Scholars from Reed College and Stanford reviewed over 150 praise studies. Their meta-analysis determined that praised students become risk-averse and lack perceived autonomy. The scholars found consistent correlations between a liberal use of praise and students’ “shorter task persistence, more eye-checking with the teacher, and inflected speech such that answers have the intonation of questions.”

Dweck’s research on overpraised kids strongly suggests that image maintenance becomes their primary concern–they are more competitive and more interested in tearing others down. A raft of very alarming studies illustrate this.

This is from the NYT ‘The Power (and Peril) of Praising your Kids’ from BCC’s sideblog (I’d put the link in, but whenever I do that the comment gets snagged by the spam filter). The whole thing is worth reading, and has many interesting implications for what is being discussed here.

then i awoke and dug that if i dreamed natural dreams of being a natural woman doing what a woman does when she’s natural i would have a revolution ~ Nikki Giovanni

I don’t doubt that the speakers are sincere, or even that women generally exhibit these characteristics more frequently than do men (whether from lower testosterone or societal conditioning I can’t say). And I suppose as a hyper-mama type, I should bask in the praise of my nurturance. But, see, it’s my nurturing spirit that most balks at those talks, exactly because I care about so many women who find essentialist gender equations deeply *personally* hurtful and at odds with what they know about their own nature. The academic dissections? I can deal with those, even enjoy them. The friends who want to curl into fetal position or flee the church because they’re certain they can’t measure to the church’s active requirements when their passive, inherent natures fall short of the mark? That just makes me nuts. It makes the spiritual, kind, nurturing, soft me NUTS.

I’m inclined to think that the organizational skills and spiritual gifts necessary for building Zion are more like running than power lifting.

I’ve always assumed you could draw a pretty straight line from the level of testosterone in the brain to the amount of agressive behavior the owner of the brain displays. But there are plenty of people who are awash in testosterone who manage to modulate their behavior, so I guess I need to rethink my assumptions.

For some reason, Lockdown II: Women behind Bars sounds like something that would require a visit to the bishop’s office after viewing.

ECS, I’ve often been tempted to take up a life of violent crime, but fortunately my sweet feminine nature has intervened.

Annegb, I can relate all too well to that image.

Theophilus, I think Kiskilili concisely summed up my point. But just for the record, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be dead on if you want to call me on the sin of pride. I will say, however, that I’m quite free of tinkling ornaments about my feet, bracelets, headbands, rings, and nose jewels.

Jessawhy, I also found Sheri Dew’s style to be tremendously refreshing (even when I disagreed with what she was saying). And I think you’ve hit on the problem–speaking strongly and authoritatively has been traditionally coded as masculine or “man-like.”

And that’s a good question about the meaning of “nurture.” Hmm. This is hardly anything earthshattering, but I usually think of it along the lines of acting in ways that encourage the growth and development of others.  Which is pretty vague, I’m realizing.  (Then again, maybe “nurture” as we use it in the Church isn’t actually meant to have any connection to the way it’s defined in the dictionary or is used elsewhere in the world . . . )

Proud Daughter of Eve, I’m not sure I entirely understand your argument. I’ll grant that it might well be true, as you say, that “women tend to be more community and consensus-oriented whereas men tend to be more hierarchial.” But even if that’s the case, I’d still see it as valuable for men to work on developing connection/relational skills, and women to work on developing leadership skills. I see it as important not only for communities to have both of those dimensions, but for individual human beings to have them as well.