals and make them yours.

  24. 24.

    Ok, I must confess, I LOVED earning those trinkets. And, this post made me think about why they were such an appealing incentive even though I thought they were ugly and never wanted to wear them.

    During a time when I wanted so much for things to be black and white, good and bad, PP was a way for me to measure my righteousness. I may not have had a testimony, I may have had serious issues with women’s roles in the Church, but darn it, I had the same medallions as the “righteous” girls.

    It’s so interesting to hear about others’ experiences in detail. Most of the time, conversations about PP (as a YW and as a leader) don’t go much further than, “Personal Progress? Ugh…but we have to do it!”

  25. 25.

    I had similar feelings about the Personal Progress program when I was a youth. I think mostly I just didn’t want to go to the trouble of writing things down and then possibly not being able to fulfill them…but part of my reluctance was definitely that it felt weird to do all this for the sake of a piece of jewelry. Really didn’t care about the YW medallion. I figured I had the rest of my life to set goals.

    And I *did* in fact set goals, but in retrospect I do think I would have benefited from being a tad more methodical about it–the whole commitment thing. I still don’t care about the YW medallion. I don’t regret not getting it. I do regret not accomplishing as much as I might have if I’d been a little more deliberate in my ambitions. Um, in other words, if I’d been more ambitious.

    I still think the jewelry aspect a little weird, but I admire girls who earn it. I think it’s a good program at the heart.

  26. 26.

    Thanks for all your very thoughtful comments!

    Liz, Emily, Sally, and Madhousewife, I think you’re all absolutely right to point out that Personal Progress has a lot of potential and may benefit many YW positively in their spiritual development, and I say, more power to them. In fairly different circumstances I can even imagine myself earning such an award and enjoying it–but that would have to have been a very low-pressure environment in which I was not led to feel that those in authority over me were appropriating my spirituality for their own ends. Also, ideally, I think the implementation of The Program (whatever it be) should be subordinate to the particulars of people’s own personal spiritual needs; I think in some situations spiritual development is left in the dust in a mad rush to fill out all the right forms and line them up in a vast forest of binders.

    What I rebelled against was not even Personal Progress specifically so much as its presentation, which, from my perspective, if I submitted to its demands, robbed me of any possible authenticity in my personal relationship with God, which had been aggressively converted into a means to the ultimate end: looking good to the community. By the time threats of forcing me to achieve my Personal Progress were being made, any possibility of doing it in a way that was meaningful to me personally seemed utterly out of reach; I had to withstand adults’ efforts to invade and annex my private spiritual devotion as a way of maintaining control, and thus meaning, in that very spiritual devotion. The motivation for achieving it under pressure would have to have been to look good, and I really chafed against the idea that religion’s primary purpose is to make you look good. It took me a long time, though, to really accept that sometimes you have to resist the Church in the interest of preserving your spiritual health. I didn’t want discourse on my religious devotion to be reduced to a discussion of the appropriate “programming,” as though I were a robot or a computer or a victim of brainwashing.

    That’s hilarious, Michelle! By the time people are being bopped over the head, I think it’s clear the program has run amok!

    That’s great, Jacob (by which I mean: ridiculous)! Ziff is our resident Scout Resister and Detester, but unfortunately he had to refine all sorts of evasion techniques in order to escape the clutches of the Goal Police and Inquisition.

    Mission rules really do sound like an egregious instance of subordinating people’s spiritual development to an all-powerful structure designed to steamroll people’s individual needs and abilities. In one of the Ramona books the title character is punished for pulling another girl’s bouncy curls, and when the teacher asks her whether she’d do it again, she, knowing herself, says, “Yes.” I think she’s suspended from school as a result (?), and all because she’s honest–she knows she’ll give in to the temptation and answers with the truth rather than what the teacher is fishing for.

    (All of this relates in a complicated way to the individually stifling authenticity-impervious structure imposed by ritual, though, that I haven’t entirely sorted out for myself.)

    Petra, that’s so interesting that you had a similar reaction! I like setting my own goals; if other people set them, it’s just difficult for me to feel that they’re mine, so it does become an exercise in “jumping through hoops.” Nothing wrong with that, especially if you intend to perform in a circus; since I don’t, I’d rather make up my own routines.

    Oh, G, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting the trinkets at all. I think your question about spirituality gets to the heart of the problem, though–if we can’t put a check by it, we simply don’t include it in The Program. The danger is that we forget there’s more to religious behavior than what The Program dictates. Anyway, thanks for stopping by! It’s nice to see you here.

    Thanks for your interesting thoughts, a spectator. Another danger of focusing myopically on goals is that we might conclude explicit goals are necessary to achievement, which they’re clearly not. (I remember as a Laurel being told one of my friends was practicing the piano for 20 hours as one of her projects. I pointed out that I, a self-taugth musician, fooled around all the time on the piano (to the horror of those who had to live with me), but I was told that that wouldn’t have been able to count for “self-improvement” even if I’d wanted to do a project, since I enjoyed it. Yes, I think I’ll definitely select an activity I despise and inflict it on myself in the name of “improvement,” all for the benefit of my leaders . . .)

    RCH, I think you’re absolutely right that the impersonal nature of programs can drive people away (and like you, I’m obviously very leery of goals imposed from other people). We like free agency a lot in the abstract. In the concrete world, though, we seem overly fond of goal-setting programs shaped like spiritual cattle prods.

    That’s hilarious, ECS! I suspect my leaders were hoping I’d learn to make bread in the shape of teddy bears for my 20-hour project. :)

    In any case, my suspicion of goals dates to earlier than my YW years–I had the privilege of attending elementary school at a time when the teachers were caught up in a wave of goal-setting mania that probably originated in pop psychology, mutated, and began reproducing and colonizing at an alarming rate. I remember, after reading articles that were all of two pages long, being required to fill out these sheets detailing how we intended to improve on our reading comprehension for the next brief article. I thought I was hilarious when I wrote things like “next time I’ll feed the assignment to my pet chicken” or “my goal is to flush the next assignment down the toilet.”

  27. 27.

    I was a golden girl in my young women’s leaders eyes, but I was not very good at doing things, like daily scripture study or prayer, something I still work on.
    I did a little bit of my PP, but I don’t think I ever earned even one medallion.
    The leaders would sign off on things I was already doing and what plans I already had but I rarely did any actual goal setting.
    In fact I hate goal setting. I work for grades, money or deadlines, but not medallions or personal worth.
    For me goal setting is hard.
    I just don’t like the thought of failure and that’s all I saw when I looked at PP.
    I wouldn’t be enough because I’d probably fail at my goals or fall short. So I stopped and when I moved to a new ward my senior year of high school and they asked me about PP, I said I just didn’t do it and wasn’t interested in it.

    I saw it as an outwardly way to see how spiritual someone was, and I felt I was lacking.

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