I think, however, these quotes represent the belief that a woman’s role is to be a nurturing “angel mother” to those around her.

I’m not seeing it. Yes, two of the quotes mention service. But how is this any different from what is said about the men in the church? We are all counseled to serve. For such statements to be sexist, they would have to be different from those about and to men.

It is my understanding that the angel mother paradigm is “characterized by her heroic self-sacrifice for her children,” to quote Eve.

I don’t see any mention at all of self-sacrifice, maternal or otherwise, in those talks. Yes, the student nurse did stop by the woman’s apartment. But home viists are a routine part of the job in public health nursing, so it is not clear whether or not visiting her home was going the extra mile. The message I got from the talk was the importance of praying over our work as we are counseled in Alma 34. When I write a report, even though it just involves statistics and is not serving anyone directly, I still start the process on my knees.

You seem to be shifting the definition of “angel mother” a few standard deviations to encompass all service, as if service were a bad thing. I think there is a big difference between serving, and giving the oxygen mask to a child first.

Service is an inherent part of the gospel. One of the few reasons we need a church structure is to organize our service.

Examples from your quotes: the kind nurse, the statement that the unmarried woman “stood in our council room and shared with us principles of welfare and of helping those who are in distress”, etc.

Jessawhy, you have taught me a lot of things over the years, and your intellect has never ceased to impress me. You don’t allow me to get lazy in my thinking! That’s just a natural trait of yours, you can’t get all that from a silly literature degree. : )

And don’t worry, you’re not the only one around here who doesn’t have a graduate degree in literature or feminism. I don’t have a graduate degree in *anything*.

Not true, Naismith. What you describe may not be a classic zero-sum game, but there are virtually no General Conference talks (or scriptures, for that matter) that praise women outside the context of the “angel-mother” paradigm.

I can think of several general conference talks which praise women outside of that paradigm.

Let’s try

“The Light in Their Eyes,” President James E. Faust, Oct 2005
Some years ago, Constance, a student nurse, was assigned to try and help a woman who had injured her leg in an accident. The woman refused medical help because she had had a negative experience with someone at the hospital. She was afraid and had become something of a recluse. The first time Constance dropped by, the injured woman ordered her out. On the second try, she did let Constance in. By now the woman’s leg was covered with large ulcers, and some of the flesh was rotting. But still she didn’t want to be treated.

Constance made it a matter of prayer, and in a day or two the answer came. She took some foaming hydrogen peroxide with her for the next visit. As this was painless, the old woman let her use it on her leg. Then they talked about more serious treatment at the hospital. Constance assured her the hospital would make her stay as pleasant as possible. In a day or two the woman did get the courage to enter the hospital. When Constance visited her, the woman smiled as she said, “You convinced me.” Then, quite unexpectedly, she asked Constance, “What church do you belong to?” Constance told her she was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The woman said: “I knew it. I knew you were sent to me from the first day that I saw you. There was a light in your face that I had noticed in others of your faith. I had to put my trust in you.”

In three months’ time that festering leg was completely healed. Members of the ward where the old woman lived remodeled her house and fixed up her yard. The missionaries met with her, and she was baptized soon after. All of this because she noticed the light in that young student nurse’s face.

So a woman whose marital/motherhood status is not even mentioned is praised for her work in her career, and dilligence in applying gospel principles and faithfulness.

Then there was

“The Women in Our Lives,” President Gordon B. Hinckley, Oct 2004
I recognize that we have many wonderful women among us who do not have the opportunity of marriage. But they, too, make such a tremendous contribution. They serve the Church faithfully and ably. They teach in the organizations. They stand as officers.

I witnessed a very interesting thing the other day. The General Authorities were in a meeting, and the presidency of the Relief Society were there with us. These able women stood in our council room and shared with us principles of welfare and of helping those who are in distress. Our stature as officers of this Church was not diminished by what they did. Our capacities to serve were increased.

There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her. It has been said, “Man can not degrade woman without himself falling into degradation; he can not elevate her without at the same time elevating himself” (Alexander Walker, in Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book [1923], 204).

So he is explicitly praising women who are *not* mothers.

And I really loved this talk

“To Young Women,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Oct 2005
First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him. Because of this divine heritage you, along with all of your spiritual sisters and brothers, have full equality in His sight and are empowered through obedience to become a rightful heir in His eternal kingdom, an “[heir] of God, and joint-[heir] with Christ.” Seek to comprehend the significance of these doctrines. Everything Christ taught He taught to women as well as men. Indeed, in the restored light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a woman, including a young woman, occupies a majesty all her own in the divine design of the Creator. You are, as Elder James E. Talmage once phrased it, “a sanctified investiture which none shall dare profane.”

Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. This Church needs you. The world needs you. A woman’s abiding trust in God and unfailing devotion to things of the Spirit have always been an anchor when the wind and the waves of life were fiercest. I say to you what the Prophet Joseph said more than 150 years ago: “If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.”

It is about each young woman being her best self for herself, not merely so that she can grow up to be a better mother.

I hear lots of praise for women, having nothing to do with their role as mothers. Now, some may argue that Constance still fits the paradigm because nursing is a nurturing, mother-like profession…..

I think we’re interpreting GA and related discourse at different levels; you’re considering what’s said, I’m considering what I understand to be the unspoken assumptions underlying what’s said. So you want to point out that no one is told to be vacuous, saccharine, and boring in General Conference. Of course they aren’t. But women are rarely, if ever, praised for being independent, powerful, intelligent, or decisive. What we’re overwhelmingly praised for is maternal self-sacrifice. That definitely sends a message about the sorts of traits we should develop, and it’s not a message I find fits me or my life terribly well. At all, actually. (And it’s not just a matter of not having kids, I don’t think. My mother, who has seven children, and my dearest friend, who has two, both despise this kind of rhetoric as well.)

Please don’t misunderstand me. (To go back several comments)–I’ve never used the term “political correctness,” and I’ve never said I want to impose any rules whatsoever on how people should praise one another or express gratitude. I’m quite opposed to censorhip, actually. And I’m not about to deprive you or any other mother of praise (although praise itself is highly problematic, but that’s for another post). It’s not at all that I want praise I feel is going to another type of woman, or that I feel jealous of someone who got her name in General Conference, or that I feel that “my type” isn’t getting enough accolades. Accolades aren’t really my thing.

All I’m doing here is pointing out to a pattern in our discourse that we’ve clearly appropriated from the broader culture and suggesting that it might be a somewhat two-dimensional paradigm for a human life. If you find it useful, OK. A lot of women do seem to find it comfortable fit.

I don’t know that there’s much more I can say to explain where I’m coming from. I’m sorry that you can’t understand why any woman would have a negative reaction to that phrase; I’ve done my best to explain why I do, and I don’t think I can add much to what I’ve already said. So I think it’s time for me to leave the discussion, attempt to get caught up on my piles of schoolwork and prepare for some upcoming cross-country trips, and wish you all the best.